Hospital called today wanting money . . .

[DollyM]

Our son has barely been dead three weeks and the hospital business office called today wanting money. I could not believe how cold and callous this person was, she wanted to know how we were going to pay our son's bill since we did not have insurance. She didn't say, "I'm sorry for your loss" first or anything. Do they feed these people raw meat for breakfast or something???? The bill was ridiculous too. He was dead before he got there. All they did was lay him on the table and pronounce him dead, no procedures done, nothing. His bill is $2200.00. I told her that my husband had lost his job 7 months ago and we were living on a little bit of unemployment that would soon run out. She repeated again that we needed to make arrangements to pay this bill. I was in tears (again) by the time I hung up the phone. I know they want their money but geeze, can't they even say "i'm sorry" or be respectful that we just buried our child.

[CC]

1. They can be cold and yes callous.

Your son was over 18, tell them to file a claim with his estate.
Since it was a car crash I would just send anything bills to the car insurance. Not sure what kind of coverage he had but that would be the first place they should try to collect. Beyond that I really would tell them to file a claim on his estate. My son was only 18 when he was killed and everything had to go through his estate (of exactly nothing, zero, zip)and they could not hold us liable for any bills since he was considered an adult legally. Do not promise them anything or sign anything saying you will pay. After that I would see if I could talk to a lawyer locally to help. I am not a lawyer nor giving legal advice but I am a mom that has been there and they piss me off. Beyond that our situation was different and we did end up with a lawyer that handled lots for us. Sending you lots of hugs and understanding. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk a bit privately. I am not sure if I have any wisdom to help but I can listen and just be there.

[auntAgonist]

3. hi CC

I'm so glad you commented and so sorry for your loss too.

I just wanted to offer a :hug:

aA
kesha

[CC]

7. Hi auntAgonist

:hug: Thank you and though it has been a while and I have gotten better at this thing called living with loss I am still terrible at putting it all into words for others. You though are very good at it. :hug:

[DollyM]

5. he only had liability on the car . . .

But for some reason the insurance company has sent us a letter with a claim number and asked us to contact them. I have tried but seem to be playing telephone tag with the claims person. I just cancelled the insurance on him and the car after his death so I don't know if someone tried to put in a claim against the insurance company or what. We didn't give it to the hospital or anything. I guess I will have to just keep trying the claims person and see what they tell me. I will say this for Geico, at least the person who left the message on my phone said they were very sorry for our loss. That is more than the person at the hospital did. Maybe I am overly sensitive right now but it wouldn't have cost her anything to have just been a little sensitive to the fact that we just lost our son.

[CC]

6. It is worth checking so keep calling

the insurance company and leave a message for them to call you back if you can't get a person soon. Some states require you to have PIP (personal injury protection) and he may of had the minimum of it. Also write everything down asap after talking to anyone. My memory was shot for a long while. Helps to get a name number and put down the date and time.

Unfortunately the rest of the world keeps on going even though ours has come apart. You have every right to be sensitive right now and you'll have the right to be sensitive for a while. Hang in there,cry when you feel like crying, scream when you feel like screaming and just allow yourself the time you need to mourn no matter what anyone else thinks you should be doing. No two people grieve the same, even when it is over the loss of the same person. When you are ready you might want to see if the is a Compassionate Friends chapter near you. They have been there and can offer wisdom and comfort. :hug:s

[DollyM]

8. I think Geico just restored my faith in humanity . . .

A very kind lady on the other end of the phone at Geico told me to send them the hospital bill and they would pay $1000.00 of it and they would take care of any property damage also. My feeling is at this point to tell the hospital they have $1000.00 coming for the bill and they can take it or leave it. If he had a medical card they wouldn't get that much probably.
We had applied for medical cards for us as well as food stamps back in April and never heard back from our DHS office. We have gone in several times but the people at the front desk are no help at all. I think they probably lost the case or it fell between the cracks. I wrote a letter to some one I knew professionally there at DHS and ask if she could at least check on our case and see if anything had been done towards it.
I thought the job losses were the worst thing that could happen to us but I was wrong. Losing my "baby" has left me utterly devastated.

[auntAgonist]

2. I'm so angry for you. Where is the humanity. Dolly I'm sorry

they showed no respect whatsoever. I wouldn't have a clue what to do but it looks like you have some good suggestions upthread.

I have been thinking of you everyday since your first post.

I wish I had more to offer than just a cyber :hug:

please take care of you.

kesha.
:hug:

[livetohike]

4. Just one of the many problems of our so-called health care

system. I'm so sorry this is happening to you :hug: That was great advice from CC, I think. I wouldn't promise the hospital a cent.

[DollyM]

9. I haven't heard a word from the hospital since this . . .

Not even a bill . . . I wonder if they decided it wasn't worth pursuing or if Geico contacted them and offered them something which they took and wrote off the rest to their indigent care fund. I got a bill for the x rays they took after he was dead but it said it had been submitted to his insurance so I don't know what that means. That $1000.00 bucks from Geico isn't going to stretch to everyone. I haven't got a bill from the ambulance yet, that is the one I am dreading as they actually do try to do something for him. He was dead on impact but they did attempt CPR and tubed him for his trip to the hospital. I got a sympathy card from the air evac company which I thought was really strange. I wonder if they were disappointed they didn't get to transport him, (sorry to sound so cynical but it just seems too many people wanted thier cut from this poor dead child.)
I don't know what to think, I am just trying to survive day to day and keep looking for jobs when I feel like crap. Sometimes I just want to go and join my baby.

[auntAgonist]

10. oh Dolly

You last comment is so sad. I think many people feel that way after the loss of someone so near and dear to them. Words fail me right now yet I so wish there was something I could say that would comfort you.

I will continue to hold you in my thoughts.

Have you been able to counsel with anyone at all? I don't want to be intrusive, I just wonder if there is someone there, a professional perhaps, that is helping you deal with this grief.

:hug: Dolly, feel free to PM anytime you feel like it.

kesha

[DollyM]

11. today was a little better day . . .

We (husband and I) went to see Harry Potter 6 together and then went out for Mexican and sat and talked about our son. Well, I cried mostly but could at least say, "dam jalapeno peppers!" and pass it off as that. Our son was looking forward to the next HP movie so we went to see it for him. Then stopped out at his grave site as we were coming home and talked to him a bit. I just have to figure out how to keep him in my life but still go on with my life.

[livetohike]

12. Just the overload of paperwork (bills) and other business is

overwhelming.....Please take good care of yourself Dolly and PM me if you need to vent or just want to talk :hug:.

[Odin2005]

13. Ugh, that is fucking evil and outrageous!

They don't deserve a fucking dime!

[demwing]

14. I'm so sorry for your loss

reading your story made me break down into tears. I think I understand your grief, though I know it is so very personal. Losing my son will be the heaviest burden I will ever carry in my life. I will pray for you and yours, that somehow, your burden will be lessened.