Reply #29: hope that it helps

[salin]

the worst part of quals are the parts that we think that we may not be as well versed in as we "should be" (or as we think the committee members think that we should be.) Reality is that we have taken a heck of a lot more in than we realize... I mean - intense thought, study and focus over a period of YEARS... it is just that in some of the areas which are not our primary focus (and thus we do not as frequently work through verbally - written or oral) we may need just a little push to elicit (from our mind) what is there...and when we do it is a risk that the mental diharria that comes out (my term - sorry for the grossness - but when thinking... sometimes a thought just spews out there) - doesn't directly answer what is asked... that is where the only 'danger' exists - we know - but in the nerves that come in these situations we don't always loop back that spew (that is often very in depth and very cogent)... often one last thought that ties it together is the only difference between ... "not sure that she/he gets it" (a judgement primarily due to the fact that when questions are asked it is more related to the committee member's personal interest/research and thus they are kinda looking for a specific type/realm of answer) versus a "wow..."

My quals weren't orals (thank goodness) but were brutal - and almost each of us were defeated, not by our ability or nerves, but by our own lack of self-confidence. Took me a long time to fully realize that in our area of specific study/research - we really were (if we were doing our work effectively) among the most knowledgeable folks in the country on that specific area (who else has the time to read so much research and theory on one small area and analyze it and compare it and wrestle with it, etc.) And that the knowledge built along the way on some of the side areas (like minor concentrations) was deeper than realzied... because to begin to think about those topics/issues in a way that could be integratd to explore one's major research area required a much deeper level of internalization while going through the work than regular read/memoraize/regurgitate... a whole lot more is there - and with greater insight than we often realize. It is a side product of the whole process. Just no one helps us realize that - and the nerves can get us to where we freeze.

Sometimes the whole process feels like a long fraternity hazing program.

BTW - while I have perspective through this point... was at an institution that almost by existence forced the... "I may be smart and good, but I don't know that I have what it takes what a PhD from X institutions..." and the self-defeating nerves - even when producing at a high rate - was HUGE. For me, had to get through the hoops and realize that it was fully within my grasp and capabilities (a confidence thing) before I could then ask if the career that followed was what I really wanted for the rest of my life. Only when I got through (to the "infamous all but dissertation..." had candidacy, finsihed coursework, had the research (theory, lit review, and methodology and instruments) laid out... and knew it was cool to go... that I could walk away. Am more of a practitioner... realized I would rather start an organization from scratch to do the work I was researching - and that either way would take more than a year longer of almost no pay... that I if I was going to be poor with job insecurity for several years... would rather be practicing and starting a program/organization from scratch - than finishing a dissertation and be set for a life of scholarship(my program spit you straight into research U jobs... a fantastic thing in a tight market... IF that is what one wanted for the rest of one's life...) Long way of saying... my advice (which I like to think is pretty good) ends at a point not much beyond where you are now - at least that based in experience... I love it when folks can gain something from that experience... and then go and surpass the source of that advice! Go forth - kick butt - and keep kicking academic butt until you are blazing trails for others with your research and nurturing as a teacher to lead others. :thumbsup:

Yikes - way too much about my path... at a time where the focus is yours.

Short message: Don't let your nerves - or their agendas (which always come into the room in these things) get in your way - a few seconds here and there to reflect - pull what you know and wrap it to their interests... and you are golden and past a hurdle that accelerates you to shining on your own work. A toast to you!

Please let us celebrate with you when it is over!