10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should NOT Be Legalized

[DutchLiberal]

10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should NOT Be Legalized

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gaycouples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

[Faygo Kid]

1. Reason 11: All the heterosexual marriages that have ended because of gay marriage.

Like, none.

[polmaven]

2. Very well said...

Just look at how quickly Massachusets was severed from the rest of the land mass of the country, floating out to sea and ending up in the belly of that whale.

[xchrom]

3. a few DUERS take this as real -- where is the sarcasm tag?

by rights it should be used here.

[DutchLiberal]

4. Sarcasm tags are for the mentally challenged.

(No offense.)

[xchrom]

11. you meant offence -- and it's taken. nt

[Fire1]

13. Wrong. DutchLiberal is correct in the spelling and context of

the word 'offense.'

[xchrom]

14. ah. my bad. nt

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. Please tell me it isn't really necessary.

[xchrom]

10. it is necessary. nt

[Control-Z]

17. No. Not for this one. -eom

[BlooInBloo]

12. It's not.

[Name removed]

15. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tuvor]

5. Credit where credit is due, and link to the original 12 Reasons PDF

"GatorGSA continued its tradition of clever, irreverent, edit: and SARCASTIC flyers on Valentine's Day 2004 with a dirty dozen reasons why homosexual marriage is "bad" and why gay people should not be allowed to get married. After 2 months, we have just reached 100,000 hits!"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=153736&mesg_id=153975

The original website is no more, but I've uploaded the PDF for anyone who wants it. Hope you don't mind having to wait a couple minutes before the site will let you download it.

http://uploading.com/files/2NDR78ZV/gaymarriage.pdf.html

[DutchLiberal]

6. I didn't know of that site. But if that's where it originated, they deserve credit.

[tuvor]

9. It pops up on DU from time to time, and deservedly so...

I've edited the message with a link to the original PDF.

[csziggy]

7. ..

:yourock: :applause:

[nichomachus]

16. Top One Reason "Opposite Marriage" should not be legal

1. It's a failure. Over 50 percent of "opposite" marriages end in divorce. Any other government sponsored program that had a 50 percent failure rate would be stopped.

[Flabbergasted]

18. This is brilliant. nt

[napoleon_in_rags]

19. Simply brilliant. Rec'd. nt