Your Thanks to a Combat Vet will only hurt him...

[catnhatnh]

...and mostly because he will not even know how he feels.

If he feels thankful for surviving, he is assailed by guilt over those who didn't.

If he feels pride, it is his own and private.

If he feels guilt, he needs quietude in which to resolve his conflict.

If he feels isolated, only another combat vet can connect.


As a non-combat vet I am mostly embarrassed when thanked-I did a job and was paid, and fed, and housed, and cared for doing. Almost no job has those benefits today...

But too many people are seeing warrior Gods instead of conflicted, confused kids put through a Hell they cannot begin to comprehend and "thank" them for the scars that may never heal and service they may regret or totally reject. Do they ever feel pride? Yes they do. It is about surviving in Hell and until you do you aught not presume to comment on it.

If they march in a parade, then attend and applaud. If they tell a story, then listen and learn.

The "kid" may be 60 now and a Vietnam vet-and as conflicted as if he came home yesterday.

But the combat vet is a special animal and you will never be able to relate.

Because I am a "Vietnam Era" vet-and I can't.

[NuclearDem]

1. " If he feels guilt, he needs quietude in which to resolve his conflict."

No.

No no no no no no no no no.

A thousand times NO.

You should never leave anyone afflicted with combat stress alone unless you want their blood on your hands.

[MrModerate]

2. "Ought not to presume to comment"? Sorry. You don't get to make that choice for me.

I think your point of view -- however evocatively expressed -- is just that: your point of view. Most combat vets I know (and I know three quite well and a handful as passing acquaintances) have successfully integrated their experiences to the point where a simple, social, "thanks for what you did" is not a major personal crisis and in fact is appreciated.

People respond to things differently.

[HuckleB]

6. +1

[sailor65]

3. If "They" can't relate to us,

then why do you think you can?

"It is about surviving in Hell and until you do you aught not presume to comment on it."
Why do you think you're qualified to make that statement?

[NuclearDem]

4. Besides...wouldn't anyone who's been through a traumatic experience be able to relate?

That's what combat is--a traumatic experience. People who've been rescued from burning buildings, been the victim of gang violence, been in a serious car accident, been onboard an airplane that's malfunctioned...they can all relate.

This whole "you'll never understand what combat vets go through" unfortunately just perpetuates a worship of militarism.

[oneshooter]

5. Your thanks would be about 30 years too late. n/t

[lonestarnot]

7. IBTL

:popcorn:

[MrModerate]

8. Who would lock such a lightweight thread? This is the Twinkie of discussions.

[SixString]

9. BREAKING RANKS: Why Some Veterans Hate it When You Say 'Thank You'

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x13682

[elocs]

10. I think each vet is different and there's no one size fits all answer in relating to them

or in speaking with them. There just isn't any more than there is with the rest of us.