Reply #7: I'll volunteer.

[sofa king]

Dear Katherine Harris,

I know you've had a bad shake. The chance to enforce the basic tenets of democracy only comes along once in awhile, as it did in 2000, and you made a courageous decision to ignore that opportunity and install a criminal plutocracy instead.

I feel your outrage and anguish as your efforts to betray the will of the American people went unrecognized by your fellow Republicans. Now they are stealing billions--no, trillions--from America and the world while you can only gather crumbs from underneath MZM's table. I know things are desperate for you: you're spending your own money to participate in the political process, rather than profiting from illicit campaign contributions like the rest of the Republicans.

I'll come work for you. I'll be as silent and opaque as a Frist blind trust. I'll be as honest and real as Nigerien uranium in Iraq. And I will be as honorable and trustworthy as... you. And that's a promise as good as anything Scott McClellan ever said on the clock.

Drop me a line anytime,

Sofa King