Reply #5: Give her pity. Give her loads of pity. Lots and lots and lots of pity.

[Straight Shooter]

Give her what she wants. Always treat her like she's deserving of pity. Play her game. She won't like it, eventually. You can let her know that you wouldn't be so worthless if only you had had a different mother, but hey, that's life, and can you get some pity, too, please?

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Believe me, I understand. My mother is the eternal martyr. Her children just aren't grateful enough. Grrrr.