Reply #112: Another problem with talking to many men about rape

[WildClarySage]

is that they don't understand the socialization and behaviors of women that can contribute to the occurance of rape (PLEASE- I AM NOT INFERRING THAT WOMEN HAVE ANY PART OF BLAME IN RAPE) what I mean is that when many women are confronted with rape, there is often a fear response of 'freezing' up. So that even if there is someone who can help her in the very next room she may not be able cry for help, or even move, much less fight, which would be the socialized response from most men. I've worked with women who couldn't believe it was rape because they didn't feel anything at the time of the occurance, because of this freezing. They felt horribly violated afterward, but didn't want to identify it as rape because the immediate emotional response wasn't there.

The rape prosecutor in our town, though he was a very sympathetic and educated man, never could quite 'get' how a woman being raped could freeze up like that. Men who don't know as much about rape as he does would be less likely to believe that if she doesn't fight back, it's not rape. But it still is. Any time someone forces a woman to engage in a sexual activity, whether or not there is a visible or perceived threat of violence, it is rape.