Reply #4: I steal Clausmas every year

[hfojvt]

I put antlers on my dog, put on a Santa suit, break into all of the houses and steal all of the decorations, all of the food, and all of the presents, take them up to the top of Mount Crumpet and toss them over the side. And every year that jolly fat fu#%er with his magical powers and his flying reindeer and elves puts them all back by 4:30 AM. But not this year. This year I am setting a trap at 794 Elm Lane. When he comes down that chimney to deliver his lump of coal he will be met by several rabid and starving rottweilers named Jesus, Balthasar, Caspar and Abendigo. His reign of hypocritical happiness and greedy faux-generosity will be over or my name is not Grinch Oscar Scrooge! Rue-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!1!!