Reply #23: "The I-95 Asshole Song"

[CO Liberal]

I used to get requests for this one all the time when I used to DJ in bars back in New Jersey:

* * * * *

The I-95 Asshole Song
(Recorded by Both Jimmy Buffett
and August Campbell and His Spur-of-the-Moment Band)

Well I was drivin’ down I-95 the other night.
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn’t gonna do any good to get mad.
So I wrote a song about him instead.
It goes like this…

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
‘cause you’re an asshole tonight.

Yes you’re an A S S H O L E…
And don’t you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You’re an asshole tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday.
You’re an asshole tonight.
And I’ve got a feelin’
you’ll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talkin’ to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an asshole.
She said, “Yes. I think you’re right.”

And all your friends are assholes
‘cause you’ve known them your whole life.
And somebody told me
you’ve got an asshole for a wife.

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
‘cause you’re an aaaass…hole tonight.

http://blog.orbyonline.com/archives/2003/01/06/were-you-born-an-asshole/