Women Only Poll: Do You Carry Mace (Pepper Spray)?

[ThomWV]

Poll question: Women Only Poll: Do You Carry Mace (Pepper Spray)?

Women only, do you carry one of those self-defense pepper spray. I ask because my wife gave her's to our son's girlfriend the other day. The reason was some asshole grabbed the girl's ass and made some lewd comment while she was standing in line at the grocery store. She froze, paid, and left. Not the right reaction to be sure, but one that I suspect is repeated daily around the country.

So, to the women, do you carry this inexpensive (typically about $10 each), nonlethal, self protection device?

[Echo In Light]

1. My wife carries pepper spray, and would seriously fight back if confronted

[ThomWV]

2. I've decided to buy as many as I can and give them away to women we know.

And if I could afford more I would buy more.

[orleans]

69. so now they can pepper spray some guy in the grocery store?

i don't know--sounds a bit over the top.

yelling to get your hands the hell off me and then tell someone to call the manager, and then tell the manager you want them to call the police and file a complaint would probably suffice.

i doubt you need to take out some guy w/pepper spray for grabbing your ass (be you male or female)

[Tesha]

77. Over-reaction; it's the American way.

Then, when maced, some small but non-zero portion of the
men will pull out their handgun and shoot dead the macer.

Tesha

[Fleshdancer]

3. I use to....

but some asshole actually stole the canister from the carrying case that was attached to my key chain at a party. Who does that? I keep forgetting to replace it.

[seabeyond]

4. my niece at 12 and her friend with an adult female friend in restaurant

one of the waiters, 40ish, leaned into her and rubbed his crotch on her. my friend saw. niece went into a deer in headlights. when i found out later i asked if anything was said. friend and niece said was turning dark, they were afraid to walk into lot if they said anything to waiter. pissed me off so. i went into a yell with all three, dont keep fuckin mouth shut, shout it angry, mad and aggressively get your fuckin crotch off my 12 yr old niece..... look in the eye. the guy would get oh so itsy teeney weeney and maybe think twice doing it to another girl. they go after the timid. keeping mouth shut is the worse. i hate that girls and women chose to couwar.....

[supernova]

5. Exactly right, seabeyond

That's the way to handle it, especially if you are in a crowded place. You're the not one who should be ashamed. Pointing out the behavior, LOUDLY, really makes them shrivel.

;-)

If I'm alone, I have keys to jab in the eye and feet and legs to kick.

[ThomWV]

9. I agree - in a public place start yelling

Had I been here I would not have sprayed the guy, but my "suggestion" to her was that she immediately turn around, scream, point at the guy, and yell as loud as she could, "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME YOU FUCKING PERVERT ... HELP!". The store was crowded with the predinner last minute rush, big store in a medium size country town, lots of people there. Something certainly would have happened.

[seabeyond]

14. my friend making all kinds of excuses. couldnt say anything to manager, didnt think woman

would do anything. didnt want to walk out in parking lot. i told her and the girls, IF so afraid, any one of those men sitting with family would have been more than happy to walk out to car with them for safety. ALL men are not bad. let the good men feel good doing their job....

to walk to a family man and say what happened and concerned he would have jumped up

show girls they dont have to take it
using their judgment can depend on man
let man feel like he is doing his part, only good

so many things could come out of it

but tail between legs the worst they could have chosen.

[Wcross]

72. If the waiter was LUCKY all that would have happened is an escort.

Many men would see to it that he never considered doing that to ANY woman again but especially a 12 year old girl. If that doesn't deserve a serious ass kicking I don't know what does.

[Echo In Light]

8. Yep, it's tough. We're currently teaching our young daughter how to size up situations/people

...and how to respond/react during different scenarios. It's difficult to impart some of that to a child, however, given how even at a young age her school class is facing such boys-picking-on-girls type of issues - some more problematic than others - it's our responsibility to advocate and nurture her sense of proportion and balance in unpleasant social situations/interactions. She knows when a line has been crossed, how to confront it on her own and/or seek out a teacher for help. The real dilemma is silence/deer in the headlights phenomenon: explains America's lack of confronting dire problems.

[seabeyond]

16. very good on you

the thing is after talking to the girls, then seeing would be ok to speak out changed their whole view of it. empowered them. having my female friend couwar was the very worst lesson for these girls. they KNEW there wasnt a chance i would have kept mouth shut and would have been a totally different lesson and experience.

i didnt have the problem at that age. i was able to turn on the guy and shout hands off..... because of the parents i had, and what i was taught on personal space and right

[Squatch]

6. My wife carries

a Smith and Wesson 340PD.

[zanne]

17. Of course she does. nt

[michreject]

29. My wife has her CCW also

She carries a S&W 386PD.

[lukasahero]

7. Where's the "no but I react appropriately to the situation presented to me" response?

I'm sorry but spraying someone with mace in line at the grocery store would be a bit of an over-reaction in my opinion but I'd be certain to make it clear to the offender - and everyone within earshot - that I don't appreciate being groped by strangers.

[Echo In Light]

11. If someone groped my wife's or daughter's ass, in a store or otherwise, pepper spray would be the...

...least of their worries.

[ThomWV]

12. I would add it but there are already a number of votes. Sorry for the omission.

It would not be fair to those who have already voted to add another choice now. Sorry.

[noamnety]

13. Well thought out response

And I fully agree - spraying mace in an enclosed space with strangers who may have lord knows what respiratory problems is as dangerous or moreso than staying silent.

I am not convinced by the OP's belief that the young woman reacted wrong, though. She reacted in a way she was comfortable with, she got out of there safely. Some women are comfortable speaking out and confronting men, but you have to judge each situation individually because confrontation can make things worse. It can trigger anger in a guy who's already an asshole, and cause him to want to retaliate, which could mean stalking you when you no longer are in a public place.

I don't think blaming the victim is particularly helpful, to include telling a woman who was victimized that she didn't handle it right. If she didn't put herself in more danger, she did the most important thing just fine. Giving her more tools, and guidance on when to use them, is okay. I have no problem with teaching self-defense skills. But her instinct may have been just right in that situation, to get away from him with as little confrontation as possible.

[seabeyond]

21. i so disagree. blaming, no. correcting yes... a woman leaves the man to do to another

she is in the store and IF she is afraid there are plenty that would love to walk out with her. to put tail between legs ONLY leaves female powerless and empowers the male.

i so oppose the way you see it.... respectfully.

[noamnety]

23. I've seen more situations

where bystanders refuse to get involved, than situations where they step in. Rapes and assaults and child abuse happen with witnesses walking away quickly, minding their own business. It's not something I would count on, and for me, it would not be "empowering" to have to ask strangers to escort me to my own car.

Further, if the man tracks her out to her car, he can get her plate number, and do longer term harassment, and the people in the store will not be there to protect her then. Being a stalking victim is also not empowering for a woman. Trust me on that.

Safety first, and confrontation should happen IF you know it won't escalate the situation, and IF you are comfortable with the confrontation - or IF it's necessary to prevent further violence, but it doesn't sound like she was in danger of that - not like she was about to be abducted.

It's one of those can't win situations. If she made a big scene and then got assaulted, people would blame her for that as well. And it's one of the few crimes where we advise the victim to be confrontational. My daughter was recently mugged, and her laptop was taken away from her. She went screaming after the guy and chased him several blocks. She had some people tell she should have just let it go, the important thing was that she was safe. And that's what we even tell men when they are mugged, just hand over the wallet and don't do something stupid that gets you hurt. We don't really worry so much about whether or not we are "empowering" the criminal. Blaming the victim for not doing it right - for being too nonconfrontational - seems to be unique in crimes against women.

Like I said, if you're comfortable being the loudmouth who puts them publicly in their place, that's great. More power to you. I'm not trying to make a case AGAINST speaking out. I'm saying that we shouldn't judge others for not reacting in that same way, or act like the victim has a moral obligation to society to be confrontational "for the greater good" if it puts them personally in more danger.

[seabeyond]

32. again... i disagree. looking for the very worst that can possibly happen

and having the lowest of expectation from fellow man is exactly what you will get. every male, every single male i know would step up. and it would do something for the male. remember how it is suppose to be. and it is empowering for the female to be able to look in the eye and say no. to suggest the person is going to continue to follow out and get plates and then stauk is so low on possibilities wouldnt even be a condition.

i see all kinds of wins to speak up

all kinds of lose lose to keep mouth shut, including not teaching pig male boundary.

IF we are talking the very worst of neighborhoods your post would have warrant. granted i am picturing myself in my environment with my people.... fellow man around. and have total confidence.

i disagree with you point.

[noamnety]

36. I'm not interested in the "protection racket"

as my friend calls it, where women are allowed to be safe so long as there's a strong male around to protect them and guard their honor. You can see that mentality here with one of the posters fantasizing about how if someone did that to their woman, they'd have a problem. Ugh.

And I'm not interested in having a confrontation for the purpose (not even a secondary purpose) of making some other male feel good about himself for stepping up and being part of that protection racket. Again, there's nothing empowering to me to have to play the woman's role in that scenario.

[seabeyond]

37. again, i disagree. i guess it is perspective, how you chose to see it. i dont see it like that

as the black community is dependent on the white for equality, women are dependent on male community too. i am saying, i think it behooves us to have males on our side. it behooves us to have a male say, hey fellow male, that is bullshit. as it behooves the black community to have white say to fellow white, bullshit on the bullshit racist comments. i think it behooves us for christians to speak out to fellow christians, when they preach christianity of hate. i think that is how we heal as a people

for a male to shift from role as the stalker or objectifying female to the protector does not hurt womens rights at all. for the male to say to fellow male when talking about getting some girl drunk, or look at that hot 14 yr old girl, i could do her.... and for male to say to another, you are sick. totally over line, is a good thing.

you are saying you would rather allow a male to molest than to have another male put peer in place in shame and humiliation.

on edit: that is IF a woman is truly fearful of consequence of speaking up and out against someone missing with her. odds are, ... she wins just with voice

[noamnety]

40. I haven't said other men shouldn't speak up.

And I agree with you that men have a responsibility to correct other men, just as white people have a special responsibility to correct other white people about racism.

But that's different than saying black people should deliberately put themselves in confrontational situations instead of walking away, so they can feel "empowered" by finding a group of white people to escort them to their cars, and adding as a foot note that it would be good for the white people to get to act as little missionaries in that way.

[seabeyond]

41. ya... well... that isnt what i said. it is how you interpreted my words though

to make it as offensive and weak as you could, lol.

the empowering is not lowering eyes and meekly walking away. the empowering is looking in the eyes and calling bullshit and MAYBE stopping man from thinking he could get away with it to another woman.

IF a woman is afraid, then there are alternatives where she can still speak out and know she does not have the need to "fear" the man.

[noamnety]

45. I understand your frustration, because

I thought you interpreted my words as offensively as possible when you implied I was somehow condoning men molesting women.

In some cases, a woman IS justified in fearing a man who is angry and irrational and doesn't respect her boundaries. As a default position, maybe you should trust women's instincts and not act as if there is a one size fits all solution to all situations. Being confrontational is not ALWAYS the safest option. And not all women want the safest option to mean "I will trust some other random man to act as my escort to my car." I do not want to escape one threatening or offensive situation by potentially throwing myself into another, and I don't want to create a threatening situation where one didn't exist (feeling threatened just by walking to the parking lot).

So I am saying teach defense skills, but don't second guess a woman's instinct because that's often the best defense a woman has. If she got out of a situation with a guy who frankly sounds a little psycho, she did good. You can't reason with psychos - you can just piss them off. Don't assume in all cases women should escalate the tension in a situation. We don't all want to put ourselves in a situation like that needlessly and have to rely on a man to appear and rescue us like we're in a Disney movie. Sometimes that escalation costs women their lives.

Like I said, there's a world of difference between telling men how they should behave when they witness another man harassing a woman, and telling women they aren't being a victim the "right way."

[Hippo_Tron]

50. I was walking with another guy and 3 girls one night

And we were harassed by an obviously drunk man who scared the crap out of us. The girls started walking away quickly and I started to walk with them. The other guy tried stayed to try and diffuse the situation in the mean time and after a few steps I decided to go back and help him because I figured it was safer with two people than one. It turned out that he was homeless and just wanted a few bucks, which we had no problem giving him.

The reason I mention this story is that obviously the thought on our minds when the other guy decided to confront the man and I decided to help him was that we wanted to protect the girls. They knew this which is why they got away as quickly as possible. For a while it seemed like we did the right thing because we basically followed societal expectations where the men protect the women. Now I'm not so sure if we shouldn't have just all tried to run away. If he had been armed, that might've been the better option.

[Quantess]

52. You're a nice, good, person. Thank you.

I love guys like you.

But, those young women are going to go walking around at night, without a man to save them. For me, this is the American Dream.

[Hippo_Tron]

58. Agreed

And honestly I think men take for granted that we can walk around at night with the worst thing likely to happen is that someone might take our wallet. I can't imagine having to worry about being sexually assaulted every time I walk back from the library at night.

[raccoon]

28. Well said! The last thing somebody needs after something like that is to be told she didn't handle

it right.

"Giving her more tools, and guidance on when to use them, is okay. "

Yes!

[zanne]

18. YES!

If there's no real danger, over-reacting would be stupid. 99.9% of the time, addressing the person face to face in an assertive manner is all that you need.

[michreject]

31. Being assertive with a gun in your hand

gets you further that by just being assertive.

[blondeatlast]

33. Exactly--can't and won't answer a push poll! nt

[momster]

38. That's the Answer I wanted

I have the 'Killer Mom-Stare of Death' and the 'Voice of Ultimate Fuck-Off' in my arsenal as well as an uncontrollable upward thrust of an extremely bony knee which, surprisingly enough, terminates in a power crunch to the instep of the offending individual.

[Quantess]

60. Confidence, my friend. Confidence.

A lot of women don't have it, comparable to a cornered and hurt animal.

Or, more likely, she is young and testing the limits.

I'm agreeing with you. Just a plain and simple look straight in the asshole's eyes, and something like "get your ******* hands off me" or, "WTF do you think you're doing, asshole?" And the bad behavior will stop. ESPECIALLY in public. Mace in public is a wimpy tactic.

[RB TexLa]

10. In your car a can of oven cleaner or wasp spray is much better

[zanne]

20. Or Formula 407!

Just about anything sprayed in the eyes is momentarily very painful and blinding. It's just enough to say "Don't mess with me".

[WyLoochka]

15. I carry it when I run to ward off

pit bulls who aren't under control of their owners. Had to use it twice or I'd be dead.

When is the fad over pit bulls ever going to end?

[Echo In Light]

19. Idiots who use big bully dogs to enhance their macho affectation

Ugh. ...and how many times have you heard this?

"Oh, don't worry, he won't bite anybody."

Which shortly thereafter becomes:

"I dunno...he's never attacked anyone BEFORE."

[Quantess]

71. Admittedly, this describes me, in recent years.

I'm a good dog owner, though. They may look like bullies, but my dogs are well-behaved sweethearts. I make sure of that.

There are too many bad dog owners out there. Don't blame the dog for not being socialized properly, it is the owner's fault.

So, you could draw an analogy between raising a dog to be respectful to humans and raising a child to be respectful to women. Dog owners set parameters for their dog's behavior, and human parents are role models for their child's behavior. Teenagers who get a green light to sexually harrass others will keep on sexually harrassing, thinking it is normal.

[Dorian Gray]

22. No...

but come to think of it, I should. It wouldn't hurt. Though I don't know what the laws are in NYC about Mace. It may be illegal here.

[Breeze54]

24. No but I don't take whatever comes my way either!

When I was younger, some men tried that with me and they regretted it.

I'll punch them in the mouth, knee them in the balls or just plain old kick their asses!

I've been attacked and I beat the living shit out of the bastard with a baseball bat!

[fight4my3sons]

25. no

not since I have moved to Maine. I live in a rural area where I highly doubt something like that would happen, but am very aware of my surroundings when in parking lots and areas that I am not familiar with. I am rarely out at night.

That being said, when I lived in NY I did carry pepper spray because something similar to what you described did happen to me. Except it was much more than just a grab on the ass. It was a grab at the breast and rip the shirt type of thing. Scared the crap out of me and it was very upsetting. I kicked the guy and screamed and he ran away. I was in my late teens at the time coming out of a defensive driving class. My step-father was a retired trooper and got me one of those pepper spray things. I never used it, but did feel safer for having it.

[Connie_Corleone]

26. Yes. I have it in my hand as I walk to the bus stop in the mornings going to work.

The part of my neighborhood isn't bad, but every once in a blue moon someone gets robbed while at the bus stop.

If it was just some guy grabbing my butt, I would just kick his ass. No need for pepper spray.

[MountainLaurel]

27. No, but . . .

It has more to do with a fear of my dog getting hold of it (he's a golden: if he sees it, he checks whether it's edible). Otherwise, I'd probably have one.

[The Straight Story]

30. My wife is a red head, she don't need no pepper spray - they do

:rofl:

[RockaFowler]

34. I used to carry it

Then my husband and I started to commute to work together and I didn't feel the need any longer. We kinda defend each other and are able to protect ourselves without it!!

[blondeatlast]

35. Spraying a can of whoop-ass on innocent bystanders doesn't strike me as appropriate somehow.

This poll is 100% PUSH and 110% BS.

She reacted perfectly fine for her. I would have been more assertive (said something cutting--like "I take it that's the only way you can get off?", but she got herself out of the situation, she's alive, and presumably has mostly forgotten about it.

This comes from someone who is thought to have a rather attractive butt, has traveled in Medtterranean Europe, and lived to tell about it.

[tishaLA]

39. I took a self defense class abt 8 years ago

and they cautioned us against mace and pepper spray because of its unpredictability. Instead, we learned how to use a kubaton and I carried one for years. Until, that is, it was confiscated at the airport. I had taken to hooking my keys to it--it's most convenient that way, anyhow, because you are more likely to have to defend yourself when you're going to your car, letting yourself into your home/apartment, etc.--but the FAA told me it was contraband. I haven't had one since...and I need to get another.

[Quantess]

42. I don't bother. A dog helps.

I've been sexually harrassed by idiot strangers quite a lot, but I'm not sure mace is the right response to that.
I used to go running at night, through neighborhoods in San Francisco, but I had a rottweiler with me, and no one ever gave me trouble.
These days I go jogging in the daylight hours with a less intimidating dog. We go pretty much everywhere together. I can't say whether he deters any trouble or not, but he is good company.

[ThomWV]

47. Not appropriate in a grocery store check out line.

[RamboLiberal]

43. Sometimes I carry pepper spray - but I also carry a gun

BTW, not a good idea to spray the lout in the grocery store. She could've as easily gotten busted as the lout. Pepper spray indoors would've contaminated the area and the other customers and store owners would've been unhappy campers. I wouldn't call an ass grab exactly a reason for this level of self-defense.

Maybe a good loud expletive and a shot with the elbow or a kick to the shins would've been in better order. And calling 911 if Mr. Lout stuck around or escalated the situation.

I don't think it's a bad idea to carry pepper spray. BTW, I've also been told to make sure to buy a new canister every year or two and you probably ought to test in some isolated area outside a short burst.

[zanne]

44. A well-timed elbow-thrust can be invaluable...

When I was young I was at a frat party when some idiot behind me grabbed my butt. I am on the short side (5'2"). I had no idea that the creep behind me was very tall. I just instinctively jerked my elbow at him and he wound up on the floor, clutching his groin. Hey--is it my fault he was so tall?

[uppityperson]

46. People need to learn, be trained, how to react. It's ok to make a scene.

We are so well trained at NOT making a scene, at NOT being rude, that it can be easy to freeze up in situations. Both girls AND boys need to be taught that it is ok to make a scene, to be rude.

It is more rude to not react and let some asshole molest someone else than to yell "get your hand off my butt!" It is not the victim's fault for being assaulted, it is the assaulter's fault and they sure as hell deserve to be embarrassed in front of everyone.

To answer your OP, no I don't. I have frozen in a similar situation and afterwards was extremely angry and have, hopefully, learned that it's ok to be angry and react openly.

[Quantess]

49. But even better, you can look a person in the eye when you first feel intimidated, in any way.

Like, "don't fucking mess-with-me". A challenge stare that is not to be beaten down. Even though I have never actually been in a fight. Or maybe, that is why I have never been in a fight.

[TimeChaser]

48. When I go for long walks in the evenings, yes

I'm 21, I live in a small town with a college attached and a couple bars.

[TZ]

51. No because..

I was told by a law enforcement person that its never a great idea to carry something that can be used agaisnt you. Something like a whistle is a better weapon..Or simply using your keys agaisnt them or using knees to the crotch etc....

[Kat45]

53. You need to have a permit to carry it here.

[ruby slippers]

57. gosh in Florida you can now carry a gun in your car to your workplace....

and your bosses will not be able to tell you to leave it home or fire you....

[ThomWV]

74. where?

[Kat45]

79. Massachusetts n/t

[ismnotwasm]

54. No

A hand held taser deal. The plan if I ever have to use it is scream loud and run like hell.
Anyway, for those harassing assholes out there
http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

[Quantess]

55. I've read some of the replies.

You will never know how stupid and desperate a man can appear until you are a beautiful young woman.

[ruby slippers]

56. but I DO walk with my key pointed outward in between my fingers when

walking to the car. Use it to gouge the eyes out, they say.....

[zippy890]

59. no. I walk down the street like I fuckin OWN it

when I'm in the city.

rule #1 - don't act like a victim.

[galledgoblin]

61. it's worse the younger you are

not only are you inexperienced, but it seems men behave much more predatorially.

it's shocking; when I was a young teen I was hit on a great deal more than I am now in my early 20's.

I don't carry mace... I carry a fucking knife. I also keep in mind that taking out a weapon might make the situation worse.

[Quantess]

67. Yep! And let me guess, the younger you were, the older the men were?

Creepy old men love teenagers. I know this from experience.

[galledgoblin]

68. yup *shudders* n/t

[Maddy McCall]

62. No. I carry a Ruger .45

[tsdraegeth]

63. That's exactly what we need

Gunfights and knifefights between assholes making an exuberant pass, and spunky chix just waiting for the right moment to pull it out and let fly.

And for those serious situations, goodness knows how easy it is to take a weapon away from a woman just beginning to ride an adrenaline rush, and use it against her.

Which is why self-defense professionals advise women to carry a whistle--the one weapon that won't be used against them after they wound/miss/make-even-more-angry the criminal who is going after them.

[Maddy McCall]

64. LOL.

[tsdraegeth]

65. TY, but I am serious

That is the advice I have heard repeated from many sources. Apparently, a lot of times women try to use some other weapon, and end up being sodomized or beaten with it. Unless you're a quick draw, and have strong wrists (as compared to a man), and are genuinely ready to look a human in the eyes and pull the trigger (and aim right), you will set off a fight or flight reaction that could have far more dire consequences than what you were trucking for to begin with.

Thus, your gun will be most effective in scaring off men who were not a serious risk (and risking accidental discharge and ruining your life with lawsuits).

Also, it won't be so helpful against purse snatchers.

[Quantess]

70. But, to that line of thinking, the very whistle that was intended to protect a woman

could indeed be used to sodomize her.

[Wcross]

73. It IS exactly what we need.

You are free to arm yourself with a whistle if YOU wish tsdraegeth, just as Maddy is free to arm herself with a firearm. If attacked my bet is that Maddy will be better equipped to defend herself. "goodness knows" how easy it is???? When was the last time you tested that theory?

[Wcross]

75. Good choice Maddy, great caliber too!

I wanted to make an ammunition reccomendation, I use this in my carry gun for safety reasons as well as effectivness. It is specifically made for personal defense.

http://www.rbcd.net/



To the left is a clay bl;ock hit with a standard hollow point .45acp round. On the right a clay block hit with an RBCD round.

[Cleita]

66. No, I never carry anything for defense that could be used on me instead. n/t

[Divernan]

76. My experience re self-defense, particularly women against men

I've taken classes in it, and there are a number of problems with mace/pepper spray. Unless you walk through life carrying it in your hand, it will take too long to get it out. "Please, Mr. Drunk/Mugger/Rapist/Groper - will you let go of me long enough for me to rumage through my backpack/purse to get out my Mace, and then would you kindly back up enough for me to aim it at your face - oh, and please position yourself downwind from me, so it won't blow back and blind me. Now don't you go grabbing it out of my hand either, there's a good lad!"

As another poster pointed out, in a crowded situation - restaurant, bar, elevator, amusement park, city street, etc., you can't control the spray so you just hit your assailant - and as a (retired) lawyer, may I also point out that if you spray an innocent bystander when your own life was not in danger (i.e., disproportionate response) you can get your ass sued off in civil court.

Nobody can give a whole self defense course in a thread like this. The most important thing is to prepare yourself, or your kids, spouse, whatever on how to protect themselves. Did you know that most women have never shouted or screamed at the top of their lungs in their lives? Let alone shouted something at full volume like: "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE - GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME, YOU WALKING SACK OF SHIT! - followed by A BIG, LONG SCREAM !!!! Predators look for women who look like EASY victims - women who are daydreaming, or walking slowly, or are little and frail looking. If a "victim" starts screaming threats and obscenities, the attacker will often take off and look for another victim. A good place to practise screaming full volume? In your car, with all the windows up.

The ideal response is to get away from an assailant, and then report it to the police. If you're in a restaurant, tell the manager and demand the name and address of the owner. Tell the manager to call the police. If the manager refuses, then call the police yourself, and tell them exact details: time, location, what the parties were doing (I was sitting at a table); description of what was said or done by the assailant; description of the assailant (physical & clothing), what the manager did or refused to do about it.

And to all you macho posturing fathers and husbands and boyfriends? Get real. The women in your life are on their own most of the time. The children in your life particularly need to playact what to do in dangerous situations, or they will likely freeze up. If you truly want to protect them, get them to take a course on self-defense. And that course will NOT teach them it's safe to rely on mace or a gun.

I have used the enraged screaming and cursing effectively in defending myself, as well as stopping a man who was beating a teenage girl (he was slamming her head against a brick wall) on a downtown Pittsburgh street. And contrary to an earlier poster's comment how most men would come to a woman's defense, a number of very large, very expensively dressed businessmen walked on by carefully looking up at the sky, while I, looking like an elderly Mary Poppins, shouted the assailant down. Part of me knew I was being foolish to get involved, because the asshole could have pulled a gun, but I was damned if I'd let him get by with it. My adult daughters have also used shouting/screaming in their own defense.

[GreenPartyVoter]

78. I live in the boonies and rarely leave home, so no.