Reply #19: The key is in choosing the consequences.

[wickerwoman]

You're right- you can't physically force a child to do anything he or she doesn't want to do. If you make it about something they *must* do or else, you can't win.

The key is to know what the kid really wants and then threaten to deny him or her of it if they don't cooperate.

The kindergarten where I sometimes sub has its own "ballroom"- one of those big swimming tanks filled with plastic balls. The kids get to go play in it for twenty minutes at the end of the day but if they don't cooperate they have to sit in the classroom and do their homework. Just the threat of being denied their time works like a charm.

And you can keep your kid from watching TV. Pull the cord out. Take away their comic books. Pull out the computer cord. It's not really that tough.

All parental violence taught me is "Your brother is a snitch, exclude him" and "Don't get caught."