Slowly going back to school. Just a life update. Rambling post.

[Locut0s]

So I've posted about my problems on here before. The cliff notes are as follows:

-29 yrs old
-Life long issues with Social Anxiety and clinical depression
-Still live at home with the parents
-Been in and out of university 4 or 5 times due to #2 above. Usually dropped out mid semester.
-Been working retail jobs for the past 5 years or so
-Never had a girl friend, never even kissed a girl, still virgin
-Have managed to save up about $65k in savings (also spent about 15-20k on toys)

Anyway I've made the decision to make another try at going back to school. My father teaches at a local college and is going to pull a few strings to get me into a few courses at the last minute. I plan to do a few courses at his college then use them as transfer credits to go to university later. I went to SFU before but there are too many ghosts there for me to go back there, I'll likely transfer to UBC (these are the 2 large universities here in BC Canada). I am by no means over my depression and anxiety and I know it's something that I will have to continue to battle. However I feel that the past few years experience I've had working retail have helped to mature and strengthen me against life's slings and arrows. Though I have to maintain my vigilance and watch out for bumps on the road and self induced problems, like excess drinking. If anything these years working retail have helped me to socialize a lot better which is definitely a boon if nothing else. Though I'm still out of my depth when it comes to the fairer sex as they say :P This only becomes more difficult as I get older as most of the women you meet at this point expect at least some level of experience. I've talked about this on other forums and usually get mixed suggestions. Everything from the expected 'just give yourself time and you will meet someone' to the inevitable 'just hire a hooker and get it over with, it will make things easier' etc...

As for school this semester I'm going to be taking some lower level breadth requirements like English and a mix of some math courses. Ultimately I plan to work towards a degree in math and or computer science. I've always been good at math, even at the university level, and greatly enjoyed it (well when my depression didn't get in the way). Another possibility is Physics and or Cosmology, another interest of mine.

Anyway long boring post, just felt like venting.

[Warpy]

1. Why not just do one thing at a time? Get that education

and work on the social anxiety while you do it.

My grandfather wasn't married until he was 47, his first marriage. It's not unheard of, delaying it until it's right.

When you exist outside the norms, don't bother trying to play by the rules.

(and yeah, I still don't know what normal is supposed to be)

[Drale]

2. With the exception of me being 23 and not dealing with depression

I have the same backstory. I spent 5 years at the local community college and a year ago I finally decided what I wanted to do and decided to transfer to a 4 year university (University of Illinois at Chicago). I am making a huge effort to change my life and am actually looking forward to going away this fall.

PS: Being a "geek" as it sounds like you are and I defiantly am is far more cool then people give it credit. Just go to Comic con and look around. Chicago Comic con is coming up and I am extremely excited about it.

PPS: If you have to do a foreign language do it right away, I didn't and now I'm stuck with spanish at the very end. Just a piece of advice from one long term student to another.

[Botany]

3. I wish you well

From what I read you suffer from being a human and you understand that you have some issues ..... find somebody that
you can talk to and work with on becoming what you would like to be ...... the journey of a thousands miles starts w/ the
first step.



Butchart Gardens and Killer Whales might help

[graywarrior]

4. The school you are going to mostl likely has an Accomodation Department

They will give you a form for you to have your doctor(s) fill out describing why you may need an accomodation i.e. extended time to complete homework, etc, quiet room to take tests, etc. Check it out.

[Locut0s]

9. Thanks I'll look into that! nt

[arcane1]

5. Success in class is a great esteem-booster

even more so if it can be parlayed into income. I had some similar struggles in my 20's and things didn't turn out too bad, and would have turned out better, probably, if I had the chance for one more shot at school.

Don't over-worry about the lack of experience. I have a friend who lost his virginity in his early 30's, and he's pretty happy. The key is not to judge yourself by other people's standards. Not all women will be turned off by a lack of experience- my friend lost his virginity to a woman who, years later, was my girlfriend for a while. From the way she described it, his lack of experience wasn't a big deal to her. However, it did make her feel motivated to give it her all :)

[safeinOhio]

6. Went back in later life

and got my degree at age 50.
3 things that helped me get a Manum cum-laude.

1 sit in the front row

2 never miss a class


3 complete everything on time.


Went back after a major depression and I think school helped more than meds.

[Odin2005]

7. Good luck!

[Dappleganger]

8. Not boring at all, the path of life is rarely straightforward.

Best of luck to you in pushing forward. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back is still progress, right?

[Locut0s]

12. Indeed, thanks. nt

[Ilsa]

10. Ilsa wishes you the best of luck in

all that you are trying to accomplish. There is nothing wrong with living at home, especially in this economy, and if your family is emotionally supportive.

Good luck with your studies. Sticking with your interests and talents is a good plan, I think.

PS: I went back to college at age 35 for an additional two years, new degree. I enjoy learning.

[Locut0s]

11. Thank you! nt

[Search and Destroy]

13. 23 here. Have left university twice due to financial reasons. It really really sucks

I'm Canadian too, from Ontario. Financial aid is based on the income of your parents. My parents make too much money for me to qualify for any aid, but they refuse to give me any financial help at all. It really sucks watching your friends graduate and go on to grad school, or get really amazing jobs, while being left behind and unable to get back into school.

[Locut0s]

14. Sorry to hear that. Do you work while going to school?...

I'm lucky in that I've saved up enough to go full time without worrying about money. But even so I'm thinking of getting a part time job 2-3 days a week or so. During the periods you were not going to university did you work? If so were you able to save any money? If you were then you might want to think about taking some time off to work and save up a bit of a financial buffer. It will take some of the stress off. Hope things work out!

[Search and Destroy]

15. Yes, but I only make enough to cover living expenses.

Tuition is just too expensive. Luckily I count as "independent" from my parents as of this year, so I'm trying to go back at least for the winter term. It's just ridiculous though considering many of my friends qualify for several thousand dollars from OSAP, yet they live at home with their parents and their parents pay for their tuition. They end up going on vacations or shopping sprees with their OSAP money, yet I get nothing just because my parents are rich greedy bastards.