I finally figured it out, and Sarah Palin is a national secrity genius

[Believing Is Art]

It came to me last night. I don't know if it's my case of life-long insomnia (aka grad school) or the month-long migraine I've had from being too poor to get contacts with the right prescription, but now it all makes sense.

Sarah Palin IS single-handedly protecting the United States from a Russian invasion. By decrying claims that global warming is caused by man, she is tacitly endorsing the continued use of fossil fuels. This ensures the continued existence of the Bering Strait, preventing any glacial formation that could result in a land bridge. And that bridge would lead to somewhere: the end of democracy and freedom forever! So thank you Sarah Palin, for protecting this nation from Putin and borscht.

I imagine that every morning Sarah Palin goes into her gubernatorial yard and patriotically sprays dozens of cans of aerosol in an easterly direction. Such bravery and foreign policy acumen are a rare trait, and I feel that the only conscience choice this November is McCain-Palin.