SIGN MY PETITION, PLEASE to be the Lounge's ***OFFICIAL*** Kept Man.

[short bus president]

By replying in this thread, regardless of the actual content of your post, you hereby join me in petitioning the powers that be to take me in officially as the Lounge's kept man. I don't require much... a small monthly allowance to keep me happy and buy me pretty things. Be kind to me and lavish me with praise when I'm a good boy. In return, I agree to be available for pretty much all of the Lounge's kept-man-related needs, except on smoke breaks and made-up holidays. I'll even lift weights everyday like this guy:



Of course my price includes a nightly burlesque act, tho only the high waistband-stuffer gets a peek inside the mango pants. I'll cook, but won't clean. I'll also cut the grass and make all the beer runs, but I won't hold anybody's hair back when they vomit, or groom anyone's yak. Ooh... and I can do yer taxes, too, if yer not particular about 'em being right or anything...