Reply #89: Why I would not waste my urine to piss on Reagan's grave.

[ngant17]

Date: June 6, 2005. One year after Reagan’s death.

Comrade Natedawg has been arrested for pissing on Reagan’s grave.

Dept. of Homeland Security Judge: “Comrade Natedawg, you’ve been charged with desecration of our nation’s most sacred shrine, the tomb of the Great Communicator, President Ronald Wilson Reagan. How do you plead?

Comrade Natedawg: “Your Honor, I do not deny that I pissed on Reagan’s
grave. But I did not do it with the primary intention of insulting his memory. I simply noticed that the ground where he is buried is always completely barren, and I thought I could wet it with a little nitrogen and other waste nutrients into the ground, in the form of my urine, and maybe something green would naturally grow there at last.”

Dept. of Homeland Security Judge: “But don’t you know that trees
pollute, Comrade Natedawg? This is in Pres. Reagan’s own words. There is no higher authority. So we can’t have any plants
and flowers either, because we don’t want any possibility of something
like that contaminating his sacred soil.”

Comrade Natedawg: “Well, excuse me, sir. Then I shouldn’t have wasted
my time to piss on his grave, Your Honor. I now see that nothing will ever grow on the ground where Reagan has been buried. Not even a common weed. It was all an excercise in futility, like the story of his life.”

Dept. of Homeland Security Judge: “Then for such an outrage, I pronounce you guilty. You will be tortured and summarily shot and buried in an unmarked mass grave. Long live freedom in America!”

Comrade Natedawg: “Let justice be served. If it was good enough for the peasants and Indians of Central America, it should be good enough for me.”

Comrade Natedawg is hacked with machetes by Homeland Security guards,
and is taken away to a secret graveyard where the bones of many Salvadorans and Nicaraguan patriots had been clandestinely buried many years ago, perhaps during the Iran-Contra scandal. He is finally executed here.

No one notices the beautiful flowers that grows there. The blood of
those patriots have made a difference and Comrade Natedawg can rest in peace next to these bones.

But nothing ever grows by Reagan’s tomb. That is why I would not waste my urine to piss on his grave.

Comrade NateDawg
http://www.geocities.com/ngant17