man, I wish I could monitor dubya's recent phone calls...

[mopaul]

i bet he's a paranoid and angry mutha lately. i bet he says the craziest things on the phone when he's talking to his gang of political terrorists. is there any legal way that we the people could wiretap our own commander in chief? nah, i guess that would qualify as some sort of high treason if it was just plain folks doing it.

but i bet he explodes often, and screams at his cowering underlings demanding that they fix this or spin that and stop making him do so much work. and i bet at 3 a.m. he calls karl in a cold sweat after waking from some horrible dream about prison, and karl has to comfort him and sing him a lullaby to send him back to dreamland.

'karl it's me, the commander in chief, i keep hearing voices that say 'impeach, impeach', and it's startin' ta git ta me'. 'relax mr. president, it'll all be taken care of, nobody has the guts to impeach you, now lullaby and good night, with roses bedight'.

'did you hear that?---that click?--just now, i swear i heard a click'!

[Dogmudgeon]

1. Talk to his disaffected aides

Plenty of them have reported on the tantrums thrown by the Boy-King.

The Press dutifully runs the reports on page 13.

Nobody's perfect, but Bush seems to be a particularly distinguished piece of work.

--p!

[Crazy Dave]

2. I don't think anyone is calling him.

Even in his own party and amongst his so called friends he's being treated like an STD. Members of both houses fear their re-election chances will be jeopardized by having any ties to the White House, many have asked (told) the prez to stay away from their districts and their fund raisers.
I'm sure house republicans are also looking at their caller ID's before answering these days too.

[mopaul]

3. he's a turd in the g.o.p. punchbowl, but, they invited him

now they have to deal with him.

[flordehinojos]

4. any bets that he talks to"the little people"under his bed or inthe corner

of his room whom he sees out of the corner of his eyes and no one else can see?

[mopaul]

5. that's 'us' under his bed

hee hee hee

[PurpleChez]

8. That's after he's had an especially long chat with his old friends

Jim Beam and Jack Daniel. I wonder if * has his beer bong ready for New Years Eve.

[BuyingThyme]

6. I guarantee Cheney has him tapped.

[PurpleChez]

7. I hope that *'s dream are filled with dead and broken soldiers

and Iraqi children, and the corpse-filled streets of New Orleans. He deserves to have absolutely horrific nightmares.

[RC]

10. You have to have a conscience for that to bother you.

He probably needs those images to fulfill his obligations as a husband to Pickles.

[Crazy Dave]

12. Even the people that supported the war....

....have a very negative opinion of Bush whenever he gets on camera and talks about the war all optimistic and giddy and like a broken record saying we still did the right thing.

[PurpleChez]

14. Holy crow! I almost snarfed!

BTW...where does "Pickles" come from? Around our house we just refer to her as a wall-eyed bitch or, in more legalistic moments, a collaborator.

[Vinca]

9. I was wondering if anyone bothered to call and tell him Texas was on fire.

[A Simple Game]

13. Sure, he knows. He sent FEMA.

What do you mean, "they aren't there yet"?

[Hubert Flottz]

11. I wonder if he can wonder?

Wondering requires a least a tiny brain!

For it is written:

"If his mind is prehensile
He'll put down his pencil
And have himself a squat
On the Cosmic Utensil"...FZ