Reply #84: Have you thought about counseling or a group

[gardenista]

for codependence or something like ALANON?

I was in an eight year relationship with a daily, hourly pot user. I didn't know how much he was using until we broke up and friends enlightented me. It was exactly the same feeling, that he was never really fully there. I realized much later how bad his addiction was, and that I was never going to break through that.

It took a long time, and a lot of false starts, but we finally broke up for good, and I went on to get married to a man who adores me, is always there for me, and who, ironically, has never smoked.

I hear throught the grapevine that my ex is still living with his brother, still smoking daily, and has not had a relationship since. It's very sad to me, but he has chosen to live a very limited existence, and the pot has everything to do with it.

Reminds me of the commercial where the two guys in their thirties are in a room hitting on a bong, and one says, "I don't know what's so bad about pot. I've been smoking since highschool, and I haven't changed." A few seconds later his mom calls up the stairs, "Son, it's time to take out the trash, it's been sitting there for two days" Or something like that.

I know I'll get accused of spreading "anti-pot" propaganda. That's what my ex would say, too.