I'm so F&%#ing confused

[MichaelHarris]

I'm sitting in my house waiting for UPS to deliver my new light meter, I hear a creak at the door. Wooo Hooo I say to myself, the dog barks and I run upstairs with the sound of crinkly bubble wrap in my hands. What's this? No light meter but a bag with a Avon catalog in it. Dejected but with the contentment that maybe some lip gloss is in order I open it. Stapled to the cover is a business card saying, "AN ARMY OF ONE". It's a recruiters business card stapled to an Avon catalog. Now I have a decision to make, do I need lip gloss or do I need to join up and kill people?

I really don't need this turmoil, if it had been tupperware then I surely would have joined up for some cookie sheets. I'm not sure the Avon crowd is ready to replace our missing Guardsmen. First they go after our children and now they want our Mom's, the bastards.

[kiraboo]

1. That's freaking hilarious. And just plain freaky.

No doubt you have an Avon rep who is also related to a soldier or recruiter. God help him or her.

[MichaelHarris]

2. I thought that but

it has another card with an email address, cptncoke@*******.net. Either this person is a Captain or Avon uses military titles.

[onethatcares]

9. cptncoke????

sheesh, a drug dealing, avon selling military recruiter. I heard it was hard to make it on a military salary, but to have to have 3 jobs??? Unheard of. :crazy:

[daleanime]

16. "High" light of my day!

:woohoo:

[MichaelHarris]

18. I would post the guys name on the business card

but he may get his recruiter buddies and beat me up. My truck is in the driveway with a Kerry and a DU sticker. I'm actually suprised they haven't burned me out already.

[tanyev]

3. Just wait until you have a run-in with a Mary Kay Commando.

[MichaelHarris]

5. They're

Delta Force right?

[gimama]

11. LOL!!! ever see their pink semi's at texas truck stops??

I wouldn't mess with'em

[MichaelHarris]

15. prolly full of

pink Humvee's

[CrazyOrangeCat]

4. further, further down the rabbit hole . . .

[MichaelHarris]

7. This Avon salesman could be

one of those "Don't ask Don't Tell" ones huh? Either that he has his wife out pimping Avon and death.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

12. Truly, truly surreal. n/t

[sheelz]

6. They could at least give out a box of

tissue and some Prozac! Idiots!

[MichaelHarris]

8. Wonder if Avon

has some of those pretty good Government contracts in Iraq?

[sheelz]

17. I recall they donate 100% to Bush n Bastards campaigns

[MichaelHarris]

20. yeah but

do they get to recruit our Mom's and Grandma's? Come on man, our Grandma's!

[sheelz]

24. Yep!

They want kids, not billy goats but real kids. So they soften them up by giving out lip balm. Get sum talkin ya no!

[Sabriel]

10. Try their "Skin So Soft and Deadly" lotion

It works for me. Alleviates dry skin and terrorist problems.

[MichaelHarris]

13. hahahahahahahahaha

Skin so Soft, your first line of defense against Anthrax.

[CrazyOrangeCat]

14. Heeheehee!

:spray:

[murray hill farm]

19. i used to use skin so soft...

but one day i used it with a plastic nail brush to clean my finger nails....it worked well, but in just one day, the plastic nail brush basically disolved and fell apart. So, i dont touch that stuff now.

[MichaelHarris]

21. I think with every 5 bottles of Skin so Soft

you get a Claymore mine. That's a pretty good deal in anyone's book.

[kiraboo]

25. I used it to repel blackflies here in Maine.

It works very well but you have to keep reapplying it. I guess I'm lucky I still have skin.

[PassingThrough]

22. Nothing says you can not look good while killing.

[MichaelHarris]

23. HAHAHhahahahaha now that's funny

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