Reply #44: Wow, that's really tough.

[kiraboo]

I have an eleven-year-old son also and he has always been on the fringe socially. For years he's been called gay... a few of the many reasons are: he has blond hair, he sits with his legs crossed, he likes to draw, he doesn't do popular culture very well etc. etc. This year he entered middle school and all hell broke loose. He has had the meltdowns you describe. I've been up with him late at night when I was awakened by his sobbing at night. I once made the mistake of suggesting, gently, that he try to do a few more "boy" things to get the guys off his back. He burst into a fresh flood of tears and cried, "I just want to be myself!" His sister went through a milder version of this two years earlier and I was able to use her ability to make it through as an inspiration for Juergen. I don't know what kind of counselling your boy has had, but I believe that training him to cope... building his self-esteem etc., is more successful in the long run than pulling him out of a situation. Having said that, I did consider homeschooling Juergs and I respect your choice to change schools. Interestingly, I had a neighbor whose daughter had social issues very early on... second and third grade. She was going to the local Catholic school and was terrorized by the kids for being TOO religiously devout. I don't think there is any basis (other than the affirmation made by Dr. Laura!) that religious schools are guaranteed to provide a better social environment than public school. My heart goes out to you and your son. I hope you find a solution.