On kids... and behavior and kid free zones

[nadinbrzezinski]

there are several things that do come to mind... as I read the threads.

Yes, there are kids who are brats... and that is a MINORITY and yes that is poor parenting. There is an even smaller subset where parenting plays a very small role, if any.. due to other issues. But let's stop this about there is no problem, there is a problem. I will hazard to say that it is actually larger than it used to be... and it has to do with the breakdown of the family.

Think about it... how many of you live near oh grand parents, aunties or uncles? See where I am going with this?

Yes all kids misbehave at some point... and yes parents should take such kid out until it calms down.. yes there is something to be said about brain development. How many of these parents have been given this advise? How many of this overworked parents actually have time to read Dr. Spock... oh popular when my mom raised me... alas she had LOTS of help. This help is simply NOT present today, period... not in American society. In more traditional societies it still exists. Incidentally CHINA... is seeing similar issues... since moms no longer have an extended family that has a child experience to help them... think about that one.

So while I am annoyed at the brat... and yes they are... that starts screeching louder than my parrots and runs around and all that.. what we are partly seeing is a SYMPTOM of a larger societal issue.

I am also willing to bet the farm that bratty kids are not a new phenomena either..nor is bad parenting a new phenomena, but it might be a higher problem due to the ties that are simply no longer there.

Now there is more, if a business establishment decides to make theirs a kid's free zone... I suspect the market (in this case) will determine their success or failure. Now when things like AIRLINES make this a policy. I start having issues.

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

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[izquierdista]

2. It doesn't have to be just relatives

If you live in stable communities where the same neighbors have been there for 10, 20, 30 years, people who are not blood relatives have a way of being extended family. My elementary school principal lived down the street from us, so there was no way I could have gotten away with misbehaving at school.

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. Exactly, but the average worker stays at a job for five years

and people move, often.

So that prevents those bonds from being created.

[SlimJimmy]

4. If I want my grandchildren to have fun and not worry about noise levels, I

take them to Chuckie Cheese. If I take them to a restaurant, they sit and engage in quiet conversation or just eat their meal. It's not rocket science at all. It's simply a matter of teaching them manners at a young age. I have little patience for parents that sit silently while their children run amok in public.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. Exactly and I am glad you are there

for your grandkids...

[BobbyBoring]

6. That's very true!

I'm sure many young children don't know who one parent or the other is. It used to be people got married and stuck together until they died. Now, spouses are like disposable razors. Just check em and get a new one.

This is one of the very few things I agree with the right on. The decline of the average family has really hurt America~

[nadinbrzezinski]

8. But the decline has come also from their economic policies

the policies force people to work two and three jobs. Yes there is a correlatation, direct mind you, between right to work states and divorce rates.

[BobbyBoring]

12. You're right again!

:toast:

[TNLib]

7. Also something else to consider 25% of all children in the US live in poverty

25%!!!! Impoverished parents generally never had a class in developmental psychology or access to education that would help them be a better parent.

I think some of my general psych classes helped me to understand basic concepts of positive and negative reinforcement that help with raising a child.

[nadinbrzezinski]

9. Absolutety and they do not have the family

or other social safety net to help them. I mean some of these things you can also learn outside of a formal education, usually grandma is a great source...

[hobbit709]

10. We certainly didn't have much when I grew up.

But we learned early on what was acceptable behavior in public.
First you got The Look and that if didn't get your attention, you knew what was coming next.
It didn't take more than once of sitting in the car with no supper to teach the lesson.

[nadinbrzezinski]

11. Yeah but let me make a couple assumptions which the OP refers to

when you were growing up people were willing to give you the look... these days it is less likely.

Also I am going to assume, please correct me, that your neighbors \ family were a tad more constant as a presence than today. I mean even the poor move a tad more than they used to, Some due to disaster, others due to job seeking. In a way that military life style of moving every three years is now almost a constant.

If I am way off base please correct me. I mean, I think some of this is self inflicted (as a society) due to choices made at the policy level