Etiquette between Orthodox Jewish-Gentile

[fortyfeetunder]

I have Jewish friends across the spectrum. However, I have friends and met Orthodox Jews but admit there is some etiquette I am lacking on -- regarding:

Mutual observances of each others holidays
Meeting and greeting (male and female)


Can anyone educate me on it? PM me if you want specifc examples.

Thanks and Shalom!

[Behind the Aegis]

1. I only know of one thing off the top of my head

Generally, you never touch (including a handshake) a married Orthodox woman. I understand that some are more lax about it, but others are quite adament about it.

[ikojo]

3. It's just not married females of any branch of Judaism...

Orthodox men will try to avoid touching any woman, who is not their wife (and their wife at certain times of the month--Laws of Family Purity) who is past the age of 12. The reason this is done is because there is no way of telling whether a woman is on her period or not and also the orthodox believe men are so weak spiritually that merely hearing a woman's voice or touching a woman who is not their wife will lead them down the path of sin. This is the explanation given for the mechitza (the barrier that separates male worshippers from female worshippers in an orthodox synagagogue).

[fortyfeetunder]

2. Here is another situation

A person is Christian and has a relative by marriage who is an Orthodox Jew. It is true that relative can't wish the person a Merry Christmas, or Happy Easter (or even say happy holiday to you)? And this relative cannot come to the gentile's house on those holidays? Even if the gentile kept kosher for the sake of the visit?

[Sgent]

4. I couldn't possibly imagine

a case where a Gentile could keep kosher strictly enough to be acceptable to the orthodox jew. Even as much as handling a glass/bottle of wine (or a bunch of grapes) can create problems. Keep in mind that its not just the food, but its also the people handling it -- for certain foods they have to be observant jews.

That being said, for general family purposes, they should be able to work something out -- for instance if those who keep kosher bring their own dishes to heat up, and then use plastic silverware. Also fresh frutis (uncut) and vegtables can be acceptable.

As for celebrating christmas or easter dinner, the individual jew would have to make their own decision. If it is merely a family dinner, they may not have a problem. If it is a full on celebration fo the holiday probably not.

[AlienGirl]

5. Wishing people happy holidays

It would really be rather silly to wish a non-Christian person "Happy Easter" or "Merry Christmas." It would be like wishing a Christian "Happy Eid" or "Blessed Imbolc."

Side note: an even bigger social faux-pas, IMO, is expressing sympathy that someone (in a store, for instance) "has to work on Christmas/Easter." I work in retail, and I consider it a mitzvah to work on my Christian co-workers' holidays so that they can celebrate with their families. I really don't want to have to explain to every person who comes through that they really don't need to feel sorry for me because my Christian co-workers will reciprocate by covering for me on the High Holy Days.

Tucker

[fortyfeetunder]

6. It was the other way around

My gentile friend was expected to wish her Orthodox inlaw Happy "Jewish Holiday" but they would not wish her a "Happy Christian Holiday"....

That was the crux of it.