The absolutely worst FAIL Christmas products foisted off on the public you can remember

[DainBramaged]

I'll start;


Presenting the toothbrush sterilizer. I remember the infomercials trying to scare us into to buying one of these because of the threat of germs on your toothbrush.


There are more germs in your mouth. And yes I remember the Mythbuster episode dealing with fecal germs.

[Quantess]

1. Playmobil's Security Checkpoint

[hlthe2b]

2. How quaint... the "PG" version...

:eyes:

[musette_sf]

5. "quaint", like the Geneva Convention

:crazy:

[musette_sf]

3. Chia Obama

[sakabatou]

4. Santa seems to be an ass himself...

[ZombieHorde]

7. I would call that billboard a win. nt

[calimary]

41. Who put that one up? The koch brothers?

BAAAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!!

:thumbsdown:

[NHDemProg]

74. It's Clear Channel billboards...

...more "in your face" from the GOP mouthpieces.

[Cirque du So-What]

6. Does THIS ring a bell?

[Cleita]

14. People actually bought those.

I was in people's houses who had them on the wall in their family rooms.

[cherokeeprogressive]

60. Got one in my Man Cave, right next to the Dodger jersey autographed by

Steve Garvey, Davey Lopes, Bill Russell, and Ron Cey.

One Man's Treasure is Another Man's Trash, I always say...

[Codeine]

18. Oh Jebus. Remember the year every store had that fucking thing

hollering? Enough to make you want to eat a revolver.

[Buns_of_Fire]

33. I apologize. That was usually me, walking by and turning them all on.

Needless to say, very few people would be caught dead around me in places like Spencer's Gifts.:blush: (Gets me out of a lot of shopping expeditions, though!)

[SmileyRose]

53. heh

I do that in the stuffed toy aisle - go up and down and set off every noise making thingy I can find. It's a real score when I can get the ones at the end of the aisle going before the ones at the beginning have quit.

[delightfulstar]

36. I hated those things...

Really, I did.

[Odin2005]

47. My dad has that!

[krispos42]

54. About 5 years ago, right?

Like everybody all of a sudden got one for Christmas!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

59. They were even a plot element in The Sopranos

:-)

[cherish44]

80. The people I knew who had those received those a gag gifts

Although there are probably a few that would consider this novelty item high art

[cherish44]

81. Epilady hair removal things

About 20 years ago, everyone got one of those, used it a few times and realized it fucking HURT (mine also left big red welts) and threw them in a box that's probably still in their basement.

[Liberal_in_LA]

8. lol

[CurtEastPoint]

9. For those who remember this far back...

[DainBramaged]

17. Easy Money, the board game of the 80's

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

21. They have an updated version

Available at ThinkGeek for a ten spot

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/cubegoodies/c208/

[krispos42]

57. Bah, USB 1.1

When they upgrade it to USB 2.0, give me a call.

[logosoco]

39. I still have mine!

I guess I kept it because my kids and grandkids would never believe it unless they saw it. (It was given to me by my former step mother).

[SoCalDem]

66. I do too... Still in the original box..complete with $4.99 pice tag from Sears

[backwoodsbob]

75. i will buy the jarts set

right now.Love jarts

[SoCalDem]

76. A guy in the UK offered me $285.00..my son objected to the sale

:)

[SmileyRose]

56. I wish I still had mine. I really do.

[onethatcares]

10. * and cheney, 2000

what more needs to be said.

[Xicano]

11. lol

[davidinalameda]

12. burqua?

:shrug:

[pinboy3niner]

13. Looks like a computer pornsite personal privacy device

:evilgrin:

[Quantess]

15. It sure does!

Unfortunately, people would still be able to see him spankin' it on the park bench, whether or not they could see what's on the screen. :evilgrin:

[pinboy3niner]

16. Tacky Jesus--a "portrait" of Jesus with the eyes that follow you around

Not technically a Christmas product, but we received it as a Christmas gift many years ago from my in-laws, who were devout Catholics. It was so tacky, we literally rolled on the floor laughing so hard we cried, and it took a long time to stop laughing.

Of course, there was only one place for such a gift--the attic. But whenever the in-laws came from out-of-state to visit, we had to hang our Tacky Jesus in the living room. The trick was that we had to hang it a week before the visit because it took that long before we were able to walk by it without breaking into paroxysms of laughter and tears.

My reason for dubbing it Tacky Jesus should be self-explanatory. :rofl:

[hlthe2b]

19. You surely paired it with a velvet Elvis, didn't you?

:evilgrin:

[pinboy3niner]

20. Compared to Tacky Jesus, Velvet Elvis is fine art!

:rofl:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

51. I was given a Tacky Jesus picture once, as a gag gift.

It did make one gag, when not laughing. This one was especially tacky because his eyes blinked as he was hanging up on the cross! OMG! (literally, I guess). It was both horrifying and hilarious.

[yellerpup]

22. Salad shooter.

They don't even try anymore.

[DainBramaged]

28. They still sell those, whatajoke....

[yellerpup]

37. One of friend's mother-in-law gave her one every

Christmas. Gotta appreciate the thought that goes into a tradition like that. ;-)

Edited to add: I haven't heard the jingle in a few years (sweet relief) so I thought they might have given up.

[DainBramaged]

45. http://www.saladshooter.com/

Your SaladShooter slicer/shredder can do even more when you accessorize it.To get the most from your SaladShooter slicer/shredder, check out our selection of SPECIAL ACCESSORIES.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvL-I3Dfeqc

[yellerpup]

73. Wait a minute!

You're trying to Rick Roll me with the Salad Shooter jingle, aren't you?! :rofl:

[Codeine]

44. OOOH! That's the Professional model!

One wonders what the civilian version is like. :rofl:

[HopeHoops]

68. Dancing naked with a salad shooter.

[Codeine]

43. I actually have one of those somewhere.

A gift, obviously. The shit people think makes sense.

[yellerpup]

78. One of those items pick up at the last minute when they

realize they've forgotten all about you! :hi:

[Zanzobar]

23. The New Testament.

[uppityperson]

25. Fundie translation of the new testament.

good one

[timtom]

24. "Deep thinkers" who categorically

dismiss the New Testament.

[Zanzobar]

26. Not just that...

We categorically dismiss mythology as necessary to human development, and wonder if it may be damaging.

[timtom]

27. And quite evangelical in your zeal to spread your truth, too.

Almost like...like...a...oh, whatever. I've always preferred to share my opinions with less certitude, thus enhancing the enlightened dialogue form.

[Zanzobar]

29. But you assume that I must take you seriously.

I see no need to take as serious Jack and his beanstalk. Certainly, the morality play may be instructive.

[timtom]

32. How wonderfully obtuse.

Almost like a Zen koan.

I've got to go to bed now. It's been a long day. Enjoyed the exchange. Now THAT's heightened dialogue. Thanks.

[Zanzobar]

34. Good night.

[DainBramaged]

35. There are allways ninnys, Merry Christmas and kudos for your patience.

[DainBramaged]

30. Sega decided that they needed a platform for Crazy Taxi other than the arcades

so they dumped this gem on the market. (IMHO)




We bought one JUST to play Crazy Taxi Christmas 2001 and played for nearly a year before we realized he console was dead ended.

The Dreamcast was the first entry in the sixth generation of video game consoles and was released in late 1998, before its contemporaries — Sony's PlayStation 2, Microsoft's Xbox and the Nintendo GameCube.

Sega discontinued the Dreamcast in North America in March 2001 and withdrew entirely from the console hardware business, making it the company's final console and foray in the business. However, support of the system continued in Europe and Oceania until the end of 2002, as well as in Japan, where consoles were still sold until 2006 and new licensed games continued to be released. According to Bernie Stolar, former President and CEO of Sega of America, the Dreamcast was discontinued because the new chairman of Sega wanted the company to focus on software.<4>

Despite its short lifespan, the Dreamcast had received cult status for its history and features. It was widely hailed as ahead of its time, and is still held in high regard for pioneering online console gaming—it was the first console to include a built-in modem and Internet support for online play.<5><6> As of 2010, the console is still supported through various MIL-CD independent releases.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcast

[Odin2005]

48. OMG, I remember that POS. Sega's ignoble end as a console manufacturer.

[DainBramaged]

55. And we bought a 'bundle' from Costco instead of PS2

what a mistake.......$199.00 9 years ago.


Now my beautiful Daughter has PS3, XBox 360, Wii, PC, mac desktop and notebook............

[NuttyFluffers]

65. still my 2nd favorite console. :)

ahh, some of my best video game memories...

[chelsea0011]

31. "or will he be a dud?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHsQpTbQ9Uo&feature=player_detailpage

This is probably off message, but this was a big choice for Xmas back in the day and this game annoyed me to death.

[delightfulstar]

38. Fruitcake...

Syrupy, sticky candied fruits and nuts, typically soaked in cheap booze.

I'm sure there are here who like it, no offense, but I've never had one I've liked.

[Angry Dragon]

50. Send your fruitcake to the Angry Dragon

[TuxedoKat]

79. Here you go....

Grandma's Killer Fruitcake!

http://blogs.menupages.com/southflorida/2008/12/national_grandmas_killer_fruit.html

Brought to you by Dr. Elmo, of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer fame.

Welcome to DU too!

[eppur_se_muova]

40. How about pooping Santa and the pooping reindeer?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001KSRAIQ/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B000KAWL70&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1KFFBS8SW9B7TW4P6PPT

[Historic NY]

42. the gift for your freeper friends......JARTS.

[northzax]

49. ahh, lawn darts

is it a problem that I own most of the things pictured in this thread? I actually have TWO big mouth billy bass, one sings the Gimme back my Filet o'Fish song. that one cost me almost a dollar!

[cherokeeprogressive]

62. I fucking LOVE Lawn Darts. Still have the first and only set I ever bought.

We play every time there's a get-together, no matter whose house or what campground we might be at.

Zero injuries. We're not stupid.

[SoCalDem]

77. I have mine too..(pics)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=439&topic_id=69200&mesg_id=70818

[DainBramaged]

46. Who woulda thunk this would have made a splash....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8&feature=related

[msanthrope]

52. What? No "Bag O' Glass?" n/t

[Generic Other]

58. We got these this year

[lunatica]

71. I see they didn't put the split seem on "The Finger"

They could have turned those into a funny gag gift!

[cherokeeprogressive]

61. Pet Rocks, anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? n/t

[begin_within]

63. Talking Fly Swatter

[flying rabbit]

64. Ha !

got one of those this year. Amusing gag gift really.

[Norrin Radd]

67. This:

[Little Star]

69. Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

[Kingofalldems]

70. Snuggies

They are blankets America.

[NHDemProg]

72. Aqua Dots

...made by some Chinese company a few years back, but what they didn't realize is that when you put them water or kids put them in their mouths, one of the ingredients was GHB (the date rape drug).

Of course, if we hadn't had a CPSC to catch this, Jimmy and Janey would STILL be tripping. See, Rethuglicans? Taxes ARE good!

[DainBramaged]

82. I remember those, how insidious and screwed up was that.