Did you know in some cities honking is considered the HEIGHT of rudeness?

[Bouncy Ball]

I didn't know that until a couple of years ago. I was born in Dallas and grew up there. Honking is just something you do, though we don't do it a whole lot.

There are different types of honks, of course. There's the tap, which can mean anything from "watch out, I'm right here!" to "what the fuck is your deal? You gonna take all day there?"

Then there is the medium honk, which is a general warning.

The long honk is TOTALLY COMPLETELY PISSED OFF.

So I go down to Austin a couple of summers ago to see my best friend and her husband, who are also from Dallas, but have acclimated to Austin. We go to a little pizza parlor. There is a car right in the front and the family is getting in the car, so I decide to wait on that spot. My friends get antsy and nervous, pointing out other spots really far away, but my friend's husband just had surgery on his knee and I don't want him to have to hobble that far. I didn't know what the big frigging deal was about waiting on a spot.

"You're making them feel like they have to hurry," they said.

I was baffled. "And? Good! They need to! I'm not doing anything wrong, just waiting on the spot."

My friends kept shooting nervous glances all around.

Two of the women put a baby in a carseat, then proceed to STAND THERE talking with their car doors wide open, while I am clearly sitting there waiting on the spot, the only one which will be available on the front. They're talking and talking and they even glance up at me, so I know they know I'm there.

So I give a courtesy tap, which in this case means "Hello, in case you didn't notice, I'm waiting on that spot."

In Dallas, that honk would have been seen as downright nice.

Oh my God. My friends HIT the floorboard of my car, yelling "OH MY GOD SHE HONKED AT THEM!!!" The guy who was standing over on the driver's side (but STILL not in the car, because he was too busy picking his nose or something) starts shaking his fist at me and screaming "HOW DARE YOU HONK AT US YOU BITCH!!" The two women looked appalled and self-righteously angry and start screaming about my little tap on the horn.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I was truly confused. It was a NICE HONK!!!! Don't Austinites know a nice honk when they hear one??? My friends on the floorboards were muttering to each other "God, I forgot, she still lives in Dallas."

I told them to get their asses back up in the seat. The people very huffily got in their car (FINALLY) and pulled out and I pulled in.

When we went in the pizza place, my friends were shaken and kept looking at me and saying "I can't believe you did that."

I had no idea.