There was once a contender named Newt.

[Hubert Flottz]

Who was crazy as any old coot,
He's as nuts as the loons,
Sings the same old sick tunes,
So the GOPers they gave him the boot.

That republican hopeful called Mitt,
Has ideas that's total horse shit,
He was born with a spoon,
Like the silvery moon,
Can't let go of the government's tit.

A has-been named Queen Sarah Palin,
Had a habit of weepin' and wailin',
She just can't stand rejection,
Can't achieve an erection,
So her plans to screw us are all failin'

A fellow named Mike Huckabee,
Spent half of his life on his knees,
But he gets paid by FOX,
To use Rupert's soap box,
To propel his bullshit on the breeze.

Edit...A limerick is a good way to express your "love" :sarcasm: to the GOPer asshole of your choice...I invite you to do so here!

[RoccoR5955]

1. I love it...

And may steal those limericks!

[Hubert Flottz]

2. They are up for grabs.

I'm just here to spoil their party.

[AC_Mem]

3. Awesome!

Writing funny poetry like this is fun - I totally appreciate it!

Great creative work :)

Annette

[Hubert Flottz]

4. It really does come from the heart you know.

Thank you.

[Ichingcarpenter]

5. Oh yes I'm the great pretender

I was singing the verses to that song.
Is that what you took it from because it fits so well.

[Hubert Flottz]

8. No...but I see what you mean.

LOL...

They, asked Newt how he knew,
His career was through,
Ohhhhhhh...Ohhh,
He of course replies,
All them gals he rides,
Cannot be denied.

Newt gets tween their thighs.
Newt gets tween their thighs.

They say some day he'll find,
Some new gals behind,
Ohhhhh...Ohhh,
With his pants on fire,
Newt's a frakin' liar,
Newt Geeeets Tweeeeen Their Thiiiiiiiighiiiis!

[lunatica]

6. Nice talent you have there

}(

[Fly by night]

7. Great stuff! Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.

They're good for one, though not necessarily for the other.

Thanks for the laugh this morning. Much appreciated. I haven't written limericks but here's a verse from a long cowboy poem I wrote a few years ago, about the differences between "old boys" and men. I think it relates to the sizable stable of horse-shit Rethug candidates, none of whom is either a Thoroughbred or even a pony.

... There’s lots of differences between old boys and men.
One’s life is real, the other’s pretend.
One kind grows up, the other just ages.
One’s life’s a book, the other’s blank pages.
One does the work, the other is lazy.
One is clear-headed, the other's is hazy.
One is so thankful for every little thing he has tasted.
The other only wants more, he just wants to get wasted.
A man takes his time, an old boy’s just hasted
and frazzled and futile and fickle and harried.
While one plays around, the other gets married.

This list could go on, it’d take a while to get through.
But women know the difference, and hens they do too.
But hens could care less, they make do with their roosters.
While women love men, they’re men’s biggest boosters....

[Hubert Flottz]

9. Great poem.

I approve of your message!

[pipi_k]

10. A little short in the creativity department...

this AM but I will share a limerick I read in a whole book of them long ago...


"There once was a Statesman named Smutz,
Whose shit was all stuck in his guts,
He farted a blast,
Left his hearers aghast,
Yet nothing emerged but some nuts."

:+

[Hubert Flottz]

11. LOL!

Good one!

[Uben]

12. Okay, I'm waiting for the "Nantucket" post

No one has mentioned dear Mitch
He'll be the conservatives bitch
Come next election
He'll be their selection
Yay!, more tax cuts for the rich!

[Hubert Flottz]

13. Old Mitch looks like Woodsy the Owl,

It's a cinch he's the Koch Brother's Pal,
You can tell where he's been,
By that goo on his chin,
And his constant intestinal growl.

House Majority Leader Cantor,
Is another of Koch brother's whores,
Don't have time to catch bass,
'cause he's kissing their ass.
I can't wait till he's kicked out the door.

[AC_Mem]

14. I wish I could rec a reply

LOL - that was great!

[Hubert Flottz]

15. You'll never see neocons pick,

Anyone who's not some major of dick,
All their stories pure shit,
'cause they care not a whit,
Grab your bullshit preventers right quick.

On her bandaid a big purple heart,
'bout as comely as beer and egg farts,
Her false choppers all green,
She was ugly and mean,
You could tell that she wasn't too smart.

[tabbycat31]

16. Let me try

There once was a loon named Michele
Batshit craziness makes her seem unwell
She thinks she can win it all
But it will just be a mighty fall
And the teabags will all go to hell

[Hubert Flottz]

17. Very good Job Tabbycat.

The GOPers who'd vote for Michele,
Must be under some evil ass spell,
'cause she's dumb as a rock,
Always spouting a crock,
And exuding a bull-shitty smell.

[Kurovski]

18. K&R

:-)

I like original material.

[Hubert Flottz]

19. Thanks for the K&R

:hi:

If you check out the GOP crew,
There ain't nothin' that they wouldn't screw,
For a goat they will pet,
And their diapers they'll wet,
Hide your daughters and favorite pet gnu.

[Kurovski]

23. NOT THE GNU!

:rofl:

You goofball. :hi:

[Hubert Flottz]

24. The repubs say they're servants of Gawd,

But they glorify Sarah and Todd,
As they flaunt their tea bag,
And praise Michele the hag,
I believe that they've done shot their wad.

[LeftishBrit]

20. There is a rich fellow called Trump

Who is really a nasty old grump.
He's a paranoid birther,
And maybe flat-earther,
And his prospects are now in a slump.

[Hubert Flottz]

22. Good One!

They all listen to Beck and Limbo,
And they claim to be brave and gung-ho,
When there's fighting to do,
They say why not send you,
'cause we're just too damned busy to go.

It's the fault of Obama they say,
And they whine on TV every day,
They've forgotten George Bush,
Kept his head up his tush,
Now they want the old people to pay.

There's a place in New York called Wall Street,
Where republicans kneel at their feet,
And their deregulation,
Will destroy our nation,
And we won't have no groceries to eat.

I wish I had plenty of gas,
To go fishing for walleye and bass,
But I can't afford shit'
I ain't lyin' a bit,
And I'm starting to get the red ass.

[H2O Man]

21. Outstanding.

Much appreciated.