Trying to find the end: A Divorce Thread

[Taverner]

Just a minute ago Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey just came on the radio, and I almost broke down crying. Not that its a particularly sad song, but it was the song that was playing at the cafe when I met my wife, that day so long ago back in 1993. We were both bright, optimistic, passionate Peace Corps volunteers meeting at a bar where Americans upcountry frequented.

I remember the moment distinctly - a Van Morrison greatest hits album was playing and I was introduced to her. I knew right away there was a connection and things went well from that point.

Ten plus years later, we've got a kid, we're considering divorce, and neither of us is really interested in the other. Unlike when you fall in love, you never really know when it's 'over.' You just suspect and take a good stab at it.

We'll be off for Jamaica in three days to make one last ditch effort at our marriage, but the two of us have grown apart so much since we returned to the US that who knows if it's even possible for these now complete strangers to reconcile anymore?

Thinking of a pending divorce is like a death on the horizon. I know it will be painful, and much more painful than I can imagine. No one's divorce is ever easy.

And if the relationship is already dead, the divorce will not be like a wake, where the good times are recounted and pleasant memories remembered, but more like an autopsy, only there will be no cause of death, only a freezing cold slab with the cadaver of a failed relationship open for public view.