Reply #13: Here is what works for us.

[jswordy]

I have been in one relationship for 25 years now. We find these things work:

1.) Don't be judgmental and jealous. Allow each other wide latitude and room to express individuality. This creates fertile ground for trust to grow.

2.) Never part angry with each other. Heal your wounds, or at least get to the place where you both feel healing will take place.

3.) Rather than trying to make the other person fit ideal requirements, honor them for who they are, warts and all, and what they bring to the relationship that would not be, otherwise.

4.) Realize that disappointment in the other person does not automatically mean things are over. In fact, disappointment in the other person can be a beautiful place for the relationship to grow deeper, if each person is honest in working through it.

5.) Try not to ratchet up arguments to be hotter than necessary. Hurtful words can come out, and they cannot be taken back. Instead, try to explore why each person has grown to feel the way they do to cause the disagreement in the first place.

6.) Always support each other's life explorations, so that the relationship will not grow stale, or stiff and unyielding.

7.) Forget about perfectionistic goals for the future, and cherish the beauty of being together now. Live day to day honoring each other. There may not be a tomorrow.

Best of luck to you both.