AGENDA FOR THE REPUGLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION 2008:
7:00 P.M. Unveiling of new "Mission Accomplished" banner. 7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to Halliburton. 7:30 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Ken Mehlman to "Go F**K yourself!" 7:30 until Evangelical prayer and gay bashing. Led by Reverend 8:00 P.M. Ted Haggard 8:00 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Donnie Rumsfeld to "Go F**K yourself!" 8:05 P.M. Ceremonial Whale Hunt - Speaker Hastert flees convention 8:15 until Congressional Page of The Year - ex-Rep Tom Foley (R-FL) 8:30 P.M. presiding. 8:30 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Condaleeza Rice to "Go F**K yourself!" 8:35 P.M. Free Jack Abramov Rally. Tom DeLay - Bob Ney. 9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. "Staying the Course" Richard M. Nixon 9:15 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Alberto Gonsalves to "Go F**K yourself!" 9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Halliburton slush fund 9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to change official spelling of IRAQ to V I E T N A M
9:40 P.M. WHY I LOVE THE MILITARY, A short bottom line review by former Vice-President Dick Cheney, newly reannointed as President & CEO of Halliburton
9:45 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Bill Frist to "Go F**K yourself!" 9:50 P.M. Bill O'Reilly given Fair & Balanced award, presented by Ann Coulter
9:55 P.M. Dick Cheney tells Tony Snow to "Go F**K yourself!" 10:00 P.M. "Bringing the United Nations to heel" a Power Point presentation by Ambassador John R. Bolton.
10:25 P.M. Announcement of Presidential Pardon of Oliver North 10:30 P.M. Nomination of Oliver North by G. Gordon Liddy 11:00 P.M. Dick Cheney tells John Roberts to "Go F**K yourself!" 11:05 P.M. General Casey outlines plan to bring troops home from Iraq "as soon as we find enough coffins."
11:15 P.M. President George W. Bush announces suspension of civil rights and Constitution for duration of war on terror.
11:30 P.M. George W. Bush declared President For Life 12:00 A.M. Dick Cheney asks Senator John McCain to go hunting 12:05 A.M. Tom Foley and Ted Haggard announce engagement. June wedding planned. Jerry Falwell to perform ceremony.
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