The alien threat to our American way of life

[CatWoman]

A lot of people talk about illegal immigration, but they don’t know the half of it. My fellow Earth People, THIS is illegal immigration on a planetary scale! Extraterrestials are pouring into our cities and towns at this very moment, stealing government services while paying no taxes whatsoever, trying to change our culture from within and bringing strange and exotic diseases with them, all in a secret plot to reclaim what they call Planet Aztlan.

How can we spot these creatures from outer space, alien beings that would otherwise walk among us unnoticed? According to experts at the Spare-A-Dime Research Group, here are the top five clues to spotting an alien:

1.) When confronted about their place of birth, they suddenly become evasive and try to change the subject, refusing to provide the proper government certificates. Often they will claim to have been born in some place so weird that it becomes impossible to verify their claim. Like France. Or Indonesia. Or Kenya. Or Hawaii.

2.) They exert strange powers over the minds of human beings — for example, in at least one documented case a suspected extraterrestial has been able to drive an entire opposing political party entirely around the bend.

3.) Their mother ship sends them orders about what to say and do here on Earth through an advanced device known in their language as a “TelePrompter.”

4.) They apparently take their concept of American domestic life from TV broadcasts that they monitored from space back in 1950s and 1960s. Based on shows such as “Ozzie and Harriet” and “Leave it to Beaver,” they try to fit in by creating “families” with two “parental units” and two adorable “children,” even going so far as to adopt a “dog.” Being aliens, they fail to understand that by being so “normal” they become abnormal, because no real Americans live like that anymore.

5.) Here’s your final clue:



Be frightened, my fellow Earth People. They walk among us.

http://blogs.ajc.com/jay-bookman-blog/2009/04/29/the-alien-threat-to-our-american-way-of-life/