I get now, more so than ever before, that what I am feeling is absolute frustration.
I posted this today:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1076327And a short time later my daughter came over and we went to the creek so she could play. Our first real outing (other than feeding the geese) this year.
I met a homeless couple living in a tent. Hidden from the main road.
Baby girl and I played for a while, wading, etc, and I stopped to talk to them before I left.
He is from El Salvador and was working at a local fast food Chinese food joint and lost his job. His family all lives in Southern CA. They have been living there at the creek for 3 weeks. I let him know that the company I work for (I am off right now on disability but going back soon) is hiring. He has no car, no bike, and little money to offer someone for gas.
The food they have is basic and in Kroger and UDF bags (both stores are close to the creek).
A good looking young couple who kept looking at me and baby girl as we walked and laughed - and I wondered if they had dreams of kids someday as well.
I wanted to do something. I still do.
I can't give them a place to stay. Won't have any money for a week or so at best (still fighting with the idiots at the insurance company). If I had a bike I would drive it down there and give it to them. None of my clothes would fit them (well, maybe the shirts would, and I can find some spare ones).
I feel frustrated. If the cops find out they are living there they will kick them out. I can't call anyone to help them out (I am thinking here of the 311 number the city has for people needing assistance/help which is usually busy anyway) because once it is found out they are living illegally they will be turned out with no where to go.
As with my post earlier I feel frustrated as well because I cannot help my X and her husband either right now (I have helped them sell some things and helped out when he was in the hospital, but that does not help today).
It hit me that I am really upset because I feel powerless to help those I want to help. It sucks.
They cannot even build a fire at night (and I have firewood I could take them) out of fear the cops will find them there. Over the years I have given rides to people broken down out in the middle of the high desert in CA, gave people change when I had it, helped folks find jobs, fixed computers for free (and met some really nice people that way), etc - but now...what can I do to help?
I would like to give them a ride somewhere - but I barely have enough right now for gas.
People think about being a hero. They daydream about being a navy seal and doing something heroic to save America from the evil forces over in the Middle East.
There are two couples I know right now, one living in a tent and one about to lose everything, who could use some heroes right now.
No training needed. No guns or multi-million dollar helicopters are needed either.
And I wish I could be that hero. That guy who could swoop in during the dead of night and save them.
And it hit me - no matter how much I wish I could be that hero I am in a bad spot myself and all I can offer them...well all I can offer is to tell them that someone out there has not forgotten them and that others do care.