Nothing funnier than freepers talking about who gets to go to heaven

[Fuzz]

imho

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1587623/posts

[WoodrowFan]

1. details please!

on edit: I went into FR and looked. Now I feel all icky. YUCK. For those not willing to navigate in the FR sewer, all Jews are doomed to go to hell and Jerry Falwell is apparently being to liberal when he says otherwise... :crazy:

[laruemtt]

4. i wonder how they splane that

to their Jesus, who was a Jew. oy vey.

[SmokingJacket]

2. Actually, that was depressing.

They really, really think they're going to heaven and Jews are not... like God would be that petty.

[Arugula Latte]

35. ... or like there really is a sky diety and a "heaven" ...

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

[BOSSHOG]

3. I've been a Philly Fan for 45 years

so there is no way I'm going anywhere but heaven. I truly, honestly and sincerely believe that, praise the legacy of Michael Jack Schmidt.

[bluestateguy]

5. Liberal Jerry Falwell smears Christians!

nt

[aden_nak]

6. Wow. Just wow.

By that rationale, Hitler could have, at the last moment, repented his sins and gotten into Heaven. Albert Einstein, on the other hand, would have gone straight to Hell (not even Purgatory, guys?) solely on the basis of his being Jewish. This is why a lot of people have such a hard time keeping their faith, because of absurd religious beliefs such as this. It has always been the work of man to attribute his most petty and embarrassing flaws to his deities.

[Dr.Phool]

16. By their thinking

serial cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer, who got saved before he was killed in prison, is sitting in heaven right now, and Mahatma Ghandi who had the wrong religion is roasting like a turkey.

[Rocknrule]

7. It's like this wacko I saw on my college campus once

He was holding a sign that said "All Demoncrats, gays, liberals, atheists, Jews, Mormons, pacifists, non-Bush supporters, Muslims, Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses, Hindus, Buddhists, Red Sox fans, etc. are DOOMED to eternal HELLFIRE!"

They really do think that voting for * will get them into heaven

[Fuzz]

13. Reminds me of what a comediam said

Someone in Oklahoma asked him, "So how long you bin practicin' Jewcraft?"

[rkc3]

23. Or Jeff Foxworthy -

You might be... if you think the Presbyterian Church is a cult.

[JohnyCanuck]

8. Should this be considered a step forward or a step backward

from the great theological debates of the Middle Ages, like trying to decide how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

[northzax]

9. sorry, Jews aren't going to heaven

if you haven't accepted the sacrament, then you aren't going to heaven.

of course, that means you don't have to spend eternity with a bunch of bible thumpers, so it sure sounds like a good thing to me.

remember, the FReepers are going to heaven. do you really want to go there as well?

[JohnyCanuck]

15. That's what I tell myself everytime I see

the self-righteous blowhards expounding their theology and begging for money on the tube. If you and your types are typical of who I'll be hanging out with for eternity in heaven, then I think I'll take a pass.

[converted_democrat]

33. Well,

"remember, the FReepers are going to heaven. do you really want to go there as well?"

I've never thought of it from that angle, you do make a good point..

[northzax]

36. it is what allows me to sin in peace

knowing I won't have to spend eternity with those assholes...

[Epiphany4z]

10. See now

this is what nice about being an anthiest...no heaven....and no hell...one less thing to worry about....by the way...what are all these hand baskets for?? lol

ok ok one more....I do have one problem when it comes to not believing in a hell....if there is no hell then where did my mother in law come from?? hmmm hmm...

[TahitiNut]

11. They're misinformed. They'll be in "Heavin'" ... not Heaven.

"Heavin'" is the region of Hell where people are condemned to puke and vomit throughout Eternity - usually due to what they swallowed during their lives.

[sharp_stick]

12. If that's the true version of heavan

who in their right mind would want to spend any time there. Good God, it sounds like the most horrendous hell I can imagine, being cooped up with a bunch of fucking freepers for all eternity.

[Epiphany4z]

17. LOL

good point...heaven is full of fundamentalist christian republicans...good gawd can there be a better definition of hell?

[Obamarama]

14. Oh good FUCKING grief. As a Jew, I am insulted....

I do NOT need evangelical Christian brimstone and fire bible thumpers giving me advice on where they think I should or should not be able to "go" in the afterlife.

[salinen]

18. As a Jew

I'm really glad I'm not going to heaven. Not with those A-holes.

[formerrepuke]

19. Won't they be surprised when Buddha tells them how wrong they were.

[peacetalksforall]

20. I think I was about 11 when I heard for the xx number of times that only

baptized people got to go to heaven. I don't know why, but I locked on to the idea that a little kid my age of Indian faith on that day or before conversions by the French and Spanish explorers and conquerors could die and not be able to go to heaven. I said something is wrong here.

[FreedomAngel82]

21. Oh brother

I didn't know they were God. "Not everyone who says 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven."~ Jesus

[Yollam]

22. But if they go through me...

they can get into the mystical eternal chuck e. cheese heaven.

Way more fun than the harps n' clouds version.



It is pretty hilarious, grown men talking about fairy tales with straight faces as though they had any basis in reality...

[mikeytherat]

25. Eternal skeeball and whack-a-mole?

Sign me up!

mikey_the_rat

[kineneb]

32. only if it has really good classical music,

like Bach and Mozart, and not disgusting, smarmy "christian" rock. I want to go to Good Music Heaven, and hang out with Beethoven and the others...multiple choirs of angels performing G. Gabrieli's works...yeah!

[sinkingfeeling]

24. I just want to end up with all my dogs....where ever they may be.

[genie_weenie]

26. Rowan Atkinson said it best

"Okay, and Christians! Christians? Ah yes, I'm sorry, I'm afraid the Jews were right."

http://www.rowanatkinson.org/devil_sketch.htm

[Rocknrule]

28. Like that South Park

"Who was right? Who gets into heaven?"
"I'm afraid it was the MORMONS, yes, the MORMONS were the correct answer."

[greenman3610]

27. falwell= total whore= Rev Moon buttboy(pic)

real pic.
Falwell took a bunch of money from Moon a few years back.
some fucking Christian

[MellowOne]

29. God takes to heaven who He wants to take...period. n/t

[0rganism]

30. The REAL heaven has a beer volcano

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[Jacobin]

31. Their fixation on an afterlife is pretty funny

Its what religion has used as 'candy' to enslave billions who can't stand the thought of dying for thousands of years.

[Maiden England]

34. I guaran-fucking-tee you my heaven will NOT include freeptards

If it did, ergo, it would be hell. As a Jew I don't believe in the concept of a hell, thats purely a Christian notion and they are welcome to it.