ideas for a non-crazy Bar Mitzvah celebration?

[villager]

My oldest son has his... next summer! Since I don't live with his mom anymore, the logistics are a bit of a negotiation. The ceremony is happening at the Temple where I teach (!), but since post-marriage has been financially challenging for both his mother and me, neither of us has the means -- or the desire -- for one of these over-the-top "celebrations" of what should be at least a somewhat spiritually infused event.

Anyone been through this recently? Any thoughts, ideas?

Thanks, all...

[blueraven95]

1. a thought...

My parents, several years ago now :), got through my sister and my Bat Mitzvahs by having smaller house parties for us - it really kept the spiritual aspect alive and definitely cost them a lot less money. I don't know if this is feasible for you but just cutting the costs of renting a hall and getting a dj or band makes a huge difference. In retrospect, I am glad they went in the direction they did - the big blowouts that some of the other kids in no way make me jealous - the day became more about the people involved than the money spent.

[villager]

2. thanks!

n/t

[NJ Democrats]

3. I had mine 2 years ago

But my grandparents paid for it, my mom just designed the whole thing. I had 150 people or so, I don't know what you would consider it though

[villager]

4. thanks for checking in...

i guess the question is: how did the big celebration make you feel? Did the whole event still seem spiritual and personal?

[NJ Democrats]

5. I loved it!

It was one of the best days of my life

[villager]

6. great! Could I ask, if you gave a quick summary...

what were the things that made it great?

[question everything]

7. Rent "Keeping Up With the Steins"

Yes, predictable, but a lot of truth there.

[Debbi801]

8. we did my son's very reasonably this past February...

Similar situation, my son's father and I are divorced, although we both belong to the same temple.

We had a luncheon after the service. Kept it to about 75-80 people. Had it at an inexpensive catering hall that did not have a minimum or hall rental fee. Served finger foods buffet style. No alcohol. Instead of a photographer, bought a bunch of disposable cameras and put them out on all the tables. Only had "portraits" done by a photographer of my son in his tallit, with the prayer book, etc. College student as DJ. Did out own centerpieces.

There is a great book out there called Mitzvah Chic. It has a ton of ideas, it was very helpful. I am about to start digging through it again as I start thinking about my daughter's bat mitzvah.

Good luck!

[villager]

9. good tips! Thanks!

http://medium.sa.utoronto.ca:16080/archives/vol30/issue22/images/a2.jpg

[Ian David]

10. You know what would be a whole lot of fun?

A Bar Mitzvah at a roller rink.

I don't mean just the reception.

I mean the ceremony, too.

Everyone-- even the Rabbi-- on roller skates. (Careful with that Torah, Rabbi!)


Or a Country Western bar!

[villager]

11. I'd love a country-western bar

Trick would be to get the Bar Mitzvah boy to agree.

And his mom, the Ex!