Bush carries a petrified dog turd in his pocket for luck....

[kentuck]

He has carried it every day since 9/11 and it should be pointed out that we have not had another terrorist attack since that time. White House insiders are discussing whether or not to use this in their campaign commercials which they plan on test-marketing in the near future.

He found the turd on his pig farm just after he moved to his exclusive escape. At first, he thought it might be a pig turd but after much scientific analysis, it was determined to be a dog turd that pre-dated the previous pig farm.

Bush first noted the special powers of the dog turd when he almost sawed off his leg while out clearing some scrub oak down on his lower forty. He started carrying the turd in his jacket pocket and he never had another accident or near-accident with the chain saw.

Then, on Sept 10th, he decided to place the turd in his special cigar box where he kept his marbles and special baseball cards. Everyone knows what happened the next day. He decided then and there to get the cigar box down from its secret hiding place and retrieve the dog turd. Never again would he leave the dog turd behind.

And, as they say, the rest is history. He was carrying the dog turd when he landed on the Abraham Lincoln. He was carrying the dog turd when Uday and Qusay were shot to pieces. He was even carrying it when he was on the 12th hole of the golf course just a couple of days ago, when the UN HQs was truck-bombed in Baghdad.

Rove and Cheney will decide in the next few days whether or not to use it in the upcoming political commercials. They are debating whether or not it would be appropriate to use the dog turd to take advantage of their political opponents. However, they are quick to point out, there has not been another terrorist attack upon America since Bush has adopted the dog turd. He sleeps with it under his pillow.