Why Bush took three days to respond to the tragedy in Asia

[seasat]

It took three days to explain to Bush a tsunami. I picture it going something like this.

Science Advisor: a tsunami is a giant wave caused by an earthquake beneath the ocean surface. The wave moved onshore in Asia and killed tens of thousands.

Bush: Sue-Mommy?

Science advisor: Yes, tsunami.

Bush: Why would anyone want to sue my ma? Wait, I must be those Quaker Oats folks. Pa already explained to 'em that she was around before that pilgrim feller on their boxes and she ain't no infringement on their advertising.

Science Advisor: No, not that...

Bush interrupts: This is the reason I'm going to reform all them there torts ... greedy lawyers wanting to sue everyone's mommy.

Science Advisor: Errr, no they've been affected by a large wave caused by an undersea earthquake.

Bush: You're pullin' my leg, you can't have an earthquake under the sea. Otherwise they wouldn't call 'em earthquakes. Don't they call them big waves, tidal waves? Someone needs to get you more educated if you don't know them terms. Now what is this problem you're saying over in China?

Science advisor: Well, it's not in China, it's in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and Thailand.

Bush: They gots any oil?

Science Advisor: Errr, no.

Bush: Well then why should I worry about it, especially when they want to sue mommy.

The science advisor whips out his slide rule and commits self-immolation falling on a growing pile of science advisors.

Rove: Dadgum it Dick, he did another one. We're running out of science people who can be bribed to talk to this idiot.

Cheney: Well, we'll have to bring the big gun. Call in Barney.

Rove: The dog!?!?

Cheney: No, the purple dinosaur, he's the only one that can communicate on Dubya's level, though we might consider the dog, if the dancing dinosaur can't keep his attention.