Reply #36: Gawd, hun. I feel for you.

[fudge stripe cookays]

My mom is a controlling bitch. It's the most horrible feeling in the world to hate your own mother, but I do.

My father died when I was 13, and for 10 years, I was under the thumb of this witch and my not-yet-stepmonster. I could not escape from them and their screwed up relationship. She held all the money, and with no degree, I was stuck there.

Their relationship was so screwed up. Out of a 9 year relationship, they were only married for a year and a half, and during that year of marriage, they didn't even live in the same city. She ALWAYS chose him over me. ALWAYS.

For a long time I thought I could work past it. So many of my good years were wasted trying to start my own life and get the fuck away from her, but I was constantly fighting her. I just thought I'd have time later to do all the stuff I wanted.

Well, now that I've been diagnosed with MS, I'm furious. I could fucking KILL HER for wasting so many wonderful years in my 20s for me. I had dreams of travel and adventure that I never got to realize. Now? Between the threats of terrorism and my illness (making my legs unsuited for long walking expeditions around Florence or Paris or Vienna the way I used to be able to do), I will NEVER be able to do some of the stuff I wanted.

When she was up for Thanksgiving, it was all I could do not the fall on her and begin choking her.

Did I mention my brother has completely estranged himself from her too? She also threatened to kill me two years ago. The only reason I'm still speaking to her is because I wanted some of the old family letters to finish writing my family history. I have them now.

I MADE her take me out of her will. I was sick and tired of the bitch using it for leverage. I don't want anything from her except to have her out of my life.

So, yes dear, I understand your anger and frustration. Know that you have an elite club of members here at DU who also belong to the mother hating club.

fsc