A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

[acmavm]

(E-mail I got from my friend Shirlene)

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal
fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of
coffee, he
takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because
some
stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work
as
advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan
because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical
insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast,
bacon
and eggs.
Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for
laws to
regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly
labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents
because
some
crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his
body
and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep
breath.
The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko
liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He
walks
to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It
saves
him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some
fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which
gives
everyone
the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal
union
members fought and died for these working standards. Joes employer pays
these
standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the
union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't
think
he should lose his home or go hungry because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills.
Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless
liberal
wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the
banking
system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and
the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over
his
lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his

farm
home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among
the
safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car
safety
standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third
generation to
live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because
bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity
until
some
big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
demanded
rural

electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating
liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show.
The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are
good.
He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against
every
protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives!
After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of
themselves, just like I have."