Two fundies just rang my doorbell and tried to convert me

[BattyDem]

I live in a blue city and state. Damn ... they're everywhere!

The one guy introduced himself and started to go into his spiel and I politely interrupted and said, "I'm sorry. I'm very happy with my own beliefs."

He then asked if I had ever spoken to anyone from their church before and I said, "No ... but I have no interest in exploring another religion at this point in my life."

He continued to try to engage me in conversation, but I simply said, "Have a nice day" as I closed the door. :-)

[Midlodemocrat]

1. I don't open the door.

I had a glass door installed to avoid this very situation. Although yesterday, my FIL opened the door to two Jehovah's Witnesses. :eyes:

[BlueEyedSon]

4. "Hey, I didn't even see the accident!"

[FreedomAngel82]

5. We don't do that either

[FreedomAngel82]

2. If someone says no you shouldn't pressure

There are churches everywhere here in my town so I'm sure others are the same. Plus there's the internet and things like that so I don't see the need to bother people. If you want to go out just put something in the mailbox or whatever. That's better than interrupting someone's day.

[niyad]

19. it's illegal to use mailboxes for things like that, you know.

[FreedomAngel82]

34. So why do I see people put hangers on the mailbox of advertisements?

Know what I mean?

[CottonBear]

58. You may be able to hang something on a mailbox but not put anything in one

In my neighborhood, advertisements, etc. a hung on the front doorknob.

[Ilsa]

86. "I can't take a piss in the woods on a hike without hitting a church." eom

[Norquist Nemesis]

3. Which church/religion?

[RebelOne]

6. Gotta be Baptists. They're always canvassing in my neighborhood.

[WI_DEM]

Jehovah Witnesses are known for going door to door.

[BattyDem]

13. They were Mormons!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Boy, are THEY in the wrong neighborhood ... LOL!


On edit: The little bit I heard of the spiel sounded exactly like typical fundie - the usual stuff ... "Welcome Jesus Christ into your life and you will be saved" ... yada, yada, yada. Apparently, the Mormons don't have their own personalized speech.

[Norquist Nemesis]

20. LOL! I remember them

When we lived in the central part of the state, they'ld come out every spring. At first, we'd shush everyone and hide behind the curtains till they went away. After a few years, I'd open the door and say, "We're Catholic" then close the door.

oh...I'm not Catholic but hubby is. :)

[SPKrazy]

64. Good For You

Next Time Just stare at them and don't speak, then close the door in their face.

[kestrel91316]

66. They try to hide all the weird Mormon stuff in the beginning til they

get you hooked and then they come back again and again, going a bit farther each time. Eventually the poor sucker figures out which church he's dealing with and how weird they are, but by then he's brainwashed.

Just my humble opinion.........

[thinkingwoman]

81. are you kidding? The Mormons wrote the speech

everyone else has copied it from them.

And they don't care about the neighborhood. They take a map and swarm the area.

[Booster]

7. I don't answer the door either - it's a waste of my time and theirs.

I accidentally opened the door the other day to a gentleman, who I didn't know, from my church. I haven't gone to church in 35 years, so I told him I wasn't home and would be gone for a year. ha

[Tamyrlin79]

8. damn... I wouldn't have shut the door in their face.

I would have invited them in for tea and crumpets and tried to convert them and have an argument. All they would have gotten from me was a full stomach and arguments their beliefs have difficulty contending with. It'd be my way of virally injecting enlightenment ideas into their membership.

I've always wanted to do that, but unfortunately, the one time I had such persons stop by my house, I had to be in class (I was in school then...) in like 15 minutes, so I wasn't able to stay and chat.

[acmavm]

23. I have done that twice. One time serving dutch apple pie to the two

young and thoroughly likable and sincere young men.

Was a long bad day, I was cranky, and needed someone to argue with.

[BattyDem]

24. Well, at least I opened the door ...

I didn't want to be completely rude because they had done nothing to warrant it. But no ... I wouldn't invite them in. I don't have that much patience, LOL! As I closed the door, I heard the bell ring in my landlord's apartment. He worked the night shift, so he was probably sleeping. He must have been thrilled!

[dweller]

9. couldn't be the same two that came here last week...

i haven't untied them and let them go yet.


dp

[Fridays Child]

10. I'd invite them in to watch "The God Who Wasn't There."

[coalition_unwilling]

43. I'd offer to read the Bible if they'd agree to read

Das Kapital.

[Fridays Child]

47. LOL! And If they would promise not to pray in my school...

...I'd promise not to think in their church. :)

[coalition_unwilling]

53. Actually, the Marx of the Communist Manifest (1848) summons

up apocalyptic Christian imagery and even Das Kapital has some passages that read very close to Christian theology, so there might even be a meeting of the minds.

[Hobarticus]

11. I used to have a Jehovah's Witness elderly man come by my old apartment...

I told him I was Catholic, and was content withmy faith, and he asked if I wouldn't mind listening to his testimony. I said sure; he was such a kind, gentlemanly man that I didn't mind giving him a few minutes of my day. He thought he was getting into heaven by doing so, so what the heck.

He always had a carful of other elderly people parked behind him, waiting for him. I liked the guy.

A fundie, on the other hand....yech. I couldn't take that.

[spuddonna]

30. There was a lady(JW) that would come through our neighborhood in Boston...

She was so sweet, and I said bascially the same thing, I'm happy the way I am, but I know you need to spread your word, so feel free to come back and say hi. She'd drop off that week's WatchTower and I'd scan it then send it to the trash, but it always got my kids talking about religion, so I never thought of it as a bad thing.

She came by for about once a month for a year before we moved. We'd have 5 -10min. discussions sometimes on the front stoop, and she was always very respectful of my time and opinions. She never tried to get in my house, never told me I was 'doomed', and always had some teens or older folks that were with her, 'learning the ropes' I guess.

But we had a Fundie come to our door last year - holy cow! His opening line was "Can I come in and talk to you about the hellfire that awaits you and this nation if you do not accept Christ!" Uh, no and BY-BYE! lol

[BattyDem]

32. What kind of opening line is that?!

:rofl:

Do people actually say, "Sure, come on in! I'd love to hear about the hellfire!" :crazy:

On edit: I thought the Mormons telling me I needed to be saved was a bit much ... and they never mentioned hellfire!

[spuddonna]

39. LOL Oh, it was sad...

And the funniest thing was, the guy had a 'handler' some younger lady in the background, and when she heard his opening line she smacked her forehead like "DOH! Here we go again!" I can imagine her trying to coach him: "Now, Jim, don't go into the hellfire till we git to the kitchen, understand?!" lol

Crazy stuff... I have to say though the freakiest person to my door for a loooong time was the guy who came last month (February) from Trulawn (Chemlawn? something like that) who was telling me that my lawn needed his service. "You're going to lose the entire lawn! See those dead patches over there?"

I'm standing there telling him I'm not interested, he's handing me flyers for what 'treatments' the lawn needs, and all I can keep thinking is, ITS WINTER, YOU FREAK!!!! GO AWAY! lol

[Hobarticus]

44. Do we, like, live in the same town?

We both have cute little JW's stopping by, and overly-aggressive lawn guys.

My lawn guy is working me over, since last year. I think they are independent contractors, so it's sink or swim for them.

[spuddonna]

51. :) Probably not, I'm west coast now... my JW lady friend was Boston

We've moved so many times my head hurts! :)

But yeah I agree, the lawn guy probably is independent. I've seen him before treating some neighbor's lawns in the summer. He must be hurting if he's out in February... I didn't think about it that way...

[Ouabache]

71. You should have told him you couldn't afford the gas to mow it

now anyway, since Bush has been president, so it might as well die.

I knew a suburban minister once who wrote a book titled, Does God Use Chemlawn ? I don't know if he ever got it published, but it was a tongue in cheek jab, I think, at some of his own parishoners. To get them thinking.

[spuddonna]

72. lol Yeah, lucky I have a small lawn!

But I wouldn't use that Chemlawn stuff anyhow. I have allergies and asthma and they are both worse when they spray that stuff. I end up closing the house up when they come to the neighborhood.

"Does God Use Chemlawn"? lol That sounds like a good book! Trying to get parishoners thinking though? That sounds dangerous! :evilgrin:

[Hobarticus]

40. And for my next number...

Holy cats! Who the hell would respond postively to that?

"Can I tell you about the intense pain that awaits you if my dog gnaws off your scrotum"?

[spuddonna]

46. LOL! Yeah, I think he was 'new'...

His handler was not impressed! My hubby was home and we both watched her shoo him back to the car... "Bad apostle! Into the car with you!" lol

[Art_from_Ark]

70. Maybe I could help them out

and finally put to use the invaluable experience I gained as a 13-year-old selling band candy door-to-door:

Me: You don't want to buy any band candy, do you?

Lady at door: Probably not, but what do you have?

Me: Well, I've got some, um, circus peanuts, and some, whatever they call it, oh, candy corn...

Lady at door: Have you tried any of that yourself?

Me: Oh, yeah, I had some of that candy corn-- tasted like it was some of the unsold stuff from last year. And the circus peanuts, well, to be honest, they made me spill my cookies...

Lady at door: Thank you, have a good night (as she closes the door)

[spuddonna]

73. LMAO!!!!

They made you sell circus peanuts and candy corn???!! Those are two of the worst candies in the world!!! LOL!! Not fair!! :)

I would have given you money for being honest and bought a box to toss to the raccoons... Hmm, wonder if circus peanuts are bad for raccoons? lol

[Art_from_Ark]

77. That's not the worst of it

This was a Halloween candy sales drive, and there was some sort of competition to see who could sell the most candy (the winner got some sort of chintzy prize). I was in the group that was given the unenviable task of trying to sell those circus peanuts (I gag even now thinking about them) and candy corn (gag again), that were all stuck together in their bags. Meanwhile, other groups got to sell bags of mini M&Ms bags and mini Snickers bars. Guess who won? Guess who thought they had a chance of winning? Guess who got to spend the rest of the night in the car while the other members of his group tried to foist their bags of rancid junk on unsuspecting neighbors?

I don't think that even raccoons would have touched that crap! :puke:

[spuddonna]

96. Awww!!

That's so unfair! I hate fund raisers even now because of those 'prize' deals...

And you're right... the raccoons probably would have sniffed it, and then buried it! :D

[coalition_unwilling]

50. Altho I'm atheist, I have a lot of respect for JW, as they are the

only Christian faith who went en masse to Hitler's concentration camps for refusing to swear allegiance to der Fuhrer.

[spuddonna]

75. Whoa, really?

That makes sense... but I had no idea. Thanks for the info! :hi:

ETA: I just found an interesting read on wiki if anyone wants to look for themselves:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah%27s_Witnesses_and_the_Holocaust#In_Nazi_Germany_.281933-1945.29

[JNelson6563]

79. Not so sure I respect that

They are so brainwashed they revel in "persecution", they think it "proves" they are "Jehovah's chosen people", the .01% of humanity who will survive Armageddon and rule the world. They think they are no part "of this world" and will shun one of their own for voting or getting blood transfusion. Yet the leaders of their "religion" (a.k.a Watchtower Corp.) filed a brief with SCOTUS on behalf of Jimmy Swaggart when good ol' Jimmy was trying to produce and sell tapes and books etc. tax free.

It's always been a "snare and a racket" (as one of their founders described organized religion). They are poor, brainwashed cultists.

Julie

[leftofthedial]

12. "Come in! Come in!"

"We were just about to slaughter the goat!"

"You'll have to take those clothes off first though!"

[neweurope]

35. Now that's priceless, and I'll borrow it, if may.

:rofl:


----------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

14. My son in law has a T-shirt

that says,

"Teach Your Children to Love Satan"

He puts that on and answers the door. Well, he actually only did it once. He knew the Mormons were in then neighborhood so he got ready. We really don't have many people evangelizing around here.

[BattyDem]

29. We don't get people evangelizing around here, either.

That's what surprised me. I think the last time someone rang my doorbell was about 6 or 7 years ago - it was a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses. Two ladies ... a bit pushy. :eyes:

[gauguin57]

15. They keep accosting me when I go to feed the ducks in my local park.

Cannot. Get. Away. From. Them.

But for me, it's karma. I was sort of a Jesus freak in high school, and I used to "witness" to people, myself. So, since I've grown up and wised up, they follow me everywhere.

*sigh*

I love telling them I just cannot believe the benevolent God I worship would allow the BILLIONS of non-Christians in the world to burn in hell just because they don't happen to access God through Jesus. Drives them nuts.

[bluerum]

18. Pssssst - we just tell 'em that to scare them! eom

[Radical Activist]

38. accosting?

Did they grab your ass or are you just being melodramatic?

[shaniqua6392]

16. I have a big german shepherd....

and as soon as I see them coming I start to talk to the dog saying, "Who's there?" "Get em'!" By the time they reach my front door she is foaming at the mouth barking and growling. 99.9% of the time they change their minds and never even knock! It is absolutely hilarious. Great family fun for all!

[RebelOne]

25. I have a big Rottweiler and when they see her standing

at the front window, they just bypass my house.

[BattyDem]

26. I have a miniature poodle, so I'm screwed ... LOL!

:D

[shaniqua6392]

60. Too funny!

BTW I love Rotties too.

[FlaGranny]

89. When people come to my door

my dog always barks to alert me and if I open the door just wide enough she'll try to get out. They don't know she only wants to greet them. If I really want to scare whoever's at the door, I signal her to bark some more, grab her collar (looking like I'm trying to prevent bodily harm) and open the door just a tad. We have a whole routine worked out. Of course, if it's someone I want to see, I just have her sit and wait at the door and be nice. She's not a big dog, but big enough.

[bluerum]

17. My they are becoming bold. It's like black fly season in Maine. eom

[Norquist Nemesis]

21. Nah. Mormons have been doing it for years. n/t

[pitohui]

22. sheesh mormons out in force around here lately

i'm like i don't even talk to them, hell, i don't even open the door, just tell em i'm busy through the glass

if they want to convert somebody, go help habitat for humanity or one of the churches build a damn house for somebody in this community, in all fairness, some mormons ARE chipping in, so what is the deal w. the ones who are still just jaw-boning when there is real work to be done, are they tbe rich mormons kids who don't have to work or something

[ClayZ]

27. Hang Prayer Flags on your porch!

It scares them!

[BattyDem]

28. Those look cool. What religion are they associated with?

:-)

edited: typo :blush:

[hunter]

37. Tibetan Buddhism mostly.

In our house it's all the crosses and naked statuary that freaks 'em out.

[ClayZ]

48. Tibetan Buddhist Prayer Flags

http://www.prayerflags.com/

World Peace Flag translation:

"At this very moment for the people and the nations of the earth may not even the words - disease, famine, war and suffering be heard; but rather may their moral conduct, merit, wealth and prosperity increase and may supreme good fortune and well being always arise for them."

This beautiful prayer, written by HH Dudjom Rinpoche, is shown in Tibetan and in English on this flag dedicated to world peace.

[mahina]

31. I love talking to them. I tell them ok, you have 5 minutes of my time,

and I will talk with you for 5 minutes about politics. You go first.

It is GREAT! They listen to me talk about Christianity and the current admin's policy, how as Christians, to allow the repub agenda we are lying down on the job and failing to follow Jesus's explicit directions. I tell them about the dead Iraqis, our military exposed to DU and no support when they get home,cutting funds to the VA, cutting funds to the poor etc. It feels great, I highly reccomend it. They do listen and they hear ideas they have never considered before.

One by one baby. In fact we should be doing what they are doing, going door to door. Till I find the time to do that I'll just work with the ones that come to my house :)

[neweurope]

36. That's the best that has been said on this thread.

I DID like "Come in, we're just slaughtering the goat, but of course you have to take off those clothes".
But what you are doing is great :)

----------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[spuddonna]

41. That's an AWESOME idea!!!

I like that! I'm gonna try that with the salespeople, too! :)

Thanks for the idea! :D

[stopbush]

33. My standard reply when I answer the door is, "If you're here to tell me

about the god who had twelve followers with whom he had shared a last sacramental meal, who sacrificed himself to redeem mankind, who descended into the underworld, conquered death and rose to life again on the third day, who was called ‘the Truth,’ ‘the Light,’ and ‘the Good Shepherd,’ who healed the sick and worked miracles, then, no thanks...I already know all about Mithras."

[RebelOne]

52. Love it. I'll have to remember that if they knock on my door.

[blm]

42. Take the opportunity to ask them why their movement was funded by RevMoon

who backed Tim LaHaye and the whole Left Behind idea for years to help them control their followers.

[bunkerbuster1]

45. I got some welcome-wagon brownies once.

A few weeks after we'd moved in, a local church (Baptist? not even sure now) sent a nice couple over with a plateful of brownies.

Nice, low-key, I talked a bit about my own family's faith and we all knew that it wasn't going to be real compatible with their church.

And yeah, we ate the brownies, no ill effects that I'm aware of four years later.

Other than that, I can't remember anyone else hittin' us up for Jesus.

[Jara sang]

49. They always send old ladies to my place.

They think that people are less inclined to slam the door in there faces. They are wrong.

[lonestarnot]

54. I have a fart machine inside my mail slot just for them!

[hyphenate]

55. I used to live a couple of blocks (many years ago!)

away from Hollywood Blvd and Highland. I remember some of my friends were Mormons, and they were pretty nice people. They never preached to me, so it didn't matter. I had no religious commitment at the time, either, so I didn't view them in a negative way. There were also some gay friends (many lived in the neighborhood as well) and the lifestyle was a little bit eclectic. It certainly wasn't your normal, mid-USA existence.

For kicks on Friday nights, I would go with a friend down Hollywood Blvd and window shop, because we were pretty poor then. We had to walk past the Scientology Center every time, and all the Jesus Freaks who hung around on the Blvd most of the time. (This was in 1980)

One night we went cruising thusly, and I had a massive migraine, so I wasn't that good of company. It was then that one guy yelled out as we breezed past him, "Jesus loves you!" I said, without thinking, "Not tonight--I have a headache!" My friend broke down in hysterics, thinking it was one of the funniest things she had ever heard. I didn't think my headache was very funny, but after awhile, I smiled, thinking I might have just turned down Jesus for something more than an after dinner cocktail. :)

[hunter]

56. Oh my... I remember that neighborhood in 1980.

No, it certainly wasn't your normal, mid-USA existence.

[hyphenate]

62. Ha! It was one of those jaw-dropping places

where the best thing to eat was usually the ubiquitous pizza joints on every other street corner, where Frederick's of Hollywood was still a major contributor to the neighborhood as far as strange thrills (and LONG before Victoria's Secret!), where C.C. Brown's and Swensen's were still THE ice cream spots to go, and Grauman's Chinese Theatre was still Grauman's!

It was always good for a laugh to take people on their first visit to the area and see gum and other detritus on the stars on the Walk of Fame, and to take them into the International Love Boutique with the acrobatic statue of a woman right in the front of the store. :rofl:

[hunter]

63. Sometimes a smell brings back memories.

Not often anymore. Cars and busses are a lot cleaner now, and cheap perfumes... what do I want to say... less fruitier?

[hyphenate]

69. It's been quite some time since I was down there

I think it was like 1998 or 1999. Parking became a bear to get around there. I used to love going to Hollywood Book and Poster when they were on Las Palmas, but they moved out from their old digs and relocated down to off-Sunset somewhere.

I moved back to Massachusetts in 2003, though--for the second time. I came back in 1981 and stayed back in Boston for 7 years before moving back to L.A. for another 15 years. I guess I am truly bi-coastal! I don't think I want to go back to live there anymore, though. My home is New England, and while you can take me out of NE, you can't take New England out of me!

[onager]

84. Ack, you two! I lived on Carlton Way!

Between Sunset and Hollywood Blvd., just a little east of Western Ave. And just about the same time you are talking about.

Never a dull moment!

:hi:

[hyphenate]

94. Well, this sure is a small world sometimes!

I look at pictures on occasion and am shocked to see how so much has changed. When I was there, we had a neighborhood association and a sort of "family" community. You don't live in that kind of neighborhood for long without embracing some really interesting points of view. I know some people who would likely go into a catatonic state after a couple of days!

My roommate and I lived in a guesthouse right below Sunset. The doctor who owned the properties had his office right at 6634 Sunset, which, from observation several years later revealed his office was gone and some big business took over and rebuilt.

There was this church across the street on Sunset where we would go on occasion to play bingo. And there was a Spiritualist church a couple of blocks away where we used to go once in awhile. I was pretty deep into reading Tarot cards at the time (which I still do but not as much or as often!). We'd go down to CBS on Beverly Blvd for alternate Friday night entertainment, where we could get free tickets for audiences of whatever was filming at the time. We didn't have a car, but it really didn't make a difference, because in Hollywood, you didn't need one--the bus system was pretty good.

Those were interesting times. I don't think I would be completely comfortable there anymore, though--too many yuppies in the early 80s came in and destroyed the ambience too much. It just isn't "homey" any more.

[MurrayDelph]

57. There are two churches on my block. We get a lot of "visitors"

The one Sunday I left my car out front (because of remodeling), it was keyed. It was also the first time I had put my T-Rex emblem on my car.



My wife once chased a few of them off our lot waving her cane at them.

Yet, she won't let me put my "No Bible Thumpers" placard in the window.



At my previous home, the next-door neighbor (who had exchanged his addiction to alcohol with one for Jesus) tried to sound me out. After informing him of where all of the most-popular traditions were co-opted from, he never tried again.

We have a Boondocks cartoon on our fridge, where Grandpa asks the person if he is a Jehovah's Witness, as he (Grandpa) belongs to the "Jehovah's Witness Protection Program"

[Mythsaje]

59. Fundies don't come to my door...

Dogs, y'know. My Pom doesn't like strangers and our big dog doesn't like men, particularly men who look as though they may be wearing a uniform.

:D

[maveric]

61. I'm blunt with them. Just tell them NO! And dont come back! SLAM! n/t

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

65. I Love When They Come To My Door. I Generally Don't Let Them

leave for at least an hour. By the time I'm done giving them my take on spirituality and religion they leave thinking I'm some sort of prophet LOL I love engaging with them on the deep level of spirituality and divinity. But the ones that I've come across are always mormons and have always been polite and eager to learn. I have heard stories, however, where some were confronted with preaching fundies that were far more demanding and unwilling to listen to anything other than their own statements. Had I run into them, things would've gone far differently LOL

[DanCa]

67. That's why I have a 173lb neopolitan mastiff guarding my door.

On the down side she also makes life a living hell for the pizza delivery person every time they ring the door bell too.

[Swamp Rat]

68. You were nice...

... me, I tend to take the opportunity to have some fun. :D

[specimenfred1984]

74. Ask Them to Sign a Petition Next Time

A petition to make "The Exorcist" the national movie for the whole United States!

They'll get scared and never bother you again.

[Rosco T.]

76. Once, many years ago...

.. my brother and I were cutting up a side of beef in the kitchen (call me weird, we did it ourselves to make the cuts WE liked) and his kids (4 and 5) were playing in the front room.

Here I am, elbow deep in a cow, blood all over my shirt and hands, wielding my Guisu style butcher-knife.

Then, the doorbell rings.

I go to get it, Jason (the 4 year old) is running around like an idiot getting in the way, so I reach down
to grab him and he rolls around like a kid is like to do, so I grabbed him by an ankle (a game of ours) and
held him, and I opened the door..

so there I stand, bloody shirt, bloody knife in one hand and a squirming, squalling (laughing) 4-year-old
being held in mid-air by an ankle....

and there stood two mormon missionaries...

for about 30 seconds....

then they took off RUNNING AT TOP SPEED.

Fortunately the local cops knew us and we ALL had a good laugh.

[marions ghost]

88. great story!

:rofl:

--thought they'd knocked at Jeffrey Dahmer's door at dinnertime...

[spuddonna]

97. LOL!!!

I gotta get my hubby to read this one!!

That's hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!! :D

[B Calm]

78. Next time ask them if they vote anti choice

[salin]

80. Response:

"I believe that the world would be a better place if those professing to believe in Christ actually tried to live according to his teachings, rather than simply viewing him as a one-dimensional ticket to heaven. I believe that this selfish view of Christ is interesting, as it strips away all of his teachings and turns him into a one-dimensional idol and that this selfish view of Christ is a wierd sort of idolotry that seems to break the ten commandments - and that - I believe - is a great example of irony."

[marions ghost]

82. Just NOW

had a Jehovahs Witness couple show up, was not in a good mood (having had two other solicitors in the last two days, not to mention the constant telemarketers)...however I always ask them to identify themselves and their church as we have had snoopers posing as evangelists before. When they said they were going to every single house in the neighborhood, my SO (who is known for caustic one-liners) said "well you better get going then, if you've got all that ground to cover." Anyway I was feeling guilty for not being so polite to this cute older couple, but then came back to DU and found this topic going....what is this, Spring Pre-Easter Proselytizing ?

:rofl: thanks, I feel better

[icymist]

83. When I was living in Central Illinois....

One of my roommates looked like a Hari-Krishna, with the shaved head, but long hair in the back. Two Mormons came walking past my hearse parked in my driveway, both wearing black suits. My roommate says, "Hey Mormons!" and then went skipping by them saying "Want to buy a pencil?"

That got rid of them.

[Ilsa]

85. Security experts say: Someone who won't take "NO" for

an answer is trying to control you.

I think your response was perfectly polite, BattyDem.

[knitter4democracy]

87. I always find out which church they're from.

Then, I call their pastor up and ask him why he's got people in his church wasting their time on the least effective mission technique in the book. Usually, the idiot starts quoting St. Paul and how he said to go door to door, and then I ask him if St. Paul would do that today, with our entirely different culture and technology issues. After he rants for a bit, usually asking me if I believe the Bible literally, I ask him again why he's wasting God's resources and tell him to pray on that.

I love to mess with them. ;)

As for the poor saps going door to door, I tell them I'm a Christian and that they shouldn't waste their hard-earned time and money on me and only take a flyer so I can call their pastor.

[kevinbgoode]

90. I consider that solicitation harassment

Adult citizens not only have the right to choose their own means of worship, but to expect these people to respect those choices.

[helderheid]

91. If I say I'm a Buddhist, they stop talking and turn tail and run as fast

as they can. I guess it just doesn't compute.

[Rhythm]

92. Fun with Fundies...

When i bought my house in NC (14 yrs ago, and mine no more), we were 'visited' by folks from every church in the rural area... but just once.

We were always nice, and invited them in to chat and such, but they never stayed long.

O8)

Might have had something to do with the 6' stone gargoyles at the door... or our wolf-hybrid... or the assortment of swords mounted to the walls of living room... or it could have been that skull on the mantlepiece (from a dusty old antique shop in Maine).

:evilgrin:

[Seedersandleechers]

93. Answer the door naked...

My BF does it every time-and it works...teeheee

[Warren DeMontague]

95. Get one of these: Mine works GREAT!

http://www.rof.com/no_preaching.htm

[Faygo Kid]

98. Right winged and closed mind. You need to read this.

Never ever mentioned by your visitors. Matters nothing. Read this. The Sermon on the Mount.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall possess the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are they who suffer persecution for justice sake,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.