Okay it's official, my husband is an a**hole! - Warning long rant!

[Minimus]

Anyone following the saga of my life knows about me putting my dog to sleep on 12/1/04 and the grief I have been struggling with.

Then I wrote about husband being a jerk, changing password to access banking accounts, acting weird, etc.

Just before Thanksgiving he announced he had decided to go to his family's in NY even though TG was planned for my family this year and he said he felt bad about me dealing with the sick dog at that time but he went anyway. I had to make up excuse for him not coming to my parent's house.

So just before Christmas he announces that we have different goals and the only way I can prove I have the same goals as him is to not spend any money for one whole year - 2005- on anything he deems unnecessary. He cited examples as: flowers in the Spring (I love to garden) and birdseed (I'm a birder). So basically no spending on anything that brings me pleasure I guess. All extra money will be applied to paying off bills. I told him that would be difficult, and he said he didn't think I could do it. So basically he is saying "Here is what you can do to keep me, but I know you can't do it."

I came into the marriage (of 4 years) with a townhouse, a car, and my dog. I had no debt, except for mortgage and car payment. None, zilch, nada. He had alot of debt. We sold my TH and he traded in my car on something else. We had a house built, small but nice on a 1.5 acres and bought furniture, landscaping, fencing, etc. So now it is MY fault we have dept. He says I have doubled the amount of debt he came into the marriage with and he wants it PAID OFF now! He was right beside me on every purchase we made for the house. It is not like I've been out buying clothes, jewelry, or other things just for myself.

So as Christmas approaches I am told I cannot buy presents for my family as I have always done because I spent alot on vet bills. I accepted that as did my family but they still sent us gifts. This just made him MAD. He refused to come to my parents for Christmas because I told them what was going on and he said he would feel uncomfortable. I spent the whole weekend with Mom and Dad and did my best not to feel guilty about leaving husband (they live 40 miles away), Mom sent me home with food, pie, cake, fudge, etc. and the gift them. He acted so blase about it all. My parent's usually give each child $1,000 for Christmas to buy whatever they want, but due to my husband's behavior they did not this year. Mom took me shopping and made me pick out something so I wouldn't have to turn the money over to my husband, and she bought him his own gift. Every other year he took the $1,000 (to pay bills) and I usually insisted that I would get to buy one thing just so I could tell my parents what I got (last year it was pajamas, and they only cost about $50) I guess husband was surprised not to get $$$ this year.

Now that I am able to control my grief over my doggie I'm getting pi**ed at husband.

Could any of you go for a year without spending any money on "unnecessary items." ????

Whew! it feels good to vent. Sorry to all of you who actually read this entire rant.