Reply #95: I think perhaps are assuming that cheating is merely

[crim son]

fucking. A person cheats before any physical contact occurs, when they transfer feelings from their SO to another person. Yet so many people here are talking about this in terms of sexual intercourse, like (so sweetly put) "a dog licking its balls." I'm not even slightly interested in defending my choices, but it's hard to read this thread and all it's assumptions and generalizations, and not be astonished.

And imagine this: the cheating stopped the abuse. The man I loved taught me that what I was dealing with, and what my children were dealing with, was unacceptable. I did not understand that before and before I am judged for this as well, just give it up, okay? Once I did understand I saw that it never happened again. The husband is in counseling for his anger issues. We are amicable. Sigh. This is definitely not the place to unburden oneself and I realize that. But christ, have you people no imagination whatsoever? Specifically, can you not imagine that you don't know the smallest piece of the whole story of anybody's life?

Perhaps I do live in a completely different world, morally. I begin to think so, because what is being characterized here as evil, a dirty and shameful act, a rationalization, was as inevitable for me as breathing. Leaving my husband for a love that seemed too good to be real - not inevitable. And now, I am going to leave this topic and not look back.