Suffering from Panic Disorder, makes my life a mess. Anyone else?

[The Straight Story]

I just started taking zoloft after a year of hell in my life. Actually was several years of it but this year has been the worst.

From all indications I am suffering from anxiety / panic disorder. I don't like leaving the house the much, fears of dying, and so on and so forth (won't bore you with the details).

I am turning 40 this month. Since I have turned 30 here are the things which seem to be milestones in my life (the bad milestones, had really good ones too like my wife, daughter, promotions this year, first house and so on):

-in order as best I can recall, it all blurs together though-

1. Lost 3 boys in divorce. Have not seen them in 7 years, they were the world to me.

2. X-Girlfriend: broke up with her, wanted to marry her. She hem hawed around and I found love of my life. Then I found out she was pregnant. I was 2200 miles away when she had my daughter. Long story, no ones fault, we just met at wrong time.

3. Best friend Scott died in a car accident.

4. Best friend Brady died of accidental overdose of pain meds

5. Good friend and 'mom #3' died of pancreatic cancer (Judy in Ridgecrest, CA). She and her Husband were friends to me when I was so far from home (Ohio).

6. Marietta and Tom, Neighbors and friends of the family both died. Son lost their house and is virtually homeless.

7. Mom and Mary died. Mom on 12/31 and Mary in April. They were best friends and Mary was mom #2 to me growing up.

Have moved several times. From Mt Vernon, Ohio to columbus, to Ridgecrest, back to Columbus, then again to ridgecrest. Then to Columbus, then Tehachapi, to Columbus, to Circleville then to Laurelville, then back to Columbus (bought the house next door to mom).

Laid off one job, quit the other, then laid off again, then found the job I have now.

It has been an amazing journey for me. Good and bad. Great memories have been made, and great sadness as well.

It all snapped when mom passed on I think. She went in for a simple infection, and languished two months in the hospital. Came home for a few days, bad ice storm, power out, she went back into hospital and died new years eve.

Now I have these attacks. I find it hard to go anywhere, from shopping to church to work at times.

Anyone else feel such things, or am I just nuts?? I am NOT looking for sympathy, does not help me at all really. Just wondering sometimes if I am the only one who seems to suffer day to day when it comes to the little things.

My wife is upset because I don't want to do anything anymore, though we have done things like go pick apples, went to church tonight, and so on. but I have difficulty even going to dinner now somewhere.

I guess I just have a safezone and don't want to leave it. Maybe I am nuts :)