Reply #5: yes, its possible.

[Lerkfish]

I was emotionally abused: as in, taught to feel i was completely worthless, could do nothing right, etc. etc. (even though I was a straight A student, senior class president, and voted most likely to succeed). I excelled at school because I could actually obtain acceptance for being good, something I could not get at home. No matter what i did, it was wrong, I would even be set up (I realized as an adult) to fail at home so that my dad could feel superior by humiliating me.
As an adult, i came to understand the problem was his, his own lack of self esteem, that made him feel good ONLY if he could make those around him feel unworthy. After I came to that realization and reached a point of forgiveness, I could finally retrieve some good memories. Up until that point, all I could remember were the bad memories, they haunted me and hamstrung me for many years -- for example, i would always sabotage relationships with women if it appeared they were actually starting to like me, because there must be something wrong with THEM to like ME. (long story down that road, but I digress).

I then had good memories...like when I got straight A baseball tickets my dad would actually take me to the stadium, and even though I was not a sports fan, it was at least a couple of hours where he stopped trying to make me feel worthless. He was a big baseball fan, so he got excited explaining everything to me. that was probably one of the few glimpses into what he was like, apart from his need to humiliate others. He was actually a nice man, in fact he was nice to everyone BUT his family. I know there are a lot of abusers like that.

I remember as a small child, he would stop off and let us buy soft ice cream cones. He was a coach for my sister's softball league and after games he would take all the players to a hot dog stand, and we would tag along. WITH OTHER PEOPLE around, he was a great guy. So I keep those memories.
And, later in life, before he died, I think he realized he screwed up because we never came to visit him (why go to get abuse?). Finally, I'd had enough, and decided I was going to bury the hatchet and forgive him completely, to his face and make peace.
i went back with my sisters, and like always, he started in on all our faults. I was 30, the youngest, so we were all adults....I stopped him and said "dad, do you remember ANY positive things about us kids?". That shut him up for about an hour. He actually looked like I had struck him with a baseball bat. Then, a great thing happened....out of the blue, he started bringing up positive things about us. It took him an hour to think of them, but once that dam burst, the relationship was tons better. He died soon after, so I'm glad I did that.