Advice on going gray?

[Critters2]

Hi! If anyone has helpful thoughts, I'd be grateful.

About 10 years ago, I began coloring my hair. I started because my dark brown hair would fade into a nice auburn color in the summer, and I wanted to keep the auburn tint year 'round. Well, of course, the brown became gray in time, and I was coloring more and more often. I'm tired of the hassle. Besides, I've read that there may be a connection between hair coloring and brain cancers. My mother died of a brain tumor, and I don't want to put my family through that if it can be avoided.

So, I've decided to stop coloring my hair. It'll be a pretty drastic change, because I think it'll be VERY gray when it grows out. So, I'd like to do things as gradually as possible. But I do want to stop coloring it in the end--if only to see what color my hair really is! If I don't like it, I may go to using a henna or other natural color. But even to do that, I need to get the chemically-treated stuff grown out and cut.

So, have any of you done this? What techniques did you use--highlights, lowlights, temporary rinses?
I'm considering using a temporary rinse, like Fanci-full, at my part, and let the other hair go as best I can. But I'm open to suggestions.

Thanks for any help! I am really sorry I've been so vain, and feel like I'm about to pay for it!
Thanks!

Ol' Gray Critters

[MuseRider]

1. Not vain!

I refused to color my hair for the longest time, I thought the same as you, it was vain. Besides, I was a natural woman. About 10 years ago I changed my mind. It seemed like fun and fun it is. I have been blondish, streaky, dark under with light over and light under with dark over. I even stained it a couple of summers ago with yellow and orange just for fun and once used a very light blonde tinted with lavender (it was wonderful). I am still doing it hoping that the Aveda will not give me a brain tumor. I probably have a little gray since I occasionally see a white eyebrow but at almost 53 I have not gotten too gray.

I would consider a pro to help you do this but that is just me, I would be hopelessly bumbling around until I ended up really looking strange and then my hair would fall out. I was born without those hair styling genes that we women are supposed (?) to have and little sense for doing things gradually.

Good luck, I just wanted you to know that sometimes messing with easily changed things like your hair is more fun than for vanity. Or maybe I was just justifying it to myself :).

[Longhorn]

2. I feel the same way.

I was blond as a child and helped it along in high school. Then I went to my natural color, which is a medium to dark brown, but when the gray showed up, I didn't like it. About seven years ago, I started off with blond highlights but that just helped me realize that I really wanted to be a blond, so I went all the way and I've loved every minute of it!

My hair is much prettier when it's blond. It is bone-straight and fine so there was nothing of interest there when it was brown. My oldest daughter has light brown hair but it is thick and wavy and looks fabulous! But not me! I don't see anything wrong with wanting to look younger and blond hair, for me, seems to do the trick. My mother, who resembles Betty White, did the same thing and she says her hair is almost pure white underneath. But at almost 74, she looks a good ten years younger with blond hair.

I go to my hairdresser every five weeks. I also get a pedicure and acrylic nails done every three weeks at a nail salon. I have size 11 feet, wrinkly "man hands" (a la Seinfeld), and I'm about 40 pounds overweight so these things help me feel more feminine. Add my Saleen Mustang convertible and you can bet I'm having FUN! :D

As far as how to transition, I, too, would go to a professional. I did my own hair for years and had my share of catastrophes. I'd probably start with heavy highlights since today's styles allow for some pretty obvious chunks of lighter hair. Just keep it up until the roots pretty much blend in with the rest of the hair. I've seen women grow out their hair with no attempt at disguise and, frankly, it's not pretty seeing that definite line of gray roots growing longer and longer until you can cut the colored portion off. Then again, I guess only a "vain" woman would mind, huh? ;) I think natural salt-and-pepper hair transitioning to gray can be quite beautiful!

[MuseRider]

3. Interesting

my hair is just like yours. Even a curly permanent only lasts for a few days. A pigtail is only as big around as a pencil. I have a lot of it but it is very fine. It has been very hard to work with.

Remember "When I'm an old woman I shall wear purple"? I am not old and because of the freedom I see in becoming an older woman I intend never to be old. It is time for fun. If my hair turns a lovely white or gray I will let it but if it gets nasty yellow with my pink scalp showing I will be doing whatever it takes to be able to look in the mirror and say, "I am a cool old gal" and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. Fast car? Why not. Nice nails? I can't do it because of what I do in life but if it suits you why not? We are WOMAN and we can do whatever we want, whatever it takes to make us happy having fun with ourselves. (of course I had to give up on being able to tell my husband what I want him to do with himself, can't have double standards, so I am living in fear that he will cut off his beautiful beard)

Our bodies are the most wonderful canvas that we can choose to decorate or leave blank or both. I find that so wonderful.

[Critters2]

4. I didn't mean to touch a nerve

Me, I feel vain in continuing to color my hair. But, more importantly, I have health concerns about comntinung to apply heavy chemicals to my head. I read the sides of the boxes, and think about those things seeping into my pores, and I just don't feel good about it. Again, if I don't like it, I'll go to a henna color or something, but henna isn't supposed to be applied over chemically-treated hair (hard to know how the compounds will react), so even if I go to henna, I have to let the gray grow out first.

And I don't feel free to be too crazy with my color. I'm a pastor. It's hard enough to get male colleagues to take one seriously, and lavendar hair would only make that worse. Maybe gray hair will give me gravitas :)

Thanks for your thoughts. I probably will go to a pro before this process is over. Again, thanks!

[MuseRider]

5. No nerves!

I wanted to support you in whatever choice you make. Either way. If it is your choice is great. I just did not want you to feel vain! Or perhaps the lot of us are and we just don't know it? ;)

Whatever you choose will be right for you. Good luck and I am sorry if it seemed that I over reacted.

[shanti]

8. natural woman...

yes, that was me too! i let my hair go gray when i was about 40, mainly to see what it looked like, but also because i didn't want to process it. but it wasn't the "pretty" gray/white that i thought it would be, and had seen on others, so at 50, i now have it "highlighted", which is basically blonde. i have it done professionally so it looks healthy, but i know there will be a day that i will want to go back to nature again (probably at retirement in 4 years).

[RazzleCat]

6. Here is one way

Start with going to a stylist and tell them what your goal is. In my case I still cover my grays, but I wanted to know what they looked like. I went to a colorist and he highlighted my hair so as the gray came in at the roots would be less visible, or maybe I should say more "natural" looking in the deep red hair I had. Basically he lightened all my hair to a strawberry blonde then went back in with foil wraps in a golden blonde, this allowed the gray to blend in as it came in instead of looking like skunk streaks. Turned out my gray was of the battleship variety, a very unflattering color on me, so I now just do my whole head in a lighter color, this allows the gray to just sort of disappears into my color rather than jump at you.

The original color job with the foil wraps cost about $70.00 plus tip, money well spent in my book. I now go back about 2x per year for foils, and just use a semi-permanent rinse about every 3 months to "freshen up" my color.

[Critters2]

7. This is good advice. I will go to a colorist and see what they advise.

I think mine will be "of the battleship variety", too. At least that's how it's starting to appear. But I'd like to really know what kind of color I'll have, and then, as I say, go to a henna tint or something.

Thanks!

[blogslut]

9. Yep

This is the way I would transition the ladies that wished to go gray. Heavy intitally, then gradual until the dark part is gone.

As for the chemicals affecting you, remember that when it comes to tipping your colorist. Whatever exposure you receive, your colorist gets it squared.

[LibertyLover]

10. I'm an on and off hair color user

I'm basically a red-head who is now going grey. If it were just me, or just me and my husband, who is grey already, I'd say the heck with it and just let the hair go. Problem is that we have a 5 year old daughter. Call me vain, but for her sake, I've decided to color my hair so that I don't appear so much older than the mothers of her friends and classmates. As for brain cancers, my mom colored her hair for years and died at the age of 90, not from brain cancer. I'm at the grey stage where temporary rinses would be really temporary - maybe a week. I guess my thought is that if you have decided to stop coloring your hair and let nature take its course, just, as the commercials say, do it. And get some of the really good shampoo for grey hair.

[minerva50]

11. How times have changed

My mother's hair stayed brown forever, at 82 it is still a mix of white and brown. When we were young, my sister accused her of being a secret dyer. "All my friend's mothers have gray hair." She thought mom should be a proper, gray-haired mother. She and I, however, took after my dad's side of the family and started going gray in our 20's, and started dying it when it got beyond the "frosted" look. I tried letting it go natural about ten years ago, but decided I didn't like it. I thought it was too patchy. One side was dark, the other gray, my crown was gray, but my bangs dark. I went back to dying, but decided to go blond rather than dark, because it was easier than trying to get my resistant gray to take a dark shade. I also think a lighter color is kinder against older complexions. About a year ago, however, I decided to try again and this time I love it. It's a beautifull silver-white all over.

If you want to grow yours out, I would recommend you consult a hairdresser. You might try highlighting it to blend it as it grows out. Mine was pretty ugly for some months, especially the first time I tried it. It was easier going from blond to gray.