Just curious....

[bliss_eternal]

...what is the general climate like for women on other "progressive" web-sites?

Anyone have any idea? :shrug:

I'm not asking because I want to leave here and go there. I don't generally buy into the grass being greener anywhere. LOL!

I just want to know if certain behaviors, statements, words, etc. are tolerated throughout the blogosphere or if this specific site is unique? Also wondered after reading the thread and article about the dangers that face outspoken women blogger--with many even fearing for their lives.

So any feedback on this is appreciated.
Thanks! :)

[BlueIris]

1. This site is uniquely warped.

The disturbing pro-rape/rationalizations of rape that are posted and tolerated here would never fly on any other site I frequent. And the anti-choice on other sites I post at aren't nearly as overt as they are on DU.

[bliss_eternal]

4. I hear you...

...there's a lot I can look the other way on, but rape rationalizations and forced birth?
:puke:

I appreciate your weighing in on this. I wonder about this a lot.

[BlueIris]

9. The reason I almost got banned right after I registered here

(for harassing the mods) was because I couldn't understand why certain atrocious comments ("but rape isn't that bad--women who feel totally traumatized by it are just overreacting") were left to fester on the boards one day. I kept alerting and alerting and alerting and totally freaking out at the mods ("why aren't you deleting these????"). I thought they were just ignoring the problems or there weren't enough mods "on duty" that day. The other progressive sites I'd been going to for almost five years had extremely strict, generally feminist posting guidelines. I'd gotten used to the civility (and the disciplined mod-ing) and didn't "get" that the standards were totally different here.

[bliss_eternal]

10. You aren't the only one...

...that didn't (or couldn't) understand things here. I lurked here a bit before joining. It seemed that disruption wasn't tolerated including bigotry and sexism. I recall a few comments that featured some of both and they were IMMEDIATELY deleted. Given some of the other places I'd visited, this seemed great.

I wouldn't be here if I didn't get something out of it. I don't want to sound like I'm being "victimized" as it's my choice to visit or not. But I HAVE to agree with you. Some of the stuff that remains here is disturbing, to say the least. As such, sometimes I question my participation and level of commitment. Don't know if that makes sense. :crazy:

[BlueIris]

11. Oh, your post makes total sense. I question my presence here, too.

But I do get a lot of valuable info from this site, and overall think that the level of debate here is pretty high. Sort of. Mostly. Most of the time. And I have one forum that I still feel like I couldn't live without, so I stay.

[bliss_eternal]

12. The few forums/groups that I visit...

I do enjoy. The people in them, and our interactions are positive, helpful, informative, fun, etc. or I wouldn't stay.
But sometimes I question this choice (for myself).

One thing that helps me is staying out of GD as much as possible. I can't feel abused or belittled if I don't go there. Putting people on ignore is helpful, too. I can't feel or be abused, if I can't see the garbage certain people write. :puke:

Like you, I consider this place a good resource. But more and more frequently, I question my choice to remain when I am only participating in a few small groups and forums. :shrug: The climate in the bigger forums doesn't make me feel welcome to participate as frequently as I once did.

[VelmaD]

2. I think most sites are just as bad...

Even on the feminist blogs I frequent, you just can't always get away from the mouth-breathing, sexist assholes.

For me it just feels worse here because I'm an old-timer. Was here from almost the beginning. So I get pissed off when the boys make me feel like this place isn't really "home".

[bliss_eternal]

6. I know in the beginning here...

I was very naive. I expected all Dem/progressives to be like me, and that was not the case at all. I don't need people to walk, talk or think as I do, but I do expect certain levels of respect, kindness and decency from people that are supposed to be the "liberal" party.

(sigh)

:eyes:

[noamnety]

3. it's everywhere.

and in fact, not just blogs and forums, but also radio and tv, including those which are supposedly progressive.

On another nonpolitical site where I block people when they are sexist assholes, I see the front page has 25 threads, of which 13 are currently blocked. Quite a ratio.

I've had two explicit anal-rape comments directed at me this month, from two different sources, and a series of posts directed at me from an extremely lefty anti-war source, calling me a little bitch (with other anti-war men chiming in to support that). My offense was objecting to a post they made talking about "bitches."

That's just the stuff aimed at me, so you can imagine the general tone toward other women.

The exceptions are blogs where the owner has made a specific statement that no anti-woman crap will be tolerated. Those sites still get the same shit, but sometimes those posts aren't moderated in; other times they are left with a mod's note embedded into the post, calling them on their assholery.

[bliss_eternal]

5. Sometimes I wonder...

...if I should have different expectations? Like, am I expecting too much from hetero, white males in general. Even those that are seemingly MOST supportive of our issues. They don't seem to understand when we are being blatantly terrorized (and by who).

[OzarkDem]

7. Seriously

and no offense to Skinner

:hide:

but, I think there are a few more GOP trolls per capita in DU than other forums, some with high post counts.

I've argued with right wing acquaintances who have revealed their participation in the fora here.

Other than that, some Dem men still don't get it.

[bliss_eternal]

8. Threads like this...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=798253

concern me. My personal experiences here mirror some of those described by posters in that thread. I've been contacted through pm to be belittled, intimidated and abused.

I respect that the admins. try to allow for a great many voices within this community. It's a difficult balance to maintain, and I do appreciate how challenging that must be.

What I don't understand (and have little tolerance for) is seeing people abused in the proces. I would hope there would be a no tolerance policy for things like that. I'm seeing that is not generally the case, especially as the community grows. I get that everyone has a choice in the matter(to hang around and put up with it or not), but honestly it still bugs me.

I don't expect all progressives to feel, act, think, etc. the same way. I appreciate people's differences--it makes life rich. I try to learn from such diversity and support it.

I do expect people to not go out of their way to treat others shitty. I EXPECT diversity of opinion and beliefs. I don't expect people to be abusive to others about those differences. I'd like to see more respect for others differences, and to not see people belittled, abused and verbally beaten up because they stand up for themselves and their beliefs.

That's my problem with what I see here frequently, including much of what people shared in the thread I link to above.