Breaking News...The Rapture Is Back On..Oct 21st

[rsmith6621]

http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog/2011/10/06/harold-camping-predicts-oct-21-rapture-again/

So, the rapture didn’t happen last time preacher Harold Camping said it would. When May 21 finally rolled around, there weren’t any trumpet sounds and Camping — along with millions of other Christians — didn’t rise up into the sky.

Maybe the end wasn’t nigh after all. But a whole lot of atheists in Seattle had a fun party and raised a few thousand dollars for a non-religious camp for kids.

Now, Camping is saying the real rapture happens later this month. May 21 was a deadline of sorts — an “invisible judgment day.” In other words, if you weren’t saved then, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble come Oct. 21.

[madinmaryland]

1. Uhmm. The Rapture happened tonight. The Skankmees lost tonight!!

:woohoo:

[craigmatic]

2. Bullshit the Macho Man Randy Savage sacrificed himself to stop it.

That's right the Macho Man saved the world you heard it from me first.

[pinboy3niner]

3. In a way, I wish it were real

Both the 'Rapture' and the date. Imagine the improvement in the world if the Mothership called these yahoos home. :evilgrin:

[Warren DeMontague]

16. I had sort of a free floating idea for a screenplay

where all these idiots get 'raptured' and everyone else discovers how fucking GREAT it is now that they've left. Meanwhile, the people who think they're going to meet Jeebus are actually kidnapped for something like an interdimensional real-estate time share pitch/ginsu knife demonstration.

Feel free to take it and run with it, if you want.

[pinboy3niner]

18. LOL!

Not sure about the time-share/Ginsu knife hell. The easy scenario is the simple Rapture-to-hell--but that's TOO easy.

How about being Raptured to a never-ending Palin/Bachmann speaking event? (In the Rapture, UN Humanitarian Anti-Torture Conventions don't apply.)

Feel free to take it and run with it, if you want. :)

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. It's a COOKBOOK!

[pinboy3niner]

22. LOL! "Mr. Chambers, don't get on that ship!" :)

A classic!

[Fire Walk With Me]

24. Now a never-ending Bachmann/Palin speaking engagement...that's horror!

:eek:

[pinboy3niner]

26. I actually got a dose of that

I livestreamed a Bachmann fundraiser last year when Palin came out to support her--and even Romney was there.

But the most ironic moment didn't involve Palin or Bachmann. It was when they played Romney onstage to Fogerty's 'Fortunate Son.' Some genius thought it would be really cool to bring Romney on with this:

Fortunate Son

Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, they're red, white and blue
And when the band plays "Hail to the chief"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no

Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don't they help themselves, oh
But when the taxman comes to the door
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son, no
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no

Some folks inherit star spangled eyes
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask them, "How much should we give?"
Ooh, they only answer More! more! more! yoh

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no military son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, one

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one, no no no
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate son, no no no

--Credence Clearwater Revival, written by John Fogerty

:rofl:

[Fire Walk With Me]

27. Uh oh! :D

[sce56]

25. Actually it was depicted by the Prophet Rod Sterling

Kanamit Cookbook - Recipe book created by towering bald aliens with pronounced foreheads on the episode "To Serve Man" broadcast March 2, 1962 on the sci-fi series THE TWILIGHT ZONE/ABC/CBS/1959-65.

The episode began with announcer Rod Serling saying "Respectfully submitted for your perusal: a Kanamit. Height: a little over 9 feet. Weight: in the neighborhood of 350 pounds. Origin: Unknown. Motives? Therein hangs a tale."

The Kanamits were representatives from a distant galaxy who promised to submit plans to the members of the United Nations which would end all war, famine and disease on the planet Earth. Of course, these aliens were doing this out of the kindness of their hearts. NOT!

After the Kanamits exterminated all forms of violence and disease, they intended to turn the Earth into a gigantic stock yard using the human population as food source for their civilization.

Initially, U.N. cryptographers decoded the front page of a book left by one of the aliens. It read "To Serve Man." Thinking the title reflected the altruistic intentions of the aliens, the governments of the world submitted to the kindness of the Kanamits. However, it was soon discovered that the book entitled "To Serve Man" was an alien cookbook.

Susan Cummings played the woman who screamed "It's a cookbook!" at the end of this 1962 TWILIGHT ZONE shocker. The episode was based on a story by Damon Knight.See also - "V"

[pinboy3niner]

28. Nice graphic!

:rofl:

[Rabblevox]

4. Awsome!!! I'm scheduled for a medical procedure that day that I'd really, REALLY like to skip. /nt

[Rabblevox]

6. Oh, wait, I forgot. Atheists don't get raptured. Dammit, I guess procedure is on. /nt

[pinboy3niner]

9. Too bad--looks like you're gonna get 'Ruptured' instead

Unless you get saved or 'reborn' between now and then. It's a little bit tempting now, isn't it? :evilgrin:

[woo me with science]

5. Does this mean there won't be any anti-abortion haunted houses this year? nt

[kestrel91316]

7. Yay. I know whose car I want.

[givemebackmycountry]

11. Me Too! A Black Maserati has been parked a few doors down from me for two weeks now.

When I stood next to it to admire it, I noticed that the roof line was about mid-chest to my 6'4" frame.
It was parked, and it looked like it was going 180 mph.

SO!

Back off heathens, this one is mine.

Oh! you say.
What if the owner is also not "rapture worthy"?
Don't make a difference.
I'm taking it anyway, and I'm getting lost in the post Jesus calls everyone home confusion.
At 180 mph.

Baby.

[Bozita]

8. I want the next Rapture to occur a day before absentee ballots can be cast in 2012

[glinda]

10. We can cross ref. this with this post on DU

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=245&topic_id=146135&mesg_id=146135

uh buoy

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

12. It's worse than the rapture...its the rise of the Poultry-Geists!

A Poultry-Geist will be every toilet!

[pinboy3niner]

13. They're baaaaaack!

At least it only happens every 18 years. :rofl:

[Kalidurga]

14. Darn I have to work that day...

Guess I will have to do what I always do on these occasions popcorn and a "scary" movie...

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

20. I just realized that I wrote that they 'will be every toilet'

not that they will be IN every toilet.

I hope I don't have to learn to use a Poultry-Geist as a toilet.
That would be very awkward. If I had a 'movement', it might get pissed and bite me in the ass!

[pinboy3niner]

23. Either way, you're screwed

Best you can do is either apply LOTS of lotion...or be like the Pope in the old joke:

"Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

:evilgrin:

[Lucian]

15. Why is this nutcase even relevant?

[Warren DeMontague]

17. And just like last time, we'll be alternately berated for mocking the "sincere religious beliefs" of

these people, and constantly hectored to

STOP TALKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE WHY DO WE NEED TO KEEP HEARING ABOUT IT I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT NO "REAL CHRISTIANS" BELIEVE IN IT ANYWAY SO STOP TALKIIIIING ABOOOOOOOUT ITTTTTTTTT PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!

[Fire Walk With Me]

21. Go away! (swat) Go AWAY! (SWAT). Pesky rapture...