The Inevitable Happened this week with my 9 yo son! SPOILER ALERT!

[MarianJack]

Last Friday on the way home from school, my son told me that he "knew". When he said this, I immediately knew what he was talking about but I still asked.

He told me that he knew about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. He said that he knew that they were Myths. I knew that this was inevitable and even necessary. After all, we live in a society where a young child who believes is very cute, BUT, after a certain age (that my son is rapidly approaching), a kid who believes may be considered a little weird.

Still, it puts my wife and I into a bit of the quandary that every parent faces frequently with varying degrees of intensity. The quandary is the feeling of pride seeing your child reach another developmental milestone and the mourning over what is being left behind. The first time we noticed this was when he was about 18 months old. At that time he'd been saying "too-too" for thank you. After about a month of this we were riding in the car one day and I handed him a cookie. He said "tank you". My wife and I looked at each other with frowns as I mouthed "I'm going to miss "too-too".

We're not sure how long we're going to keep insisting that Easter Bunny ans Santa ARE real. This morning he still enjoyed his Easter Egg hunt like any kid would. Still, we knew that this day was coming just as every parent does. I've had my explanation that we are ALL Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy ready for some time now. He has such a sense of fun that we have every confidence that he won't spoil the illusion for his little cousins.

Still...

We're proud to see him growing up, but we're sorry for what has passed.

What has you're experience been when this has happened with your kids?

PEACE!

[ThomWV]

1. I recall my son's first abstract expression of thought

I remember it well, his first expression of abstract thought, and at that very moment I thought to myself - "he'll be OK, no matter what happens he'll be OK"

He was counting something at the time and he got this funny look on his face and this is what he said, "numbers never end". He was about 7 at the time. In my mind his adulthood began at that moment. He has grown up to be a fine son.

Its not the same thing as your experience, but it is the same thing.

[MarianJack]

4. How True!

Not the same but the same! :patriot:

[lunatica]

32. I remember having a profound epiphany when I was six

Of realizing how time is measured in cycles of years. Days then weeks then months then years and that each day has a name and a number and that it would happen again in a year. It was profound enough that I remember it very clearly.

[utopian]

42. I was six in 1968

And I vividly recall thinking "and next year will be 1969, and then 1970 . . ." That realization seemed profound at the time.

My three year old is way ahead of where I was though. He's already sussed out the Easter Bunny myth. He used simple socratic questioning to back my wife into a corner. He's become my new retirement plan. I hope he comes through.

[sazemisery]

2. My kids are still trying to convince me there is no Santa or Easter Bunny! n/t

[MarianJack]

5. You mean they aren't real?

OH NO! :cry:

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

15. This thread needs a SPOILER ALERT!

:grr:

[MarianJack]

21. DONE!

:patriot:

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

24. -

:patriot:

[Sherman A1]

23. Agreed

I saw the Easter Bunny yesterday at the store, so I know he is real.....

[MarianJack]

25. Santa & the Easter Bunny...

...to quote an old "Seinfeld" line WILDLY out of context, "They're real and they're SPECTACULAR"!

[cali]

3. what a loving post, but may I make a suggestion?

Don't push the "yes, they are real" stuff too hard. And I admit a bit of envy. My son was a born disbeliever. He accused me of being Santa when he was just shy of 5 and then shortly went on telling me that he didn't believe in God.

[MarianJack]

7. We won't push it TOO hard...

...but while it's fun. :hi:

[madaboutharry]

6. When my son was five he found out the truth

about The Tooth Fairy. It happened one day at the breakfast table. He was about to loose his first tooth. It went something like this:

Son: "I'll get a dollar from the Tooth Fairy".

Cynical older sister: "Mom is the Tooth Fairy".

Son: "Mom is the Tooth Fairy?"

For a moment, he thought I had a night job.

Cynical older sister: "NO STUPID, MOM PUTS THE DOLLAR THERE!"

Son: " :wtf: "

[MarianJack]

9. With only 1 kid...

...we haven't had to worry about that, although, there IS the schoolyard.

Did you want to give your daughter a boot in the can?

[elocs]

49. My daughter figured out about the tooth fairy when she lost a tooth and didn't tell me

and then put it under her pillow and nothing happened, but when she informed me she had lost a tooth and put it under her pillow she found a dollar coin and the tooth missing the next morning.

[shifting_sands]

8. DIFFERENT

I had 4 kids and it was all at different ages. The most interesting thing to me is all the older kids did not tell their younger siblings, they let them find out on their own. The baby of the family was 8 years old when he found out, in fact all of them were around 7 or 8. I still sign all the gifts I give them at Christmas as Santa Claus, for them and the grandkids, we like the game. There are things all around us that we consider magic even when we grow up, because there are things we don't understand plus things we will never understand. I don't think all the mysteries of the Universe will ever be unraveled or totally understood although each generation thinks they have unraveled them.

So yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and an Easter Bunny and a Tooth Fairy and Leprechauns and all those other things we believe in and they will always live in the hearts of all of us.

[MarianJack]

11. You say it so beautifully...

...and you reflect my wife's and my outlook perfectly! :patriot:

[Berry Cool]

31. That's what the story of Peter Pan was all about--that magic of childhood

and believing in fairies and all kinds of things you can't see, just because it's fun.

Peter wanted Wendy to stay with him and take care of the Lost Boys but she was fated to go back home and grow up, and somehow they both knew it. But Peter and Tinkerbell and all their friends would have their immortality because even when Wendy was grown up and could no longer join them in their adventures, she would tell her children about them, and in that way they would live on, for her children and their children to enjoy.

[Akoto]

10. Heck, I'm 24 and we still do the Bunny/Santa.

Of course, we know they're not real, so it's a bit tongue-in-cheek. ;) We still have the same fun with it, though! I think I enjoy it even more now that I'm older and can appreciate the small things my folks did for me.

[MarianJack]

14. I'm almost 54...

...and it's still part of the magic!

[zeemike]

12. I can remember how my father handled it.

By never giving in to reality but making the stories even bigger and more unbelievable.
he had a mythology of his own that explained natural phenomena by saying it was giants causing it...Thunder he said was the giant named Hogy rolling his spuds into the cellar...and the more we claimed it was not true the more he would go on about it.
In reality now I see it was great fun for him as well as us. And it also in a way reinforced the notion of "don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see"

[MarianJack]

16. A spirit of fun!

How boring life would be without it!

[zeemike]

39. I don't know but I have the feeling that it was a family tradition

Sense his grandfather came from Ireland and they have that same love of storytelling.

[MarianJack]

51. Most of my family is Irish, too.

Blarney is a major Irish commodity!

[Hugin]

17. "Hogy rolling his spuds into the cellar..."

I love it! I can hardly wait to pull that one on my 18 yo! :rofl:

Got any more? Please?

HAHAHAHAHA!

[zeemike]

38. Well let's see there was Snoozie

Who made snow by blowing the feathers out of his pillow.
And Weepie who was responsible for rain, crying because he spilled the milk from the cow.
And more that I have forgotten.
And he never once conceded that it was all a story and never cracked a smile when he told it.
He was still telling those stories when we were in our teens and we loved them but would always act like it was ridiculous.

[MannyGoldstein]

13. Our 9 Year Old Boy Figured This Out A Few Months Ago

We fessed up - he was mad that we'd been fooling him until then.

[MarianJack]

19. I hope he'll eventually see...

...the spirit of fun intended! :hi:

[MannyGoldstein]

20. Oh Yeah, He Does Now

He appreciates that he was getting free stuff...

[riderinthestorm]

54. My older girl was very, very pissed off we'd been "lying" to her!!

She also figured it all out sometime around 7 - 8 yrs old and was really irritated to discover we'd been "lying". She discovered Santa's real identity by recognizing my handwriting on the Christmas packages from "Santa". Even though I took pains to disguise my writing, used different pens, and even different wrapping paper!

Busted!

Frankly, I was pretty surprised at her reaction. When she first brought it up, I didn't recognize how important it all was and I tried to jolly her along by playing coy, trying to keep the illusion going. That just pissed. her. off!

I quickly fessed up. Gave her a hug (was pushed off if I remember right) and she has never, ever brought it up again. She told her little sister the "truth" when she was perhaps 3 years old though. There was no way I was going to get outwardly mad at her for doing that but secretly I was annoyed she'd done it.

She's always been very honest. Very serious. Perhaps the deception was too much and she had to fess up to her younger sister (they're 9 years apart so she is quite a bit older and was full on into the tween years at the time so that also played a part). Perhaps there was a bit of revenge there too....

Every family's different. While I regret the pain I caused her, I wouldn't swap the delight in playing Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny for anything.

[Frustratedlady]

18. My youngest daughter is 43 and I bought her a chocolate bunny,

as I still remember the year she was 16, came down for breakfast and there was no Easter basket from the Easter bunny. The tears streamed down her face...for real.

Every year since, I have made sure she has an Easter present from the Easter bunny.

Believing is more fun than not.

[MarianJack]

22. Believing is more fun than not.

How true!

She will cherish these moments forever and probably do the same for her kids, too. :patriot:

Thanks for answering.

[Nay]

35. My son is 26 and I still buy him peeps for Easter....

:blush:

But we never ever pretended that the stories (Santa, Easter bunny, etc.) were true. We always presented them as wonderful magical stories that we had fun playing with. I never was comfortable with lying to him and trying to get him to believe these stories were factually true. Of course, I'm an atheist, so I did that with all such stories, if you get my drift.

[Booster]

26. It takes a little while for them to get over the fact that you have

been lying to them for years. LOL

[MarianJack]

29. Compared to an Idiot from Crawford, TX...

,,,I'm a piker!

[Booster]

60. Oh, yeah. NONE of us will ever get over that.

[a la izquierda]

27. I'm 31 and my mom still signs my stuff "Santa".

When I was about 10, I kept trying to convince myself that Santa was real. My poor mom had to deal with me in such a quandary about the mysteries of Santa and the Easter Bunny. I remembered "seeing" Rudolph when I was little and it stuck with me. I think that I was hoping that such a thing could exist, because I knew that my mom didn't have much money. Santa still managed to give us great Christmases every year. And I think in my 10 year old mind, I realized my sacrificed a heck of a lot to give us such great memories.

[MarianJack]

28. And Parents will HAPPILY make those sacrifices!

:hi:

[demgurl]

30. I will weigh in on the whole Santa thing.

When I was about 11 or so I came down to the States to visit my father for Christmas. One night he asked me if I still believe in Santa. I had not really thought at all about it but when I did I immediately knew the truth. I said I did not believe in him. My dad's response? He said I should believe in him and that Santa is the love a mother and father has for their child. When the time comes I will pass this information onto my children as well. I believe it is one of the most beautiful explanations, of anything, I have ever heard.

[MarianJack]

45. Your dad's explanation is very close...

...to what I'll explain to my Jonathan.

I like the notion that EVERYBODY is Santa.

[lunatica]

33. I was never taught the myths and never taught them to my kids

So Santa and Easter Bunny were only as real as Bug Bunny and Mickey Mouse. I don't recall that it hurt me one bit to know the truth, and my kids never seemed to mind it either.

[treestar]

55. That is good

That is one big lie that parents should never tell children. It just is a lie, and the kid learns a fundamental distrust from it!

[conscious evolution]

34. He wised up to the lies?

Good.
It really bothers me that one of the first things we teach children is based on a lie.

[Sal Minella]

44. Bingo. We start off lying to the kids and then later demand that they respect us.

[carlyhippy]

36. He will have fun keeping the characters alive for his little cousins

My kids stop believing many many years ago, but they still color Easter eggs, and did hide Easter eggs until they were nearly adults haha. I miss when they were little and did this, though. We even used to take mud and make bunny prints all around the entry way and take a carrot and take a bite out of it haha. As for the tooth fairy, I don't think they ever really believed in her, they would just bring their teeth to me and ask me to deal with the tooth fairy. They believed in Santa, but I think they believed the Easter bunny was more real for some reason.

It is different once they stop believing, no more getting up before dawn or in the night and putting easter baskets by their door, or the whole santa thing, but what is fun is the older kid helping keep the spirit alive for the younger ones, they actually relish the fact they are keeping a secret from the younger ones.

[MarianJack]

46. 2 things I love are...

...the fun of it all and the reaction of the kids to Santa and the Easter Bunny.

As for the Tooth Fairy, if you saw "The Santa Clause II', you'ld know that he is now "The Molinator".

[Control-Z]

37. My kids never gave it up.

My older daughter, the first of my three children, has been a good teacher to her little brother and sister. If you don't give it up to Mom and Dad, then the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy will all continue to make a show of it at our house. And she was right. Santa still visits, lol, even though two are in HS.

Lately I'm taking a little credit, though, for the big gifts I work so hard to surprise them with.

[MarianJack]

47. Yep!

The fun of the Holidays and making it a little more special for the kids!

[lilyreally]

40. WHAT?!?!!!!!!!???????? No SANTA???????????

Covers 62 year old ears....

LALALALALALALALALALA

[MarianJack]

48. As I said earlier...

...we are ALL Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and so on.

I feel bad for some of the people who've responded in this thread who treat this as some sort of nefarious lie told to hurt our kids. :crazy:

The joy is what they'll remember!

[ensho]

41. my kids knew from the get go because I told them it wasn't real

nt

[Sal Minella]

43. I confronted my parents at 7 or 8, offended that the rich kids got expensive presents

(erector set, electric train, new bike) and the poor kids got cheap presents (games, clothing, dolls) and wanted to know why Santa Claus wasn't fair.

Instead of telling the truth, my parents told me the kids' parents had to PAY Santa Claus for whatever presents he left for their kids. Which made Santa Claus a small-hearted cheapskate. I was relieved to find out it was all a lie, and baffled that my parents would lie to me.

With my own kids, we always soft-pedaled the spoofery. The giving of gifts at the darkest time of year made Christmas celebration enough.

[MarianJack]

50. On our most BROKE Christmas,...

...when our son was 4, we made an illusion of many gifts simply by wrapping each thing separately (instead of wrapping all the story books or coloring books together.

On a related note, my wife and I were proud of the fact that when I was out of work for 9 1/2 month last year our son NEVER had a clue. This was not lying to him, but protecting him something that would only hurt him to know and that he couldn't do anything about.

[Liberal_in_LA]

52. 'Spoiler Alert'? for DUers who believe in Santa Claus & Easter BUnny?

[MarianJack]

56. A response to answer #15,...

...AKA, a joke!

[Liberal_in_LA]

58. I saw answer #15 later. ha ha!

[annabanana]

53. This is the first year I didn't hide eggs. . . . (Both my boys are in their 20's)

It's been more for me than for them for over a decade... but it was fun while it lasted...

[MarianJack]

57. Yep,...

,,,next step, GRANDKIDS!

However, since my boy is only 9, that had better be a LONG way off!

[Uzybone]

59. Well, I never lied to my kids

they've known they are all myths from day 1. Not that they don't enjoy the candy, toot fairy money and presents and all that, but they never believed in those myths for one second.