I am a combination of courageous hirsuteness and empathic truculence!

[Rabrrrrrr]

This is why I would make a great leader - not only my immense vocabulary proves my superior intellect, but my fearless trust in my own decision-making and kind love of industry, as pointed out in the thread title, make me a prime candidate for handling the kind of emergencies that a president faces, as well as the common domestic issues that crop up, though I will rely mostly on my kleptomaniacal gaberdineness for that. I'm also a lackadaisical arborist, which will serve me well in international diplomacy.

I'm sorry to use such big words, which I'm sure most of you don't understand, but I wanted you to see just how perfectly graveolent and saturated with inedible dourness I am.

Of course, *you* might need a dictionary.

But please, encaustic (a fancier way of saying "cast", a word more perfectly suited to my indelible malfeasance) your vote for me!