Comparison to Bush Disgusts Signing Chimps

[yurbud]

Comparison to Bush Disgusts Chimps

by Milo Cornelius Science Newswire staff writer

December 13, 2006

(Science Newswire) DES MOINES -- Conservatives howl when anyone compares George W. Bush to Hitler, and the left rolls their eyes when the right compares Bush to Winston Churchill or Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but no one has taken much offense when Bush is compared to a chimp—until now. Chimps who have been taught to communicate with humans have unanimously expressed anger and dismay at being compared with President Bush.

Over the last few decades, researchers have been able to teach primates to communicate with American Sign Language, lexigrams, and computers. Although their vocabulary is rudimentary, it is more than adequate not only for asking for basic needs to be met, but for expressing feelings and opinions.

Their distress was first discovered when a researcher was working on basic math with signing chimp Washoe, and she overheard another scientist refer to Bush as a “chimp faced moron.” She stopped her lesson to sign over and over “bush dirty bad stupid not chimp,” and persisted until the offending person told her that he agreed Bush was not a chimp, and that chimps are not dirty bad and stupid like Bush.

In another case, Lana, a chimp taught to use lexigrams on a computer, asked her trainer to show her pictures of other chimps on the internet. When websites like Smirking Chimp or Bush or Chimp came up instead, Lana gave a distress howl and defecated on her computer viewing stool, which is highly unusual for the otherwise potty trained chimp...

http://professorsmartass.blogspot.com/2006/12/comparison-to-bush-disgusts-chimps.html

[havocmom]

1. SOOO happy to give this the first R

Sometimes I howl and want to defecate when I see the frat brat on the computer.

Edited to add:
Chimps - smarter than freepers? ;)

[NYC]

2. I gave it the fourth,

but it still needs another.

Fascinating article! :)

[havocmom]

6. Seemed too good to be true. I went to snopes and they don't have anything debunking

so, yeah, chimps MUST be smarter than 30% of Americans

[yurbud]

there's only one way to get this on snopes: send it around to your righty friends who send...

those stupid right wing blind news stories like "Did you know 17,000 new schools have been built in Iraq?"

[Webster Green]

3. K&R

This story made my day!

Spread this far and wide

[Lipton64]

4. I wonder if we put a million dubya's wacking away forever at typewriters.....

will we ever get anything intelligent? lol

[yurbud]

7. a million dubya on a million typewriters would probably get you about three letters

[krispos42]

14. You'd get "My Pet Boat" n/t

[yurbud]

18. more like "pBE By otAm" (you're giving him too much credit with intelligible words)

[LiberalFighter]

5. That chimp shouldn't had defecated on her stool

Who knows. The Smirking chimp probably does that all the time when he doesn't get his way.

[koopie57]

29. Actually

I think he does that when one of his hilarious fart jokes go awry.

[GreenPoet64]

8. Bwahahaha n/t

[krispos42]

9. Please correct if I'm wrong, but I don't think this is real

The only reference to a "Milo Cornelius" that I could find was a Wisconsin farmer that died in 1919.

However...

Dr. Milo is a central chimpanze character in the third Planet of the Apes movie entitled Escape from the Planet of the Apes, who is friend and collegues of ape scientists of Dr. Cornelius and Dr. Zira

[yurbud]

11. you know way too much about that movie--do you have a zira fetish? (PIC)

[krispos42]

13. Dammit, she told me that camera was off!!!!!

:rofl:

No, but the story just triggered a little warning signal in my brain, so I poked around a little. Lana is a real chimp, born in 1970, and really can use the lexigram language, and I think she's in Des Moines as well.

But I could not find any "Milo Cornelius" or "Science Newswire", but I got a few hits on Wikipedia, and that's when I found out about Dr. Milo and Dr. Cornelius.

[nicknameless]

10. Oh rats. Satire?

At the Dubuque City Zoo, the primate enclosure was too small for chimp Zena to get out of earshot of Bush jokes, and the humiliation led her to take up smoking.

[yurbud]

12. there have been other cases of smoking chimps. check out this BBC story:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4305600.stm

[nicknameless]

15. I’ve seen film of chimps smoking before,

but something about the way the article was written... I doubted it was real. Overactive BS detector, maybe?

Ai Ai’s story is very sad. They should have, at least, let her daughter stay with her.

[yurbud]

19. they love their bushmeat over there too much to allow that.

[nicknameless]

20. Uh-oh. A double entendre mine field….

:evilgrin:

The daughter was sent to a different zoo.

[Guaranteed]

30. Yeah...I'm pretty sure...

It got more irrational (and funny) as it went on.

I don't think that even signing chimps could understand derogatory references toward Bush, or have an opinion on him.

[yurbud]

16. Don't forget to DIGG it too, so righties might stumble across it (LINK)

http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Comparison_to_Bush_Disgusts_signing_Chimps

[Vexatious Ape]

17. Fantastic, thanks for the laughs.

[Raine]

21. I always knew that

chimps would feel insulted by the comparison, poor litte things compared to that freak. x(

[Lone_Star_Dem]

22. Right at 2.5 hours in LBN

You rock! :thumbsup:

[mirandapriestly]

23. I'm with Lana, lol.eom.

[Gregorian]

24. So, even chimps ARE smarter.

That photograph is priceless! And the fact that this shows up under late breaking news.

What is there to not like about this post!!!


:)


Darnit! I just discovered it's not real. Waaa.

[yurbud]

25. who said it's not real? Remember what Karl Rove said about being history's actors?

There's no reason he should be the only one who does that.

[tavalon]

26. I love Washoe!

Why can't we have Washoe instead of, say, Hannity. Much smarter.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

27. Giraffes run away in fright and baboons attack his car

whenever Bush visits the zoo. They can sense the evil vibes.

[yurbud]

31. yep. Just like the Omen. And his dad was an ambassador once too...

[Lilith Velkor]

28. ooOOoo chimpanzee that, it's monkey news!

Karl Pilkington better check his email...

:spray:

[undeterred]

32. "chimps are not dirty bad and stupid like Bush"

I would like to recommend this thread by pooping on my computer stool.

[Rex]

33. This is a WARNING!

Chimps are getting FED UP with being compared to George Bush! We better stop before they get really mad and rebel!

Planet of the Apes people, let's not go there over George. Of all people!