THE 2010 “GOLDEN HELICOPTER PARENTING AWARDS”

[HuckleB]

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/the-2010-golden-helicopter-parenting-awards/

"...

How wacky was 2010 when it came to insisting our kids are in peril, pedophiles are everywhere and the only good parent is a helicopter parent? Check out our Golden Helicopters:

...

What Exciting New Career Beckons If You Live Alone with Your Cats and Talk to Your Toothbrush? Just how fragile are today’s kids? Schools have started hiring “friendship coaches” to discourage students from having best friends, because when they do, someone could feel left out. (Like…a Friendship Coach?) http://aol.it/avsWyx

...

And Once You Find a Grenade in a Cul de Sac You Take it Home and Have a Tea Party: After a forgotten stuffed animal was spotted on a quiet Orlando street, the nearby school went into lockdown. The bomb squad was summoned. The bomb guys blew up the stuffed animal, which turned out to be…a stuffed animal. But as one resident explained, “Once you see that it’s a stuffed animal, your mind starts racing with all kinds of…crazy stuff.” http://bit.ly/gnR2au

...

Hi Snookums, How Was Your Day? (As If I Didn’t Know): Japanese inventors unveiled a GPS device children wear over their shirts that also takes photos and monitors their heart rate. That way, if their heart rate goes up, parents can take a photo of whatever is scaring their kids: http://aol.it/9HOM6e

..."


-----------------------------------------


There are many more very bizarre award winners at the link, as well as some positive moments in modern parenting. We have created one wackadoodle world, where up is down, down is up, and no one should move, lest they put themselves at risk of stubbing a toe.

:toast:

[HopeHoops]

1. Hell, I would have had that shirt off and tied to a VW bug in 2 minutes.

"I must have lost it."

[HuckleB]

2. Safe science.

This one is killing me...

"A school in suburban Colorado encouraged children to participate in the annual science fair — so long as their projects did not include organisms (living or dead), plants in soil, chemicals, microbial cultures, fungi, molds, bacteria, parasites, or flammable substances, all of which were banned. http://bit.ly/d6oGYc"

[Warpy]

3. I honestly think it's a result of limiting family size to one or two children

due to declining wages and the necessity of having both parents work for paychecks. With fewer eggs in the genetic survival basket, parents tend to be over protective of the ones they have instead of telling them to go play in the traffic, 50s style.

These kids who are so overscheduled and oversupervised are going to have real problems coping with down time when they grow up. This might be the perfect generation of workaholics the corporations have always longed for.

Poor kids will be much better adjusted since their parents don't have the means to schedule every waking hour with supervised activities.

[XemaSab]

6. Either the kids will be workaholic burnouts

or they'll discover pot and go to Nepal for months on end to meditate in an ashram. :P

[HuckleB]

8. Or they will spin round and round, with years spent in both arenas.

[WinkyDink]

14. As an only child who gratefully had parents WITH THEIR OWN LIVES, I disagree with your premise.

[FiveGoodMen]

4. I think the majority of parents are completely unqualified for the job.

Some 60-second scare piece on the local news is usually the basis for their parenting philosophy.

[HuckleB]

7. All parents are unqualified for the job. Always have been.

Luckily, kids are typically very resilient.

[WinkyDink]

15. Maybe the first time, but for many, not even then. Of course, I don't mean today.

[The Straight Story]

5. K&R - do they have one for just adults, things like

"We don't people using e-cigs either because it goes against the social norm" type things? :)

[vi5]

9. That stuff is ridiculous...

..and parents definitely tend to be more overprotective nowadays.

But there are few more sanctimonious groups than the whole "Free Range Parenting" advocates. It's bad enough when they are actually parents but the people who lecture about that stuff without even having kids are even more insufferable.

Yes, as with everything people take it too far. But the people who like to imply nothing is different nowadays and we should just all act like our parents did in the 60's and 70's are idiotic as well.

[HuckleB]

10. Now that is hilarious.

Most people who identify with the Free Range Parents do so because other parents have attacked them with today's usual fear mongering and safety obsessions. Sanctimony may exist everywhere, but it certainly is not worse with Free Parent advocates than it is with the helicopter safety freaks.

[vi5]

11. It absolutely is worse....

Show me the equivalent website called "Helicopter Parents" where parents proudly proclaim how overprotective they are, and where the sole purpose seems to be to mock and laugh at how the other people are raising their kids.

Honestly, raise your kids how you want to. The vast majority of people really don't give a damn either way. If someone is that defensive about their parenting that just because some naggy, overprotective weenie parent hurt their wittle feelings with something they said that they actually have to go out and form or join a group about, then it really says more about their own insecurity than it does anythign else.

To most reasonable people it's just as insufferable to be lectured about or hear some yuppie yammer on about how much more enlightened a parent they are because they let Little Johnny take the subway or cross the highway by himself as it is and tsk tsk anyone who disagrees with them as it is to hear about the dangers of giving your kids non-free range eggs or how they don't let their kids climb trees because it's unsafe and how bad a parent other people are for not being as protective.

They're your kids. Do what you think is best for them, cross your fingers and hope they turn out o.k., and stop being so worried about what other people are doing, whether you think those other parents are too permissive or not permissive enough.

Believe me I'm far more on the more permissive range of things than probably 95% of the parents I know and the parents of my kids friends and I've had to hear about it from the school and other parents. Boo Hoo. But if I'm ever so pathetic and insecure as to join a group about it or give myself a lame name because of it, please put me out of my misery.

[HuckleB]

12. And it gets even more hilarious...

There are plenty of helicopter parenting web sites, magazines, etc... available. The lectures are coming from the helicopter parents. You appear to be mistaking parents responding to those lectures as something else. Sorry, not even in the ballpark.

[vi5]

13. Again, I don't care....

My point is, that people who spend this much time worrying about what other parents are doing and putting themselves above other parenting should maybe spend more time focusing on just raising their own goddamned kids and less worried about what other people are doing. Get over their stupid insecurities.

And there's also a lot of blurred line between the stupidities. I know "free range" parents who won't let their kids play video games because they think it's more important for them to go out and explore and take risks and be free range and live life. I know "helicopter" parents who won't let their kids play video games because they think they are a bad influence. And you know what, both groups of parents kids are fucking anti-social monsters who the majority of other parents don't want their kids around both because the kids are bad and the parents are insufferable.

If someone is that confident in their own parenting technique then jesus christ just raise your kid and sleep comfortably in the knowledge that they are obviously going to grow up to be these wonderful, brilliant, well adjusted kids with absolutely no problems or issues and they'll be so much better than everyone else.

Bottom line is that if someone identifies and names their parenting technique and views it as superior to anyone elses and posts or writes on a website about it, then there's a 99.9% chance they are a complete insufferable asshole.

But hey. Knock yourself out.