Reply #72: Okay by me..

[symbolman]

but only if they give him Polio and let him make the fire ALL by Himself -- we all know how co-ordinated he is :)

"There's some bad people, kinda evil doer folks thet wanna hurt us.. sometimes kill us.. lots of us.. and they knock down whole buildings in a single bound..wait..heh heh.. that's Superman.. I have the latest copy right here tucked away between the pages of this book they gave me to read about some Plague.. it was Blue.. No..uh...terra..Black.. it was a blacklike disease thing..didn't knock down no buildings..uh, but just like now there wasn't nothing we could'a done about it..like them planes, them kamakazies..What? What's at Karl? Don't say nothin' about no Kamakazies cos that would show we knew planes could fly into stuff and blow stuff up? Oh.. what?
And don't talk to you when the microphone is on? Oooooh..

So as I was sayin.. terra..some bad people want to ruin our economy, and right before Christmas too.. I was talking to Jesus the other day in the shitter.. what? What Dick? Don't say shitter? What the hell else IS IT called? I call Karl TurdBlossom all the time and everyone just laughs like hell.. huh? The what is on..? Microphone? Don't say I talk to Jesus? But I thought we wanted them stupid christans to vote for us.. but we don't need them NOW Dick..we ain't runnin' for office.. huh? Well, them other assholes can run their own show, I'm through with that chasin around having to remember speeches alla time.. HuH?

Oh hi Honey, what? Dick made you come over here and shut me up didn't he? I ain't listenin' to him no more, I only got three more years of presidentin' to do and it's hard enough without havin' to drag his fat ass around..

OUCH! Laura, NOT ON THE FACE! I TOLD you I won't go in front of no more cameras with a big ol' shiner and blame it on the dogs and that damned bicycle! You back off before I send you to gitmo, and you KNOW I can DO IT.. OUCH! HEY..okay, okay.. I'll do the radio show thing just like you guys said, that FDR talk thing.. but no more HITTING by either one of you..

Can they hear me rubbing my head while I talk about fear and fearing fear and all that crap? No? Okay.. Laura, you go sit where I can see you, get out from behind me like that.. Dick.. it wouldn't hurt you to smile once in a while.. you're still mad because I was microwaving that corn dog when you came around the corner the other day ain't you?

Didn't them medics start you up right fast? Then what are you bellyaching about? Laura, tell Dick I can't do this with him staring holes in me like that.. he's starting to look like he's already dead, kinda green around the gills..huh?

Sure we can get started.. I thought we already had the radio show recorded.. if you'd all stop fucking around.. are we ready.. okay, here goes..

I'm sitting here my fellow Mericans next to the same fireplace that FDR gave his famous speech from about not fearing the fear thing and ready to let you know what a great leader I am and how well this here war deal is going.. it was this fireplace right Here.. wha? Wha? WHAAAE!! WHOOOOAAAA!! OWWWWW!! GODAMMIT!! I'm ON FIRE! MY SLEEVE, MY SLEEVE -- BURNING!! AHHHHH, AHHHHH!! ahhhh!! ahhh!!" (sound trails off as He leaves the area blazing more and more as he runs from the room with SS agents giving chase..)

"This is Scott McClellan coming to you live from the White House. We want to thank the pResident for his inspiring speech and are glad that he was able to relieve the american public of any doubts they have concerning the glorious war for the Homeland being waged this very moment to protect our corporate.. er, American interests..

The pResident has been called away to answer an urgent call from the Leaders of many countries who want to offer their support as we withdraw 50,000 troops from Iraq and send them to Syria which will be an easy call for the pResident as the troops are physically only Yards away from Syria at the moment.

Any Questions? No? Uh, Helen, go to hell or shut up or we'll have you killed.. any other Questions?

I guess that's the end of the 'pResident Bush's Fireside Chat' for today. Tune in next week as Mr Bush dresses up in a StovePipe hat with a beard where he will mumble, gurgle and twitch from the back of a train decorated with millions of dollars, YOUR tax dollars..

If all goes well, within a few weeks Mr Bush will be donning an Elvis costume and belting out his favorite Elvis song, 'I'm on Drugs.. I'm all Fucked Up, uh huh hoo, yeah yeah..'"