Reply #59: How about some from Bad Santa:

[Initech]

"Oh yeah, baby, you won't be able to shit right for a week! "

"He's not going to say fuck stick in front of the children, is he?"

"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!"

"Santa likes to fuck fat chicks in the ass. "

Willie: I beat the shit out of some kids today, but it was for a purpose.
Marcus: You're going to need many years of therapy. Many fucking years of therapy.

Woman in Food Court: Look who's here! It's Santa! Tell Santa what you want for Christmas!
Willie: I'm on my fucking lunch break, OK?
Woman in Food Court: The manager's going to hear about this.
Willie: You think you're a threat? You think you can make my fucking life any worse? Go ahead, take a shot!

"Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass. "

Willie: Oh, shit. Sage Terrace. What is it with you, anyway? Somebody drop you on your fucking head?
Kid: On *my* head?
Willie: Well, yeah. What, are they gonna drop you on somebody else's head?
Kid: How can they drop me onto my own head?
Willie: No, not *onto* your... Would... God damn it! Are you fucking with me?