Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology

[TeddyKGB]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007030603,00.html

TOM Cruise is the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

[DoYouEverWonder]

1. I'm sure Scooter Libby will be very excited

to hear his friend Tom Cruise is now a god.

[Tom Joad]

2. What about Katie?

[TeddyKGB]

6. I'm pretty sure...

...that makes her Mary Magdalene in this analogy.

[salvorhardin]

3. Hell. Now I just might become a scientologist.

I figure any religion where the primary object of worship is a laughing stock can't be all bad.

j/k of course.

[Poll_Blind]

4. Life imitating a South Park episode? As an Operation Clambake reader...

...I am not terribly surprised. If he falls for it...wait...he fell for it already. This is just a bigger it to fall for.

PB

[Initech]

5. It was only a matter of time before we literally began worshipping celebrities.

The mere thought of that is really :puke: inducing.

[proud2BlibKansan]

20. Ever been to Graceland?

They worship a dead celebrity there.

[Gruenemann]

7. Does this mean

he'll be crucified in a few years, hope hope?

[Kerrytravelers]

8. Bad Duer. Bad bad bad.

But funny. Funny funny funny.

:rofl:

[regnaD kciN]

10. That was my thought...

...when this came up on Stephanie Miller's show this morning: "Let's nail him to a cross and find out!" :evilgrin:

[Poll_Blind]

13. "The Passion of the Cruise"? n/t

PB

[AlCzervik]

9. i wonder what what a Scientology stigmata looks like? i bet vitamins and exercise

would clear it up.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

11. Kinda like saying Bush is the Einstein of the Republican Party.

I find the comparison between a multi-millionaire, ego maniacal actor, and a revolutionary laborer a tad absurd.

[azurnoir]

12. So what about L Ron? n/t

[Poll_Blind]

14. He's on Mars, dodging Locomotives. (Bonus Audio Link)

From Xenu.net (mp3 file)

The recordings archive can be found here.

PB

[Poll_Blind]

15. Excuse me, VENUSIAN freight locomotive. My bad. n/t

PB

[mitchum]

16. It's that whole "praying in your closet thing" leading to the confusion

[Rex]

17. Look, even IF you give Tom godlike powers

he still can't act. How delusional is this guy?

[brettdale]

18. Oh please

Risky Business was good, but it wasn't that good.

[JackRiddler]

19. Another reason why immortality treatments must be opposed at all costs

If the biomed tech is developed to the point of allowing extreme longevity, the culture and spirit of this species will be cooked. Imagine it's 2400, the average age of the rich is 380, and the few young people in the world are still saddled with Madonna, Bill Gates, and this guy (all of whom will have necessarily lost touch with reality even as they stubbornly cling to life).

Our most important duty is to crush the longevity movement.

(Not sure how much I'm kidding here, myself.)

[0rganism]

21. crucified on a cross of gold, wearing a crown of engrams...

more like Bozo the Clown, methinks

[Liberal In Texas]

22. Kubrick was murdered...."Eyes Wide Shut" ...

:tinfoilhat:

from:
http://ellisctaylor.homestead.com/eyeswideshut.html

THE FILM
If you haven't seen 'Eyes Wide Shut', the film Stanley Kubrick was working on when he died, and you are interested in researching and exposing mind-control, the Illumunati, Satanic Ritual; may I respectfully suggest you do so. The link below is an excellent interpretation of the film:

http://www.konformist.com/flicks/eyeswideshut.htm


...but there you go.

Enjoy the journey as you look around about this.

(Then again, I also like "The Traveler" by John Twelve Hawks)

[MonkeyFunk]

23. I posted it this in the lounge...

and thought it appropriate here:

I believe....
in one Tom, the father, the almighty
Creator of Days of Thunder,
I believe in Suri Cruise, his only begotten (?) daughter.

He was conceived by the power of Francis Coppola
and born of the virgin Spielberg.

He suffered under Brooke Shields,
was crucified, and nearly died.

He descended into Mission Impossible III
and on the third day, bought United Studios.

He ascended into Heaven
and sits at (on?) the right hand of David Geffen.

He will come again to make
Mission Impossible IV.

I believe in Katie Holmes,
and the wholly ludicrous succession of ex-wives.

The forgiveness of Vanilla Sky

The resurrection of a career

and beards everlasting.

Amen.

[dorkulon]

24. The best Scientology Mockery EVER here:

http://buffalobeast.com/110/cult_classic_scientology.htm

Ian Murphy of the great Buffalo Beast infiltrates a local Scientology chapter, culminating in a shroom-fueled attempt to crash their halloween party dressed as 'Xenu', complete with pro-Xenu propaganda pamphlets. Long read, very worth it--true gonzo, informative, intimate and downright hilarious.

[AngryAmish]

25. I am the "Christ" of Old Style

AA is the new “Christ” of Old Style, according to leaders of G. Heilman Brewing Company.

The corner tavern star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his beer throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, AngryAmish, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the beer.

A source close to the drunk, who has risen to one of the brewery’s top levels, said: “AA has been told he is Old Style’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his drunkenness and crappy taste in beer. But future generations will realise he was right.”

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

26. Cruisemas, bah humbug! Except we can use another holiday

And another reason to shop.

:)

[vanlassie]

27. Father Forgive Me

I Have Been Glib.